You are right, you do have a problem. You need to get healthy (which means not drinking), so that you can live. Without getting healthy, you will not live. You will just float through life like a ghost.
I understand. But it is not dull. You are conditioned - physically and emotionally - to feel that way, because for your entire teenage and adult life, you have been drinking for the purpose of getting drunk. But for healthy human beings, that is not what life is about.
You want to be healthy. You need help. Have you done some reading about getting healthy? About not drinking? Have you looked for some groups to join?
Welcome to Talking Sober 