Well put, sounds very similar to what I ve been going through. I can get triggers from all sorts of things and often not expected ones. Again, the trouble isn’t porn, isn’t masturbation nor prostitutes all by itself. But it is great trouble when these habits interfere with your life, your own personal beliefs, your work your relationships and of course your health. In some way it can be similar to other addictions. It’s perhaps ok to drink a can of beer every other night, but becomes trouble if you do it 6 times a day
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I ve thought about it a lot to the extent that I thought it might have been better if I was alcoholic, but I now understand there’s no better or worse addiction, you can perhaps destroy your life by just being addicted to anything
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No need to apologize dear
Just a small update. I visited a specialist yesterday for the first time in my life. I had an one hour session where I shared my story with him, I got emotional, I cried and I felt sorry for myself and so humiliated. In the end it kind of felt good… We agreed to meet once a week, he gave me some homework and he advised me to start some short of physical exercise and try not hating myself for what I ve been doing, because there is always some reason behind this, that we will need to uncover. That’s it for now folks.
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I hope this is a success. Does this person specialize in sexual addiction?
Yeah any addiction just sucks no matter what your addiction is… but luckily it doesn’t have to be a life sentence as long as we become and stay sober
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Keep connected,reach out on here when I need support.sign in daily and seek help to unpick and try to work out some of the reasonings behind your addiction,I wish I all the best.xx
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That is a huge step in turning thing’s around… 
Expert advice there from your Dr if I ever heard any because guilt doesn’t create a positive atmosphere which is needed in getting better… Understanding your actions can harm you and the ones you love and getting to the bottom of what might trigger these things will… 
You can tell me to go kick rocks if you want to, I’ll understand 
but if you’re ever bored the Book of David in the King James Version tells a great story of a man who had it absolutely made, was chosen by God to rule and have all the wives he wanted, Dude had like 7 but King David chose to take the wife of another man who only had one because he was king and had the authority to do so… The man was a soldier and King David sent him away on the front line knowing he would be killed and he could take his wife without looking bad about it… Well thing’s didn’t go well for him afterwords… Sadly it took a pretty eye opening event to occur before he would put one foot forward and make change in his life that he needed to… David ended up repenting and God kept his word to David… Why??? Because God loved him, God personally chose him by his heart, not his size… He was hand picked to rule over the sons of King’s in line to rule… I don’t think he was ever free of his problems but he learned from them… It’s an interesting read anyways… 
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greymook explained it pretty well it’s a addiction when it’s protect or backup a need you not furfilling. As If im tired I would think about it. I’m stress I will think about it. Like a exaust to the problem. I for myself if I always go there I will never treated the problem or even find a better way to do the thing I’m escaping. Im switching a lot between alcool cyber and sex. I can control alcohol but the other 2 are way harder for me.
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I’vee been reading your story with interest and want to offer you some words of encouragement for accepting that this problem is too much for you to face alone. It may not feel like it but you’ve achieved so much in doing that. Can I recommend you look up the book Breaking The Cycle by George Collins. I cannot stress enough how valuable this book can be as part of your overall recovery, particularly as you set out.
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As my wife and I were struggling to build a new marriage together after it was decimated by my addiction, we read After the Affair together. We took notes in the margins and each had our own color highlighter to call out elements that spoke to us. My wife would also write questions in the margins that I would have the opportunity to read and respond to later. It really helped us. The whole book want relevant to our situation and I admit we never finished it. But it helped us communicate and talk about what had happened.
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Yes he does, but deals with other issues and addictions as well
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Thank you so much I will go and get the book
best of luck to you. I’m in a similar boat
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Your welcome. Sending positive vibes your way man.
Best of luck and strength
Just need to say thanks to all replies, I am much obliged and thankful. I m approaching first month being sobber and today I ve felt some urge to find some sexual relief for the first time these latest days. Trouble with sexual addiction is that you ve become addicted to something otherwise normal. But how do we keep it under “normal” frequency is the tough question. I m right now thinking I should not have sex at any form at all for a while… Which feels not normal at the same time… And when can you say… masturbate again with safety that you will not fall into addiction again… Oh this is getting complicated in my mind. I mean can an alcoholic have a can of beer with his stake ever again? It’s probably not the same thing but sounds similar to my questioning.
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Pray! 
Ask divine help to guide you towards getting some help. We cannot overcome addictions on our own. I have a lot of hope for you. I am confident prayer will help, if you’re willing.
Hey @Geotzo, I think for many of us with this addiction it becomes a reckoning when we realize we can’t dabble, we can’t sip, we have to dive in fully.
Personally, a large part of my sobriety has come from developing a disgust toward porn. Cerebrally, I hate it, yet from a basic reactionary level, it’s what I crave. That’s why I’m working ever single day to decide I don’t need to crave it. I don’t need that one vice. Instead, maybe I crave to go on a strenuous hike? Maybe I crave an intense movie-going experience (with minimal to no sexual themes)? See what I’m getting at?
I think a challenge with the path to sobriety is understanding what it is to want to be sober. For me, being sober means I want to have no urge to watch porn again. Probably an impossible task, but I’ll never stop trying to find alternate sources of real happiness that can become more valuable to me than the farce that porn truly is.
I’m done with the fake world. I’m done with falling in love with flashing lights for minutes, hours at a time. I hate it. I hate that it stole my respect for women, and I hate that I fell for it so hard. I’ve developed a genuine disgust with the idea of me watching porn, and the thought of masturbation has honestly sort of just disappeared. In my case I believe now it is a porn addiction more than a PMO addiction. That said, each beget the others.
Sorry for the ramble, just got me thinking here. I 100% understand the need to think about natural and healthy sex and what that means to an addict. I’m not sure there is a similar equivalent with something like alcohol, in which case social drinking is still in many ways something alcoholics have to avoid, due to the same slippery slope principle.
Good thoughts to chew on. How do we discover/rediscover healthy and human sex? What is healthy sexual behavior? For many, it’s informed from religious belief, or cultural stigma. For me it’s mostly the sense of empty space I feel. The absense of something beautiful, that is surrounded by lust.
I want to love someone. And that want is larger than the want for porn. It’s exactly because of that that I know now I can only love someone if I forego the easy high of porn. I can only find the lasting stuff if I am forever cutoff from the ephemeral shit.
Dang that’s a rant right there. Sorry bout that!
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Hi @Geotzo, welcome! I’m Matt and I am a recovering sex addict too. I believe I can hear how heartbroken you are about this. I promise you it gets better. You are seeing someone, and that is a very important early step. Stick with it and I promise you, I promise, you will learn how to have a healthy life, in a way that works for you. Keep in touch with us here and we will travel this road together 