It sounds like your heading in the right direction, I’m happy for you. 
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Hey RBG, 100% had a similar set of experiences with women in the workplace and in social settings about a month or so in. I try to be mindful of the energy now.
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I envy you mate. I’ve stopped watching porn, however I’m powerless over wanking.
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Continuing my story while in a moment of vulnerability, I’m currently in my personal sauna. I haven’t used this since last winter. I’m going to go immediately from here into a cold shower. I’ll call it going nuclear, as it should knock the anxiety out cold. The outside temp is 36 F, so you can guess how cold the water will be. My back is hurting. My belly is upset. I’m tired, but I know I won’t be able to sleep. I’m well aware of the danger. This is when I previously would be turning to my doc. But not this time. I’m done with that.
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Hey buddy, are you going to meetings? Lots of amazing recovery in the rooms of saa.
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Thank you. That didn’t work for me, but I’m glad for those that are helped by it.
In what way did the meetings not work for you m8? I’m genuinely curious and not trying to be funny with you.
Have you ever heard of smart recovery? I would imagine it could be of benefit with regards to your addiction.
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I really appreciate you being here and supporting me. I don’t want to use this thread to discuss that though. I’m doing what I think will work for me and I know it is working.
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I wasn’t trying to question of its working for your not was I trying to criticise you for not going to the meetings, it just interested me as I go to NA meetings at which I imagine the dynamic is completely different to sa meetings. I guess that I was just wondering if they worked in a different manner.
I have no doubt that you are doing everything that you can do win over your addiction on a daily basis.
No offence intended
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I almost can’t believe it, but I can’t keep denying that since sobriety day one, normal episodes of anxiety have decreased steadily. Anxiety that would normally occur and cause me to turn to my doc has decreased. This is quite remarkable and indicates that acting out was causing more anxiety than it was relieving. Especially in recent days, I have felt more serenity than usual despite an episode here and there. The evidence points to the conclusion that I never needed my doc, and it was doing more harm than good.
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The realization that PMO was doing more harm than good is liberating. I’m 22 days sober and serene. I have my mind back. Life is exquisite.
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I like the idea of no phone on me. Kinda embarrassing, but upon going into treatment I was so pissed I had to give up my phone. It turned out to be my most peaceful three weeks since childhood!
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10 Reasons I won’t fap today
- It always lets me down. Today will be no different.
- I’ve been sober for 22 days, and I feel great. Obviously I don’t need it.
- It’s counterfeit and artificial and can never substitute for the real thing.
- I have other healthy ways of dealing with anxiety.
- It sends my mind to dark places.
- It actually increases anxiety.
- It saps my energy.
- I really want to just be happy and fulfilled. Fapping won’t give me that.
- I like being in control of my body.
- I want to have a healthy appreciation of women.
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It’s day 23, and I’m feeling strong in every way. With the anxiety absent, there is still the temptation to act out. I recognize this as a normal aspect of physical maturity. I won’t indulge, because I know where that road leads. I’m the boss now, and I can do what I want.
It’s the end of day 23. I feel impervious, impenetrable serenity. I wonder what Sober Time has left for me. I wonder what is next. It seems like the time to close this thread. In the end, it was really just for me. But I like to think that someone might come along some day and be helped by it. Whatever your struggle, never give up. By not giving up, no matter how many times you fall, you win by default.
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hey @RBG please don’t close the thread.
it is valuable and helpful.
I’m at day 21 and it seems to be getting harder.
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I changed my personal phone down to a flip phone. One of the best decisions I ever made.
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Don’t close the thread. You’re right that it will be useful for someone else down the road. Thanks!
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Hey Matt, since you don’t have a smartphone, I assume you must access TS via the website on a PC.
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I actually primarily use my work phone and work tablet (both smart mobile devices), which are owned and monitored by my company. For me personally this has been working for me over the last few weeks.
Where I have been having trouble has been my personal laptop. I am planning this week to box it up and if I need to use a computer I’ll use a library computer, or the office computers at my company.
I am starting to think about my boundaries, and what I need in order to be the self I want to be. I am feeling a lot of learning these weeks. I will be posting about it & I’m looking forward to hearing opinions and feedback. 
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