I am encouraged by the accountability that is demonstrated by posting here when one relapses.
I am discouraged when failure is normalized. I am discouraged when people who relapse do not try those things that are shown to keep us sober. What you are trying isn’t working.
I am discouraged when relapsers relapse, because alcoholism and drug addiction WILL kill you on a whim, at a moment’s notice, with no warning and without intention. It’s serious shit.
I went 18 years from my first AA meeting until permanent sobriety. Most of that time I was alone in my struggle. I made some attempts, from feeble to half hearted.
I never relapsed or slipped. I wasnt f*ing done drinking. I denied to myself that I was an alcoholic who could not control his drinking. And when I stopped kidding myself, my prayer every day was that I hoped I could get away with it one more time.
The concept of relapse, to me, is a bogus fiction. It’s not like typhoid fever that we are exposed to through random fate. Every goddamn time I drank I chose to do it, even when I didn’t intend to, even when I didn’t want to do it.
I’m afraid that the approach of “Oops I slipped, I just have stay away from that friend and try harder” will kill you. Suddenly and messily, or it might take decades.
Get busy getting sober. Do whatever it takes. If you get drunk, admit that you don’t know WTF you’re doing and get help.
I’m not sure why this sets me off so. I’ve been sober a long time and I take my sobriety seriously. EDIT Maybe the relapse talk frightens me by reminding me just how it was so awful for so long for me.
Well obviously this stirs something up inside you. Perhaps sitting with those feelings might perk something up to the top of your psyche to explain your negative reaction to other people’s process.
Sadly, we cannot cajole, threaten, explain or coddle anyone into getting sober. We each get there, or not, on our own. It is 100% our own responsibility. I do not take it personally when folks don’t take my advice on recovery, because I am only an expert on what works for me and we are all just where we are at.
I understand wanting the best for people and knowing that alcohol and drugs can kill us at any minute, but I am kind of baffled at folks that keep banging their heads on the walls because addicts don’t take their advice.
Thank ya kindly ma’am. It did stir me, I agree 100% with you on the inability to use logic on a spiritual problem. I do have a depth of feeling about this!
I’m up 25 pounds, completely relate. I keep failing and am really hoping this will finally be it. Everyday now I wrote down reasons to not drink, how it ruins everything in my life and makes nothing better.
This isn’t correct. I’ve worked hard for my sobriety and I’ll keep doing all I can to not add a relapse to my story. It doesn’t have to be a part of anyone’s story. Strength and serenity.
Congratulations on your sobriety. I’m not referring to relapse. I’m referring to the desire to stop drinking and failing attempts to try to stop. Those who are truly alcoholic can not just choose not to drink and never drink again. It’s not that simple.
I’ve just completed Day 1 after my first reset. I’m heartened by all the support on here. I got a bit jittery by other comments saying resetting isn’t to be normalized because I don’t believe anyone thinks that. We’re just here to support each other. Whatever your addiction we can conquer it together.
I’m sorry, so are you saying that there are those who are not truly alcoholic on here?!
Are you trying to say that @jimmy7-30-17 or my struggles with alcohol are not real?!
I think that you ought to have a read into people’s history on here! Or actually read around more on here and try to understand that it takes more than just not drinking!
The attitude to keep on resetting yesterday was because some people aee it as part of recovery. And the attitude of a lot of people’s posts seemed to be making light of it. Which is frustrating for those who are working hard, but still get the urges. Hey it’s summer time. Who wouldn’t love a lovely pint eh?
It should be looked at in the opposite light. Yes it can take a while for a person to find a way to stop, god knows it took me nearly 2 years before this time.
But just abstaining from drinking is not going to work for many people. There is a lot of hard work and pain involved. Some peoples journeys seem easier, but that is because they have been prepared to put the work in.
Stay safe!
I just have the feeling that this thread encourages a reset rather than avoiding it. By the mentality of “tomorrow is another day…” you are not grabbing the problem by the root. For me I had to change more than just resetting my counter. Everybody ultimately is different and there are different ways to sobriety. I wish you all good luck in your different paths
Being passionate about sobriety is a gift you have.