Scare of my life today but everything’s fine!

Trigger warning: health issues and health anxiety/trauma

Just need to vent about my day

Yesterday I started having shaking in my left arm and it progressed to pain, hand weakness, and tingling. I started panicking because I have panic disorder of course so figured I’d take my medication and see if it all calmed down because maybe it was panic manifesting in my body but in the back of my mind I thought something was up. The meds didn’t work to take the arm issues away and just lowered my heart rate so I got more scared because I thought I had done it. I had done enough whippets to start nerve damage.

I went to the ER, they did tests but after waiting 6 hours and never seeing anyone, I left figuring if it got worse I’d go back or call 911 since I live 2 minutes from the hospital. I decided to see what some sleep would do for me. I woke up today and the pain was worse so I went to urgent care thinking they could actually see me and figure it out based on the tests done in the er hours earlier.

They came back though and thought I had a blood clot which scared the everliving hell out of me because I have had 2 pulmonary embolisms before and almost died from them and am therefore a higher risk for them now and obviously scared to death of them. (Also scared when I hear clots because they did so many tests on me when I had them, that the doctor told me I’m guaranteed to get breast cancer at this point but that’s a story for another day) Thank the universe though it wasn’t that! But. because of whippet use, they made me go back to the emergency room and told me to stay through the wait to get checked out because it was looking like nerve damage if it’s not a clot and that’s a ticking clock.

I rush myself over to the emergency room once again balling my eyes out, blood pressure through the roof and after 4 hours of waiting, I was seen by this guy who looked just like Sean Astin who told me he doesn’t know why urgent care put the fear of god in me about the nerve damage because from his assessment, I messed up my rotator cuff. He thinks that’s whats causing pain and possibly pinched a nerve explaining literally everything. He said he doesn’t think it has anything to do with whippets and gave me a course of steroids and sent me on my way. I was a little stunned that it could be something so simple and also skeptical still, what if he missed something and what if I’ve really caused damage to myself? But I’m going with the rotator cuff path for now and hopefully the steroids help and I’m all set.

It was such a rollercoaster though from omg I did too much that one time a few weeks ago when my lips turned blue and have permanent damage from that now, to, nope I have another blood clot that is close to my heart and that will kill me and then another turn to, oh god, back to nerve damage and ending on the loop with rotator cuff.

I’m so thankful that it is that and nothing more but because of my health trauma I am scared that they missed something and that maybe I did hurt my body with whippets and they don’t see it. I’m taking this though as the universe teaching me a lesson like Scrooge being visited by the ghost of Christmas future to show me if I backslide, that’s where I could find myself and instead of rotator cuff issues, it could be nerve damage for real. I imagine my Nana looking down on me wanting to hit me with a wet noodle because I went off the deep end with whippets like this for having my first Christmas without her and not wanting to experience that.

Today I am going on day 4 without them and I feel great about that and that I don’t have nerve issues and that I have gotten my sign I think, from my Nana to cut the sh*t and live for her not almost kill myself because I miss her.

Grief and depression for my Nana drove me to the excessive whippets but now the love for my Nana and not wanting to disappoint her and my Papa, will help keep me on this path to a nitrous free life like I had before.

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I am no specialist on whippets use and its consequences. And I have no idea of your personal circumstances, how much you used and how often, for how long, your general health and more.

I do work as a nurse in a detox facility and we do get some people addicted to nitrous oxide use admitted. People who used big amounts over long amounts of time. The most common bad effect I see (after long term intensive use) is nerve damage cause by vitamin B12 depletion. B12 we need to supplement by injection for quite a while as it’s important stuff to keep your body (and your nervous system especially) running.

So maybe it’s worth asking your family doctor (or the ER or Urgent Care you were) if they did bloodwork on you, including vit B12. I don’t want to scare you and like I said, I have no idea how much how often for how long you used the stuff. Vit B12 deficiency only happens after prolonged intensive use.

For some more information, and the difference between short time and and long term side effects, see: Nitrous oxide – uses, impacts and risks - Alcohol and Drug Foundation

All Success to you!

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A couple of years ago, I had a fall working during an ice storm. Long story short I spent months with horrible arm pain, burning and tingling in my hand, and a twitching pinky finger that wouldn’t go away and was driving me nuts even when I was trying to sleep. Turns out I tore my rotator cuff and there was a nerve trapped a little bit because of the inflammation. Anyways I had shoulder surgery to fix everything and haven’t had a problem since. So to ease some of your anxiety, that type of injury can mimic those symptoms. With that being said, take this scare as a warning sign anyway and stop doing what you’re doing, otherwise next time you might have real reason to be panicked. Hope you feel better. :v::green_heart:

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Day 4 that’s good, keep going you are strong enough to get through this.
This is very scary, and is and insight to if you continue to use what lays ahead for your future. You have the chance now to prevent this and your already doing it, 4 days is amazing.
:people_hugging:

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