I don’t know that I should even vote, considering I’ve been out of the dating scene for 17 years so I am a dinosaur from the Pre-Tinder era 
.
But, there are so many great people on this app and if they have been sober for enough time that dating is an option, I think it would be cool to be able to be on a dating site where you know everyone is sober.
5 Likes
Or you think we know are sober. Ive seen people claim they are in sobriety but are in denial. Just alot of sucessful quiters are just more honest with themselfs and others. A touchy subject in many was…sobriety isnt forever for everyone…
2 Likes
I thought of that same thing you’re saying as I was replying…no way to know if someone is truly sober or just trying to meet people on a sober website. I know people lie on their dating profiles all the time, unfortunately
3 Likes
I haven’t heard ‘blowing trees’ in such a long time. I commend you for using it
1 Like
might be an unkind generalization to make, but i feel it’s real - there are types of guys that will say a lot of absolute bullshit to women to try and get in their pants. folks with substance issues and addictions of any kind aren’t generally known as the most upstanding and honest citizens.
we’ve heard from several women receiving unwanted private messages on this forum (not a dating site) already and it’s likely happened far more than we’ve heard about.
if someone isn’t at a point in their sobriety where their willing to announce such on a dating site perhaps they shouldn’t be encouraged to go out there and date?
as it’s been mentioned our degrees and definitions of sobriety vary greatly here, again - drunks/addicts aren’t known for their honesty.
just seems like it’d easily toxic environment for a lot of people especially women cause again - i’ve worked with and seen some guys that are like sharks to blood in regards to vulnerable women.
those are just my thoughts and i don’t know shit. should such a site be made i won’t be using it but i hope nothing but the best for everyone who chooses to 
2 Likes
in addition to that - look how many married guys are already surfing tinder and other dating sites, i mean, do we really expect that they’ll have the moral compass to consider trying to get laid by vulnerable women as “off limits”? i’m guessing that wouldn’t exactly be the case unfortunately.
2 Likes
Don’t be kidding @DowntroddenGoat. We lawyers are insufferable. Seriously, in law school they brainwash you into thinking you are better than people and have this great Civic responsibility. I hated the better than people thing, but I did buy into Civic responsibility, which is why I focused my career on public interest law. Greatest thing I ever did until my addiction robbed me of any ability to function in the real world. Now that I’m getting some clean time I’m going to start focusing on being a drug and alcohol counselor.
4 Likes
Not to be argumentative, but it can go both ways. There’s this girl that literally follows me to my normal meetings and is pretty damn agressive. She also has a boyfriend in recovery. I’ve had to change up my meetings and have a chat with her sponsor. Apparently I’m not the only one she’s tried this with. Hopefully her sponsor can talk some sense into her. Oh and did I mention she’s 13 years younger than me… I was using longer than she’s been alive. Not a great situation all around.
1 Like
agree 100%. could be girl to guy. guy to guy. girl to girl. whatever. the point remains that it’s a predatory person after a vulnerable person.
2 Likes
Yeah I was kind of creeped out. But I was very upfront “I just got out of relationships two weeks ago, I’m not ready sorry.” He got me my coffee. It was kind but I just…ugh…there has been much emotional upset the last few days…its hard moving on but I am determined to stay sober!!!
4 Likes
Next time you have permission to throw that coffee on him… J/k, kinda. We had a guy who kinda focused on the new women to the program. A girls mom warned him one time that if he did again to her daughter she would cut his balls off. Well he ended up doing it to her neice a little while later. Well mama bear came into the meeting the next day and grabbed him by his throat and threatened to kill him. No one stopped her lol and he’s been much better since.
See who says AA has to be dull…
5 Likes
Just a thought; maybe instead of a “sober dating” webpage/application you should look into developing something that allows the sober population in their general area to connect easier and to find a new potential friend.
With options like: “just seeking an online friend”, “female looking for female friend only”, “a friend to go to a meeting with” and “male looking for male friend only”…this could potentially open up outlets to many individuals; especially newly sober people that are busy or have social anxiety when it comes to meeting new people.
＼（○＾ω＾○）／
11 Likes
I like the ‘friends’ idea, I see the word BOREDOM used often, a site to connect people with similar interests of activities might address the boredom.
4 Likes
Eh. Set one up, I say. There’s sites for every sub-culture out there. Straight or LGBT, religious affinity or not, BDSM or not. Fetishes. Why not one for clean and sober seeking clean and sober?
Plus, when someone gets a bit froggy here, they can be pointed there.
Reading all of this, I am even more thankful to be very happily married. Don’t know how I could navigate dating in this age. I am so traditional, a relationship anachronism. I think if I ever found myself single again, I’d just as soon stay unattached and gracefully enter the “get off my lawn” phase of life.
6 Likes
Great idea, the only problem would be if people are lying about there sobriety, but that would be on them I guess, that can be a good place to meet sober people looking for that significant other. That would be a good place where u can send the selfies forum as well.
Exactly! I feel like being only 15 days sober and just getting out of a relationship, I really don’t need to jump into one for a while. I need to figure out my own shit. And AA has always been a place where I feel safe, where everyone’s trying to stay sober and get better. Except that one time. But at least I was very up front with him!!!
2 Likes
Whew I don’t know which way I go on this one. It’s a good idea but at the same time it horrible. In my mind I’m not sure if the good out weighs the bad. I’ve been pretty open with my dating on here and I’ll be the first to admit I made mistakes along the way. At the end of the day Robin if you feel it’s a good investment go for it. If you’re on the fence I’d turn to your higher power. I’ll close with I’d probably check it out if available but I am pretty sure it would not be my thing. Coarse this is coming from the guy who has a Don’t Shit Where You Eat policy.
2 Likes
I think that it has the potential to be dangerous. Not that two ex addicts can’t be together but some people are not as ready as they think they are and then when things wrong they could fall back on using/drinking and then that could affect the other person ECT.
I voted no.
I think the focus needs to be on bettering yourself and growing not trying to connect sexually with other sober people . You don’t have to be with another ex addict to be happy. Not everyone is going to judge you, because if they do then they aren’t right for you.
1 Like