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How are you doing today?
Hi @Sunshine-girl, I’m doing alright. I went to bed early last night because my demon was in high gear! But I stayed 
! Not sure why really. I’m near the 30day mark, again. So, maybe that is it or maybe something else or maybe it was nothing at all, but my Stupid 
brain 
! Why?
I did what it took to go to bed sober, last night! I’m happy this morning but feeling a little unease too.
I really need to keep this demon in its place!!!
I have no place for it in my life anymore. I must go to bed sober again tonight!
Seen a quote here last night which came at the right time. I made a meme with it. I think I will keep it close for a while. I will not go back to another day one!!!
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This 100% correct advice. You must want to quit for you and no one else.
I reset a gazillion times before it finally stuck and I was sober for 5 years. I recently picked-up but jumped right back into sobriety. I am not letting alcohol run my life ever again.
Keep trying and make some changes in your life if you must to support your sobriety.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are rewiring your brain to think differently and break it from negative thoughts that lead to consumption. Get to meetings, find tools that appeal to you, and therapy is also very helpful.
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Coming up on 2 month is awesome work. Sorry that the demon is trying to act up. So many reasons on why it acts up but we just need to stay vigilant.
Smart to go to bed early to avoid the temptations.
I absolutely love that quote. A great reminder. Love the pic too.
You keep kicking butt and stacking up the days 
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Thank you, for your support! I’m determined never to drink again! It doesn’t help me anyway. It is only killing me and I know that. So the answer must no more. Sadly, I’m only coming up on 30 day part 2. I will remain very vigilant to my sobriety. I will make it to 60day and beyond too!!
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Hello @Von100
I just read the whole story of yours from the very beginning. I very much relate to how you started. I felt exactly the same when promising myself not to drink but drinking the same night and hating myself each time I did. It took me approximately 3 years struggling like this untill I finally got on track. So I know how exhausting it can be.
I love your determination and I believe you can do this, because I can feel it from every word of yours how much you want it, which is very important. You strike me like a person who will love and enjoy the sober life, which helps a lot! And I can confirm to you, that sober life IS beautiful and the best you can gift to yourself. I went through hell when drinking and I want to never be back !!!
This place is great to share as well as just read. I also listened to “Recovery elevator” podcast by Paul Churchill, that helped me a lot. He’s hosting people who became sober and decided to share their story. You will find different ages and lengths of sobriety. I could see similarities in majority of the stories and it helped me to stay sober when I had cravings because the stories and their similarities were the best reminded of why I’m on this path.
I also still have cravings now, even after such a long time (5 and half years) but I don’t struggle. It’s not a fight anymore. It’s just some silly try from my 
(like you call it 
) but I only notice it and let it go. Perhaps Xmas is the worse period for me, so don’t beat yourself up too much if you relapsed over the period. But all my family and friends know that I’m sober, so drinkinkg isn’t an option anymore.
I’m sorry if your hubby doesn’t share the same direction. Well, you know how hard it is and he’s perhaps struggling. You can show him that it’s possible and see if that helps. I wish for him to get better (like I wish it for everyone 
).
Just wanted to say that you’re amazing 
and I love your story to bits. Every each step is making you stronger and shaping you to a person you want to be 
I admire you and wish you all the best 
Hope you’ll be hanging out here with us for very long (forever haha)
All the best, @Von100
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This is all we can do. Don’t think about it being a sad moment because you are doing it again. Be proud that you are here and pushing forward. You are using all your tools and leaning on your support and that is the best thing you can do – ODAAT 
Reading your story on my own day 0, taking a lot from it o thanks for posting!
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Love the quote & meme! Here for you! Let’s stay sober together tonight! You don’t have to listen or give the demon any value. Someone said to me “you never have to listen to that voice in your head again.” I keep it in mind as the demon (as hard as it is to go against) is just a part of our mind we have learn and practice to control.
If you have it in you or have the time do something for self care tonight. My plan is to take a hot shower and do a face mask. You are not alone friend ! 
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Thank you for all your support. Someday are just harder than others!
