Iv always had some form of sedative since 3rd grade when I was prescribed add medication and quickly found out I could abuse it. I love making art and music and when I abused my medication I noticed how much more fun it is high. Soon one couldn’t happen without the other. This lead to trying just about everything I could that made me want to make music or art. I’m now 28 and I’m addicted to alcohol and coke and I’m just tired. I don’t trust myself. If I keep going like this I’m going to end up dead. I want today to be my last rock bottom and I’m just looking to talk to anybody thats like me. That created an identity out of a passion they have that now only can happen when abusing. It feels like the only way to live and be me is by destroying myself.
Hey Cody, I promise you that destroying yourself with drugs and alcohol will not make you anymore creative or talented. It’s actually the quickest way to loose everything that makes you,you.
I’m happy you are here. Try reading a few threads.
The gratitude thread is my favorite. Especially to feel less alone.
There’s not one person here who can’t relate to you. 
Thankyou so much
Try a meeting they helped me wish you well
That is addiction speaking. I do everything i use to love much more efficiently in sobriety. To be quite honest if for some reason you sober up and are not creative anymore you’ll still be better off. I’m glad you’re here, welcome.
Your last line of your post hits home. I felt like that too in the end. Saw no other way than to keep doing what I was doing. I felt like I had tried so many different ways and times to just stop, but couldn’t.
So, I got pushed (legally) to go to treatment or lose everything. Glad I did & it gave me a start to a new way of doing things. I listened, learned, kept being healthy to myself by being on here, going to meetings and helping people like me.
I do better work now, I’m present for those who rely on me and I feel good inside my own skin again every day. There’s hope my friend.
hey my friend ur not alone every morning i wake up i deal with these demons ive been doing drugs since i was in high school i started right off the bat with coke im 35 years old and im doing crystal meth also now this is horrible i also need help
Absolutely hear you on this one. It’s an illusion. Get straight and compare your work sober and twisted. It’s only different, not better. Give the work done sober a fair shake. Give it your best and see what happens.
Finding the passion and drive to make art or simply create something takes hard work. Stephen King said in his book on writing, the little gnomes with the magic fire of inspiration only come when we push ourselves to the limits.
It can be hard to get to that place without chemical motivation, but it can be done. I do it often when I have enough uninterrupted time. This isn’t the place to promote drug use of any kind so I won’t, but honestly a lot of incredible work has been made under the influence of some type of mind body altering substance.
Again though, Motley Crue made Dr. Feelgood sober. Alice Cooper is wildly creative and he has been sober forever.
The magic is still there, you just need to scrape away all the dead skin and scar tissue you’ve covered it up with over the years. It’s a deeply unsettling and painful undertaking but it’s worth it.
What you come away with is a deeper understanding of who you are and what you and your work are about.
Feel free to msg me. This is a topic near and dear to my heart. I’ll help anyway I can.