Thank you Mike. I feel very down
Thank you. Sometimes I feel evil and I am very sad because I offended a Lord so Good
1 Like
Hi Bomdhil, just think, you can start over on a clean slate and take it seriously from now on to never offend the Lord again. And if you obey, you get grace to do the impossible! To crush each lust!
1 Like
When God sees that I am serious, then He is serious to give me all the power I need to get victory.
My mind is a lot clearer after just 2.90 days of being sober - I could work like a machine at work today and didnât have as many self-defeating thoughts. I sense that God is with me and He is pleased with me for standing just 2.90 days!
I want to preserve this life and continue on this way of purity and sobriety. I am becoming serious about winding down at 8:30pm and shutting down my laptop and phone then, then I take a shower (hygiene), read a book - the Bible or another spiritual book or write in my Journal. Then at 10pm I am in bed already. Before going to bed I will pray that the Lord help me to stay sober.
When I was not sober I had very little care for personal hygiene, sometimes I would not shower and not brush my teeth - perhaps this is because when one is not sober - one feels like crap and has so much self-loathing. Sometimes I would feel like I wished I were dead (when I was not sober) I hated my life, also the smallest thing at work or at home that ticked me off would become a huge issue and mental barrier - often leading to self-pity and another fall (as one SA Sex addicts Anonymous group in Ohio reffers to as âan ACT OF SELF-DESTRUCTIONâ not just a slip or a fall or stuffing up - whatever you wanna call it - call it what it is âan ACT OF SELF-DESTRUCTIONâ.)
When I am sober, I look after my body - keep it clean, I also excercise and have more drive at work. When I am not sober I have brain fog - I donât even want to get out of bed and I am often late for work. This is part of Satans plan to destroy you - he wants to entice you to look at porn and masturbate so that he can accuse you afterwards - then when he accuses you - you would like to go and commit suicide - that is if you donât take up the sword of the spirit which is the word of God and fight back! Sin ends in death!
Yesterday I listened to an SA chat on YouTube - one guy mentioned that his brother died of HIV AIDS - that is a result of sin and this destructive addiction. If I do not take it seriously with my eyes / thoughts - I may not have had sex with a woman physically before (I am still a virgin) but if I let it progress, God will remove His grace from me and I may just commit an act of SELF(and anothers) destruction and commit adultery - which the Bible says - those who commit adultery shall not inherit the kingdom of heaven! Check it out for yourself!
Sinners can get forgiveness, but you canât go back! You canât go and undo what you have done - if you have had sex, you canât ever get back your virginity (although God can do a miracle and you can get a purified heart and mind).
I am determined to break this habit I have been addicted to for over 20years!
Letâs be faithful! Let us be sober this minute, this hour, this day, this week, this month, this year! That is my goal! I want to enter heaven as a pure soul who crushed the flesh in the blood of my fury and trampled sin and Satan under my feet! I want to enter the Kingdom of God as a warrior, not as one who just never changed, not as a defeated man and a slave of sin.
It is possible to live an entirely new life! I am convinced of it. I am not far on this way - but at least I can say - I am sober for 2.90 days!
Pray for me I will pray for you.
1 Like
Hey guys,
Iâm on 5.90 days and feeling great, no temptations at all!! It is my first serious attempt of getting of this disgusting stuff. Everytime I have the slightest naughty thoughts I take a few seconds intentionally thinking about the benefits vs the bad effects and Iâm good. Working great so far. I know more difficult times will come, but I am aiming for 14 days now! We can do it!!
3 Likes
Praying for you
Nearly at day 20, got tempted a few times this week but stopped myself and took deep breaths.
Keep going! Itâs worth it.
Breathing exercises are great! I am working on one where you breathe out shame and anxiety and breathe in the compassion of your higher power.
1 Like
Same issue for me. I work on the computer all day, so I researched tools I use to help avoid accidents. Qustudio is a free phone app that blocks porn. K9 web protection does the same on a computer. I have those installed on all of my devices. They are built for parents to protect their kid, but I use it to protect myself. If youâre really good with computers, you can find a way around them. I donât use a filter as a crutch, because I donât intentionally try to break it & then blame it for my relapse. I use it to avoid accidentally coming across something which then gets it into my mind & makes you want more. When Iâve decided I really need a fix, the filter wonât stop me because Iâll be too determined. Instead, I need to snap out of it by exercising or calling a friend/etc. Iâve still had mistakes since installing these filters, but itâs less often. Also, when installing it wants you to set an admin password. I used my normal password for a few weeks until I got all the settings correct & knew it wouldnât get in my way when doing legitimate work. After that, I switched it to a randomly generated password & i put the password reset under my wifeâs email account/phone (Iâve been honest with her about my addiction since we started dating), it prevents me from just putting in a password to disable the filter for an hour & then turning it back on, because I know if I choose to act out sheâll see that I did a password reset with her email/phone.
God bless us all in our recovery.
2 Likes
Keep it up @Anon1 @Mike @Yan-a
Thanks for your prayers! I have just hit 4 days of being sober.
I have found that by being very conscious of the time helps me and also knowing when my body is slipping into that âzombie modeâ when you feel lethargic and just wanna âwatch a quickâ youtube video for entertainment - meantime itâs way past your bedtime or you could use that time for doing something meaningful. The heart of man is deceitfully wicked - who can know it!
My days are so super busy at work - I build websites and do graphic design - all day on the computer - so when I get home itâs good to go for a walk and also what I am learning is not to give others ALL my time - as we do need time to wind down before bed - read the Bible / Pray / just meditate. I find others would like to take all my time because I am talented with graphic design / web, music etc etc, so if I let them they could consume my entire day - but I have to not be such a people pleaser and learn to say âNo!â I know I need to be in bed by 10:00 so if work is going to take me late into the night e.g: 1/2am - then I have to say no! By 1/2 am or even 11:00am or earlier - I am totally not wide awake and can commit âan act of self-destructionâ so better to be aware of my body - how I feel and my mindset and time - then I can avoid an unnecessary fall! âFLEE youthful lustsâ - that is what Godâs word says - so what does FLEE mean to you? Get as close as possible? Watch a raunchy music video? Watch a restricted film that you know could have a sexy scene in it - NOPE! FLEE is to run away and stay as FAAAAR away as possible from sin and things that arouse your lusts! That is what I am practicing!
Goodnight everyone! Letâs make tonight a SOBER one - or if you are on the other side of the world - Good Morning! Have an awesome day and remember to pray without ceasing and in everything give thanks, for this is the will of God for you!
Much love,
I Will Win
Praying for everyone. God has done amazing work in my life when I completely surrender my will to him.
Stay strong.
3 Likes
I didnât really have an addiction, but I stopped porn ( What comes with also ) its day 19 and I struggle a bit because I donât do nothing but itâs great so far 
2 Likes
I want to surrender to Jesus and not to offend Him anymore
1 Like
3 days sober
1 Like
Ok itâs been a rough couple days but I did fall and slip. Whatâs the expression? If you sit in a barber shop long enoughâŚyour gonna get a hair cut. Anyway. Back to day one after making 97. Getting back to the tools for my recoveryâŚhave a safe night everyone.
1 Like
Hey sorry you fell, but I feel your pain. I relapsed after months. Good youâre getting back on track; thatâs the way to go
Thank you so much for your words! They are an inspiration and I will be sure to use your advice going forward. Ten days clean today!!! Thank you for your help.
2 Likes