Any other relapse’s here? I know what it takes. Meetings sponsers and the work. But the idea of the first year is terrifying. However, I’m heading towards a crash of destruction and honestly need to get my head out of my ……
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Don’t do a year. Do a day. That’s all you have to do. Don’t think about the future. Think five minutes at a time. Spend time here or other safe places when you need to:
There’s a deep, inner element to addiction too though. You gotta dig into your core to unpack it. One day at a time, still - don’t try to think about everything at once - but it does take effort.
That’s what programs are for. As you say, “meetings sponsors and the work”. Sounds like you know what you need to do 
www.AA.org is a good one; there are others too. At this point it sounds like making a change is what you want.
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Meetings Sponsor is what i did got on the program and i had the desire and made the effort and its worked for 36 plus years no relapses . be brave want it do it and it will work wish you well
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Welcome back! Another idea, get active here! It really helped me.