Ive been drinking since i was around 15. Parties in high school, lead to parties in college, lead to going out to bars till all hours of the night. After i meeting my fiance’, and due to covid, i stopped going out to bars for the most part.
Ive always been a binge drinker. Stayed sober during the week only to get into some beer or liquor on friday nights, then into saturday evenings, and sometimes on sundays. Only to feel like sh*t for a couple days recovering from the weekend, just to start the cycle all over again.
This is my first post here, and i am just reaching out to see if anyone here is in the same boat or drank the same way i do. Im sick of playing “catch up” on the weekends, always feeling rushed, not enjoying the mornings, and of course, dealing with the usual saturday and sunday morning hangover.
This weekend i will be attempting my first alcohol free weekend in probably 5-6 years.
Welcome, Sully; you can do it and it is really hard at the beginning. Once you get past the first weekend you will know that you have the strength to do it. Prepare yourself for when the urges hit.
See ya around!
As the old expression goes, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You take it one step, one day at a time.
You’ve got a good list of things you don’t like about your drinking. Screenshot that list and save it for the times when you need a reminder.
There’s a good list here of why not drinking is awesome - it’s helpful to remember this too (scroll down a bit to find the list):
In the early days it’s helpful to have a place to talk with people. Getting clean and healthy (clean and healthy = not putting poison in your body ) is a change of habits, and it takes the brain some time to get used to new habits. You take it one day at a time and you stay focused on one thing, the top priority, above everything else:
Today, I will not drink. I will do anything I need to do - anything that’s safe and legal - to not drink, and to not put myself in situations where I’m at risk. This means:
I have permission to cancel or change plans. Any plans. (Invited to a wedding? If you think it could be trouble for you, you don’t have to go. I promise you it’s ok. There may be people who don’t understand why you’re cancelling, but I promise you, it will be ok. You will be safe and that’s what matters.)
I have permission to order pizza. I have permission to eat what I like. (Don’t worry about food for the moment. Keep it in perspective: pizza and Netflix is better than drinking any day. Once you have your sober strength built, you can adjust diet if you want.)
I have permission to feel bad (or good, or anything). Our addictions are about silencing our feelings, burying them, numbing them. When we get clean and healthy - sober - it is a waterfall of emotions in the beginning. Let the feels come. Share them with people who can support you, here on Talking Sober, or in meetings like www.AA.org or Online meeting resources. Eventually it will settle but be prepared for them.
Keep checking in here. It’s nice to have a safe space
Oh man can I relate to this, I was very highly functioning but once Friday and Saturday rolled around my focus would turn right to drinking. Would feel extremely hungover on Sunday, then not get over all the hungover effects until around Wednesday or Thursday sometimes, Friday rolls around, rinse and repeat, I was living to get drunk on the weekends. The hardest part for me, which will probably be for you in your first several weekends is filling your time. Just keep yourself so busy and distract yourself for a few weekends until you come to a point where you realize “ hey I’ve made it three or four weekends without drinking, and I’ve gotten a lot of stuff done that I have been meaning to take care of”. Also making a schedule of your weekend during the week helped keep me motivated and on track so once Sunday night rolled around I would see how much I got done and feel good about it. Now I feel good that I’m in a routine of getting stuff done on the weekends that, I have a smaller list of things to do and I can focus energy on finding new things to do that interest me. That is far superior to blowing the whole weekend and part of the work week drinking/ hungover, eating crap foods and making poor decisions. It’s not easy at first but it does get a lot easier the farther away you get from stopping the weekend cycle. Power to you, best of luck. Keep on keepin on!
I feel that 100%. Sometimes i feel like i would just be waiting all week impatiently for friday to roll around just to get blasted friday night and feel like shit saturday morning. Then not be as productive and feel as though im waiting all day saturday for the “acceptable” time to start drinking again. Skipping dinner most of the time knowing it would “ruin my buzz”. Then just eating a full course meal after getting drunk and going to bed. Only for sunday to be recovery day, which included eating shitty fast food and binge watching netflix.
You my friend just described my entire young adult life so far. Now what are we going to do to change it? However I can help, feel free to reach out, glad to share any more ideas on what has been working for me. I got a little over 3 months under my belt so I’m a work in progress but going in the right direction. Your going to have an adjustment period if your like me, once you get used to your new routine of saying “ is this all life has to offer, just working all week then getting things you have to get done on the weekends then going back to work Monday” that’s what I’m working on now, once I got past the first month I started turning my focus towards adding new things that I would enjoy doing sober. I needed some time to clean up things around my home and other stuff I was neglecting. At least for me nothing has been fun or enjoyable because I screwed my dopamine up so bad due to years of the weekend binges. It is getting better though, it just takes alot of time which I have learned to accept. This is a very difficult thing, your changing your entire being. just keep working at it. There is a way out and a light at the end of the tunnel
Yep, was like that too but I stumbled upon a time where I wasn’t working and then my broken ass brain said, “why we only doing this shit on the weekends?, we can do it every day!”
Um, well when daily drinking is done with intent & for effect… but hey, I’m Smitty and an alcoholic. Welcome to TS and please stick around.
We don’t ever have to or need to drink/use again.
Needed this. This has been the hardest part for me about recovery, dealing with my crazy emotions. Im at 33 days and it hasnt settled yet…its just been so hard and painful but im resisting the urge to drink in hopes that things get better
They do get better. I promise you they get better. It is a rollercoaster ride especially in the early days but keep working on it, keep reaching out, keep sharing, keep feeling, keep finding people who understand and keep reaching out and keep… well keep up all that stuff, one day at a time, and I promise you it gets better.
You find moments each day where you feel true. It’s subtle but find a minute each day to breathe and you’ll find it.
For me this meditation is very helpful when I’m living in a moment of charged thoughts or feelings. I found it helped open my eyes and my awareness to “ride the wave” and return to calm seas.
I am new here also and I can completely relate to this. I started drinking around 12-13 and it was a very weird experience. The dizziness and not realizing what’s happening to your body. When I got older especially 19-22 I was drinking every single day even at work. It took me to be placed in an ambulance 3 times to bring that down a notch. After that it became very random when I drank. I realized I wasn’t drinking everyday but at the end of the week or just times when I socialized and that was off and on because I’m a home body. When I went out, I was playing catch up so hard it was like I was an alcoholic and I was a very bad drunk. Most of my friend would say, we aren’t baby sitting you or you need to not drunk, it’s not for you which would make me mad but they were right. I was not the cute kind that passes out and falls asleep after throwing up. I was a complete monster
Fast forward till now, I have gone at least a year and half without the drinks and then last year had a few but nothing too bad and then I was sober completely for 3 months and then boom, catch up binge and that didn’t end well. So here I am , new to a group I have never ever thought to join.
Sorry just wanted to connect with you with my little back story. I believe you can do it. Occupy your time with different things you want to do that don’t involve anything to do with drinks. When people ask me to go out I’m like let’s go play golf or go to an arcade (yes I’m a kid at heart lol) or walk through the park, whatever you like to do on the weekend.
, new to a group I have never ever thought to join.
