Im so sick of resetting. Go home, drink…feel like crap. Come to work …day one is no eating…water…anxiety… Day 2 is insomnia, anxiety… Day 3 is fine…eating. better mood. Sleeping. Get out of work… Drink. Im tired of it. Im tired of getting depressed about what the lousy bitch of an ex did to me. And im tired of feeling like Im less of a person. And sick of everything.
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Maybe this thread would help?
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I guess you never think about the consequences before you take that first drink? If your ex is getting to you. Focus that energy on a hobby or set goals you want to accomplish. We can always better ourselves. Apply these feelings u feel now before u buy or drink alcohol… I would suggest trying a meeting.
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I feel like I reset my addiction every 3 days. Hang in there. I need to focus on what I can do so I am starting to go meetings again. I have people that have screwed me over but if I focus on them, then I can’t get better because I can never change them. Even if they need changing.
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i suggest a meeting as i always do ,if your sick of resetting then why not try one see how you get on , wish you well
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The human capacity for pain is mind blowing for me. We all have been through this particular wringer of drinking, withdrawal, recovery and repeating.
Sobriety can turn on the ability to accept the pain and discomfort of facing life without booze being stronger than the ability to climb back in the ring for another beating. I found I could do that, face my day without booze, much better in the company of a higher power and like minded souls. I found these at AA meetings.
Blessings on your house 
.
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Everything already said is wonderful advice! I would like to add how I used my anger to get and stay sober. You are angry at tour ex? You are letting that person win every time you drink. When you feel like drinking, say this out loud… “Fuck you (enter name), I will show you! I don’t need a fucking drink! That’s what you want! You want me to stay weak and broken! I won’t do it anymore!” Haha, you can just say it in your head if you want, but it has so much more power when the words come out of your mouth. There are a million reasons why staying clean is better for you, and there are hundreds of healthier ways to go about it. But if this anger is a huge part of you right now, use it!
When I started getting clean I was so pissed off at the medical world. They prescribed me benzos and never told me how bad they would mess me up. I hated every doctor that existed. I hated my ex (whom I broke up with almost 3 years earlier) for not liking who I was sober. I was clean for a few months after a medical emergency cause by the benzos. The day we broke up I started drinking even harder than I ever had. And I had already started the benzos again, once again prescribed by another doctor. I let that shit turn me into a monster. So this time around I stayed clean to spite all the doctors and my ex and everyone else who figured I would be a drunk until it killed me.
That’s not how I roll now, but in the beginning it got me through the worst parts of detox and super early sobriety. I got into an IOP and got a new therapist and an AMAZING psychiatrist, all through a psychiatric and chemical dependency program. I don’t suggest living in this anger and spite forever, but at least there’s something you can do with it for now.
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I completely understand this.
It helps so much to use the emotions we are given. I mean, they are already there, why not embrace them and use them.