You got me there. I usually act under stress, depression, anxiety and sudden happiness. This is probably I usually don’t feel the urge all the time, but specific moments. I ve been also acting just with my mind and I m normally away from it when focussed on something else is work
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Oh man. It is hard. I ve postponed visiting a specialist so many times, because I always thought I m stronger than my addiction. But years later I m sure I can’t fight this without help. Have you tried visiting a specialist? If you don’t mind, how old are you? We need to use all weapons against it. Focus on creative hobbies, take trips, visit specialists. All the best and keep us informed
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Oh man thank you so much. I m in deep s…t
I m trying to keep myself occupied. Thank god I have lots of work these days. I also at times think I m not worth thing. Depression is taking over me right now. I ll just wait to see the specialist tonight. Good advice about house cleaning by the way. Big hugs mate, big hugs to all of you
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Thank you dearly for your writing. I feel for you, sounds complicated too. You have a great point on focusing on getting yourself together.
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That’s a question and a half haha. I believe addiction or habits are almost a necessity but there are healthier ways to fill gaps and worse ways. I also think some people have bigger holes to fill, which require bigger things maybe. Substances and mind altering states (sex) do that. It’s a long convoluted issue for sure, but when what was a crutch or a small need or a social enjoyment becomes damaging, it’s time to fill the gaps with something new and as we all seem to understand that’s bloody tough, we have to give up a companion, not only is there a chemical addiction (yes sex too) but we grieve for something lost a friend of sorts. How to fill our lives with enough stuff to keep straight… Well that’s the 500 trillion dollar question and a big part of why we are all here I guess…
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I don’t wanna sound rude or anything, I’m just being curious… but how does the mind of a sex addict looks like? Do ya’ll have the desire to have sex for the whole time or going to prostitutes or masturbate a lot on a day? I mean, sex is an important thing in life, everybody needs it. But when does sex become a real problem to a person?
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I’m 40. I’ve tried counseling, Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery, prayer, religion, books, giving up. None of these things have worked for me. In the past I have suffered profound anxiety and even panic due to my addiction. This motivated me to seek help, but that motivation did not carry me far enough. People that I looked to for help and support disappointed me. That crashed my recovery. I went through a long period of depression as well. I have learned some things that help and some things that don’t, at least for me. In fairness, everyone’s sexual addiction is unique in my opinion. So I think we each have to find our own unique formula for recovery. I too have thought that I’m stronger than my addiction. I’m reconsidering that notion in favor of “I’m smarter than my addiction.” Hobbies are a great tool. Distraction is a useful technique. But this always breaks down for me.
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In general, I don’t think we have constant sexual desire. But I’ll tell you about me and let others answer for themselves. I don’t have control over my body. So even if I can manage not to act out by doing other things instead, like work, the desire remains waiting. And it overcomes me when I am vulnerable, when I’m alone and mentally exhausted, bored, etc. Triggers are all over, usually visual. If I go shopping, I might see something that wouldn’t trigger sexual desire for the average person, but for me it does. It’s a problem when it prevents me from seeking and developing healthy relationships or destroys relationships. It’s a problem when it causes anxiety and depression. It’s a problem when it changes my attitude, personality, or mood. It’s a problem when it prevents me from focusing on something more rewarding like learning to play an instrument or studying a language. Thanks for the question. I appreciate your curiosity.
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Ahhhh I see! You still have a lot in common like me. Only with a different addiction. it’s crazy how many addictions there are right? I mean, sex is a normal thing and “better” than a substance… but it still can have a whole impact on your life when you’re addicted.
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I have tested my vulnerability to alcohol. I will even admit that I had thoughts of trying to substitute alcoholism for sex addiction, not that I really thought it was possible or worthwhile. But I seem to be immune to that one. That’s interesting also. Yeah, the fact that sex is normal, that it is a necessary party of our existence, makes it very tricky and stubborn as an addiction. The chemicals that serve as “dope” for me are already in me.
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Yes true, no matter how you look at it, an addiction is an addiction!
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Studies have shown in those with sex/porn addiction the brain is changed in very similar ways to those with heroin addiction. As an active addict for some 30 years and now sober 4+ years I started off with magazines saying I would never do… then would do… and saying I would never do the next thing only to eventually do that too.
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I know where you’re coming from! Addictions are “strange” diseases and difficult to understand sometimes… especially for the people who aren’t addicts but also for us too!
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Exactly… 
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Wow you must have gone through a hell also in the past, but I’m sure it made you a lot stronger and wiser right now! You’re definitely a warrior, and I’m proud of you of how you’re looking at things right now. You can be very proud of yourself lady!
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Absolutely and thank you… 
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I really admire your courage and point of view
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Yes, I so much agree. Thing is, we have to answer why we choose to fill the gaps with harmful habits or habits that don’t actually make us feel better and that we constantly regret. And of course how we find ways to replace them with something healthy and rewarding
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Well I guess every case is different and progression can take place. For me it has been porn and mstb once or sometimes twice a day and prostitutes two to three times a month. I ve often tried to use porn in order to avoid visiting prostitutes. Also I might find myself thinking and fantasizing about it, often in a day.
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