So im sober going on over a 1 and 1/2 now and my other half is still in active addiction… we have been together 12 years…i was in prison and decided if i paroled back out to where they were this cycle would never end so i took a chance and i didnt . I then told them i didnt leave them i just need to get off paper and so does this person. Is it possibly to go on like this ??? One sober one not ,long distance 12 years.no trust,paranoia and all the actions that come from using i have take in a do every single day like im living ground hogs day over again…
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I can only speak for myself when I say I know if I were in a relationship like that, it wouldn’t last and if it did, it certainly wouldn’t be healthy.
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Also welcome to the TS family. We’re glad you found us.
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I had to forge a real relationship with God, it is still in progress.
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To be honest I admire your strength to stay sober for 1,5 years under these circumstances.
I can only share my story: It didn’t work as he refused to acknowledge there is a problem and he is an addict (alcohol). I couldn’t bare the situation and his behaviour anymore and it ended in a big bang from my side.
After 1 3/4 years I can say: Yes, there is my beloved partner still missing occacionally in my life. And my life, health, self-esteem and my ability to live a calm, healthy life improved massively. I’m still working on co-dependent patterns and unlearning all the unhealthy coping mechanisms I developed over the last years (and some childhood issues). It’s a long way to rediscover my original self living in peace without stress & worries. It was worth every minute and all the hard work I put in it. Still a work in progress. I’m way better off without my ex, he refused to seek therapy, councelling or anything, not to adress our relationship nor his alcoholism. Not working on anything was not working for me anymore.
If you want, there’s a wonderful thread where we discuss, vent and help us with similar issues. Feel free to read around and join the discussion. Talk it out, vent, think loud. You are not alone 
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Welcome!! That is a hard spot to be in. I have no advice, but I am glad you are here and reaching out. While this place cannot solve your dilemma, it may offer some support to help you thru. I hope to see you around.
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Welcome, I am glad you are here and posting!
I personally had to sort through my relationships with a therapist, and then again in my step work. I’m continually seeing new things within myself and my own patterns that impact my relationships.
Al-Anon has also been extremely helpful for many people I know while trying to navigate sober relationships with those who still struggle with their addictions.
Wishing you well and continued sobriety! 
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What I can say is there is a difference between being sober/clean and living in recovery. Being sober/clean is only abstaining from a substance. A big part of recovery is finding/being at peace. A new way of life, new habits that sort of thing.
Can your relationship work with you maintaining sobriety??? Sure. Is it worth it? Is the relationship worth the stress? Does it bring more positive to your life than negative? Hard questions with even harder choices I know. Best wishes
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I definitely understand you wanting to save the relationship but honestly if was me the stress of wondering n worrying a out the one still active would cause me to telapse hard core! I would be careful and protect yourself and your recovery? You already know i think or you wouldnt ask! Im proud of you i suggest getting with sponsor, ladies with more clean time and meetings CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR CLEAN TIME!
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That’s a very hard situation to be in. I know that personally I can’t be with an addicted partner. It’s to hard for me to keep myself in check when I’m surrounded by the things I’m trying to give up.
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