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Yes I understand this. I do have them too. Easier and more difficult days. But together we can make the harder days and then I always say this to myself (like my sponsor tells me) this too shall pass. And it’s so true. The morning then always looks brighter. Hugs to you 
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Almost back to sixty days! Finally went to the doctor was super nervous because two years ago my liver was showing signs of damage. And since I continue to be dumb, well thought for sure it would not be good! But happy to report all is good. Dealing with a pre diabetes’ but I’m already on the right path to chance that! I really feel like I have Dodge a bullet!
I know that I have so many more drinks left in me but I don’t have many sobers left. I have learned a lot in these last few months. And I’m happy to sober and also aware how easy it is to stubble back. But I’m feeling positive and I know it is for the best. And I really do enjoy living a sober life. So I will keep doing this one day at a time!
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Thank you for the update and congrats on nearly 60 days 
The pre-diabetes can be handled by lifestyle change and healthy diet, maybe along with supporting medication for some time. I got rid of mine within a year. Lost 15 kg, ate healthier, upped moving my lazy couch loving me by adopting a dog from the shelter. Had metformin to support, could stop taking it, not needed anymore.
Keep going 
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So lovely to see you popping in with nearly 60 days. Glad your liver is doing well. The steps you are taking towards a healthier lifestyle will help with the pre diabetes. Keep up the amazing work 
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Thanks for the information. I go back to the doctor in two weeks I will ask them about it. Been getting out and walking the dogs once day. Plan to increase to twice a day. I work in front of computer all day, so definitely need to move more. And now I’m not hangover all the time and My energy is finally starting to come back. Im feel like doing more. But it sure seems like it took a long time but when I abused myself years definitely not surprised!
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Every babystep counts, changing daily behaviour is a long-term process. Just keep going, doing, trying new things, some may stick. For instance, I had a lot of stretching input from my physiotherapy and some of it was capable of being integrated into daily routine along things I already do. Helps with some of my health issues to walk better.
I’ve been grateful to myself for every little task I do and did for years now, it added up to new routines, better life order and it’s going on. The tiniest task I was grateful for was putting my teacup in the dishwasher (already stacked) and start it in the evening. Me was happy for clean dishes in the morning.
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Awesome work 
. Great to see you celebrating 2 months 
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Thank you @JazzyS! Getting this back wasn’t easy. Especial those the first few days. I know I must keep going and there is no just one night. Because one turns into many. And Many turns into the struggle to get sober again!
Hubby did throw out some bait last night but I did not even hesitate to say no, I’m not drinking. Which was strange in way or not because that is how the 
works. But it was the first time since we stopped again that he did try one of tricks from the old playbook.
Yes, happy to say, he is like 5 days from he 60days.
But I learned from stubble back December. And i know that milestones can be a trigger for me and apparently him ( though i did not think he was day counting) But at the same time milestones are a very big motivator for me.
So Even though sometimes it would be nice to drown out the noise. Nothing good ever came out of that. But I do find it is good for me to omit, to myself. Yes, I want a drink, hell I want lots of them.
But, NO!! I will not, can not! As I don’t have many sobers left in me. and I definitely don’t want to go back to day one, two… It is way too hard!!!
Battling that alcohol demon every minute, every hour of the day. Now, I don’t have but a few thoughts pop in my head through out the day. And, I’m able to quickly dismiss. But I also know that I have to stay on guard for those moments when I have to battle them.
So for now, I continue to learn to find other ways to relax and get away from adulting (why? was I in such hurry to be adult, lol. So, much wasted on childhood and youth, like all that unseemliness amount of energy)
I spend my time gardening, go for walk, puzzling or simply just enjoy sitting peacefully and listening to the world around me with hot coffee or chocolate.
I dodge a bullet with my health. Thought for sure my liver was doomed. Had bad bloodwork in the past and then avoided the doctor because I didn’t /won’t stop drinking. But I have another chance no sign of liver problems this time.
I intend continue my sober journey and live my best life alcohol demon free. I look forwarded to exceeding my 76 day mark. And celebrating my 90 day of freedom from my . But for now I will just focus on today and live my best life, alcohol free 
!
Thank you, for being there and supporting me. Along with many other. I truly mean that!
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