Scared of being judged

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Hi everyone, im new here and don’t really know how to start…so im just going to say what is in my mind…
It’s really hard for me to stay sober…im afraid that without amphetamine people dont like me no more… i guess im really weak without it… :sleepy:

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Welcome to our TS family. I found loving myself very difficult after getting clean. I learned from others to look in the mirror every day and say you look beautiful. It sounds silly but it seems to work. I’m not totally there yet but I’m getting better each day.

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Hi, and welcome! Glad you came to share. This is a safe place to do that, nobody is here to judge you, many of us are going through the same things or very similar. You’re not alone, far from it!

It’s really easy to take on a negative view of ourselves, especially those of us struggling with addiction. Often this is rooted in fear or shame. Thankfully other people tend to have a more neutral or positive view, and I’ve found as I progress in recovery I learn more about myself, good and bad, and start to become more confident in who I am and how I interact with people. It takes time, though.

The first step is just to get sober and do what it takes to stay that way. Truth bomb: not everyone will like you, but plenty of people will still like you even without amphetamine. So you just have to get through that fear and relearn through experience how to interact sober. Sobriety and time.

Sobriety is the harder of those two, so it’s good you’re seeking support for it. Other members here might have tips for you on how to get going with it. One day at a time!

Edit: I just made a thread about learning to appreciate ourselves and I wonder if the exercise I wrote about there will help you. Here it is if you want to check it out: What do you like about yourself?

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Thank you for the nice words. I will try to do my best.
I think that i did never really loved myself…i was just more selfsure and happy when i had my Rush…plans words, jokes, everything came in a second…i think that my biggest fear is to not be enough or be boring for others…

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Thank you very much for the warm and kind words. I will try ti do my best…

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Thanks for the new thread @ifs. I’m gonna check it out. I didn’t see it earlier.

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Thank you :slightly_smiling_face: i really hope you’re right about that :+1:t2:

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It’s been true for me, and I’ve seen it happen for many others :slight_smile:

Just don’t leave before the miracle happens! (I think that gem of a saying is from AA/NA but I could be wrong).

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I’m still thinking but there is at the moment nothing that i like about myself…i try to avoid these days direkt contact to people, because i feel that i have nothing to give, even my Aura energy is sad or angry, exhausted… today i lied again to my boyfriend…we supposed to meet but i am so empty and afraid i will mess up this relationship too… hope tomorrow I will feel better.:pray:t2:

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You only need to be enough for you!

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Thank you! I will keep that in mind :+1:t2:

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It is good to think about, but not necessary, and don’t stress if you can’t think of anything right now.

Have you considered an NA meeting? They really help a lot of people and I find being around other people is good for me when I’m getting lost in negative thoughts in my own mind, even though it’s uncomfortable. You would owe the people absolutely nothing, and not even have to speak if you don’t want to. My understanding is that it’s like AA, which in my experience people there really get it (including the anxiety about first meetings), and they know it’s not all puppies and flowers, and it is such an encouragement to see new faces there. The room lights up and I can pretty much hear people cheering internally to themselves that someone has taken that step to get support.

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I thought about it…but i cant bring myself to it… this is why I tried this topic/app.

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Nothing wrong with that. It was just an idea I had. As long as you get a sober strategy that works for you! I had to escalate mine to include things I didn’t want to do when I relapsed, but not everyone has to. A lot of people seem to just use this forum. It’s not a law of physics but I have noticed lots of people that participate consistently over significant periods of time seem to make progress overall.

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I am really grateful for all your help and support :pray:t2:

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It’s most probably the amtheamipines that’s making you feel this way,I know as I used to use on for a very long time paranoia is the no 1 side effect along with loss of appetite,try just not picking up today and see how you feel tomorrow,I’d hope with each day clean you will find out that the paranoia subsides and you start to see things for what they really are,keep reaching out your in the right place

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Yes you’re right, i took speed over one year, almost everyday…this week was Monday the last time i took it. Everything is so strange… mostly my thoughts.
Thank you for your help and time!

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No worries pls remember that when ya feeling these thoughts and thinking ppl are looking judging ,know that it’s in ya head speed/base it a horrid drug and your better off free off it keep sharing keep reading ,find some inner peace you deserve it.xx

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Now im sure that im in the right place! Thank you from deep inside :heart::pray:t2:

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You are in the right place to start. Bc theres always someone here that knows what you’re going thru. I struggled with adderall for almost 20 years, on and off. And I know coming off of them was torturous. Especially when I was using high doses. I’d either feel extremely sad/depressed or I’d feel absolutely nothing. Sleep helps, since you’ve probably deprived yourself of it for some time. It gets better. The grey cloud eventually lifts :sunny:

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