Single moms /even dads in recovery and the struggle

Anyone else in recovery as a single mom and or parent ?
If so can you relate with the adjustment it has been teaching yourself to basically parent again sober? I have always pride myself on how I parent and I love for my child, when I was high I thought o was invincible … I was that fun energetic mom most days when the dope really kicked in he started asking why I was so tired @ age 4.
That was when I quit and was DONE.
So my question is, how has it been adjusting to a new look and love for motherhood ?
My patience are slimmer, I have no energy to keep up with an active 5 year old and I’m more spacey and not as organized with my thoughts . I.e forgetful or sometimes feel the PAWs put me in a sluggish mood .
How do y’all cope?
Thanks … ps 120 days sober today !

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I’m only 2 months sober off alcohol and I’ve been feeling the same way. I know I was more ‘fun’ and energetic while drinking but also reckless and hungover the other half. My 5yo stuck by my side every day while I’d sleep on the couch, sometimes all day until i had to work. I couldn’t do that to her anymore. I missed out on so much of her little years. Shes loving that i dont take naps anymore and noticed we dont go to the ‘drink store’ anymore. I have noticed my brain is foggier about keeping things organized but I’m hoping it gets better. It’s crazy I kept it all together as long as I did while drinking. If I did as well as that then, I know I can continue to get better with a clearer mind. Just be patient with your recovering brain and I’m sure it will work itself out.

Thank u and congrats on 2 months ! I feel the same I didn’t drink my devil was pills / heroin . I still kept my bills in order, house and I run a salon. I kept it very under wraps till I felt the drug was then controlling me . I chose to finally STOP. now feel everything is so different . Also paranoia! Weird right !?

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No not really. I went thru a period just a couple weeks ago of intense paranoia and just being very emotional. I dont really know why though. It’s better now. Drinking was my main issue but I’ve been on every drug for an extended period of time at one point or another. Opiates were the worst for me bc that’s when things really started slipping away and I lost control of my finances. Still got everything paid but with not much leftover. But since quitting booze I’m much less likely to go looking for something else. Like you said its probably PAWS. Weird symptom but I think everything will eventually work it’s way out. Keep doing what you’re doing :+1:

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You too :heart:

I’m a single mama. It’s hard work. It’s a lonely job and lifestyle and although they’re amazing motivation to get clean, it’s also hard work.
I refuse to lose my baby to drink and drugs and that’s why I’ll never drink again.
Did you using ever have an effect on your kiddos?
My daughters been told faaaaar too much by my parents. Told her that when I tried to commit suicide and was hospitalized 2 years ago, that it was because I drank too much wine and its bad. She is now paranoid I’m going to get sick and go to hospital again. She asks if every drink I have has alcohol in it. It destroys me. But excellent motivation to never go back there. I just don’t know how to deal with it correctly in a way that harms her the least!

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I always thought I needed a couple of drinks sometimes to be able to be present and fun with the kids. Being a single mom involves a lot of stress and a lot of boredom, no matter how much you love them. But I’m actually aware now that edge-off me was probably less fun for them than I told myself. My eldest says I’m more chill generally when I’m not drinking at all. It’s hard to be going through a lot and you can’t necessarily explain it to them. But they can pick up on a lot and it’s great that you’re clean, for you and the kid.

Hi love ! You are you doing a phenomenal job!
My sons 5 and never really saw the effects .
He would ask me now and again when I was really high “why are you so tired mommy “ broke my heart and finally that was my last straw . Sad to think when your high or under any substance we think we can parent better … our kids see it all though.
I am lucky I didn’t lose him honestly.
He’s my whole world :earth_americas:

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I feel much more boring I’m physically more fatigued and literally can’t do as much now that I’m sober . I’m always in pain, but it’s better than dead !!!
I believe they are our main reason! They need there momma and deserve A healthy one​:heart::heart:

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Im not yet a single father but wife and i are struggling with our relationship. We just talked about divorce this last weekend and its a bit scary. Scary for the kids, i think they will suffer a lot and scary for being a single parent: its sooooo much work to do to raise and educate a child. To me single parents should earn the award of “champions of the world” because its such a huge and difficult accomplishment to do. As for me, as long as im clean and not high around my kidz, i think i will be a great father. I give then lots of love and attention but i have to admit that my patience is very limited. When i was using cocaine daily it was terrible, i had mood swings all the time, got pissed at the kids and felt extremely dirty and miserable to be high around such lovable little creatures. Again, as long as all this shit is far away from me and them, i can handle anything!

Thank you for starting this feed. There are so many things I would like to share with my experiences of being a single mom to a beautiful son with adhd. My God it’s been a rough road. Alcohol made it just a little easier to cope with life and be fun… at first, then it made me a lazy mom that didn’t want to leave the house. I didn’t want to drive anywhere, I didn’t want to go for dinner anywhere that didn’t have alcohol, no going out to movies because I didn’t want to sit there for that long without a drink… really sad. My anxiety about everything was over the top. Everything revolved around my next drink. I couldn’t even go to a parent council meeting without have a drink or two first.
Truly, I think this feed could go on forever. As single parents, there is so much we have to heal. And we’ve had to live life doing everything on our own. It’s hard even sober to hold it all together and push for better for ourselves and our kids.
I think single parents need each other.

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Well I hope it works out ! How long have you been clean ?
Defiantly kids are aware we are “different “ so keep that mindset :muscle:t2:

Agree! U got this :facepunch:t2:

Girly we absolutely need each other !!
I felt the same but w heroin … pills etc … any outings I felt I needed to be high . I became isolated but with my son I felt more “fun” stupid but true.
It became the same … I had to use to go anywhere towards the end before quitting . Now just really learning to parent again is hard but we made our bed gotta lay in it .
Feel like there our angels :heart_eyes::pray:t2:

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So, I first of all, congratulations on getting clean! Woop woop! I am seven months sober, and I have to say that starting around the fifth month, I started getting my energy back and my feelings back. And I feel like I’m killing it with my parenting skills. Lol my baby is two, and she’s as wild as they come. And finally, mama is right beside her. She is attached at the hip, and we have so much fun. Just be patient, it will come. And when it does, you’ll never look back. It will all be worth it. And you will definitely be fun again, probably never like before, but it’ll be better. I feel so proud that I can tuck her in at night and know that I took great care of her that day. Good luck to you! Be strong and courageous!!

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What was ur DOC?
I feel like it’s taking me forever to be “normal” prior to drugs . I don’t crave them I just want the old fun me back :frowning: thank u for the inspiration and congrats!

Just 35 days so far. I was over 300 days clean last year :neutral_face:

Don’t beat yourself up. One day at a time

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Irs most definite not easy, my family are a chain of alcoholics and so am I but someone has to break the chain and i will never let my son see that side of me. It does get lonely and stuff like that but keeping my mind busy with him and having all you beautiful people as support as well as my home group is amazing!

Much love for everyone doing it alone!
One day at a time!

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Best advice thank u :heart: