I’m so tired of drinking day one again 
il so embarrassed. Woke this morning with such anxiety I could barely breathe! I’m so tired of drinking till I forget and it’s every couple of days. I’m so sick of checking my phone with hangover guilt about who I have text or WhatsApped the night before it’s so embarrassing. It’s always people I barely even speak to so o don’t know why I do it. They must think I’m a right weirdo because I only do it around 11:30pm. The more I think about it and the more embarrassed I get the more my anxiety gets so bad that my heart beats out of my chest. Why am I doing this! I need to stop! Please give me the strength not to drink anymore:weary:
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You are not alone! Taking the first step to post here is a great start!
Go to an AA meeting. TODAY.
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I found that strength at AA meetings. There are many programs out there, find one that suits you and put a lot of hard work into it. You’ll soon reap the benefits of sobriety.
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Welcome Jemma,
Today is a great day for day 1. I’m glad you found us.
This is a great sober community.
You’re among people that understand.
Have a good read around and join in when your comfortable.
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I’m still getting the hang of this but thankyou so much. I feel like I need someone to talk to. I’m a single mum with no one to share my problems. I feel like I need some sort of buddy to get through this to speak to daily so we won’t let each other down if that’s possible?
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P.s AA meetings are a little difficult for me to attend as I’m on my own with the children and it’s the summer holidays which is annoying. If there is anyone that would like to chat daily to help and encourage each other when we are feeling wobbly I would really appreciate that 
I completely understand how difficult it can be to get to meetings with young children as I’m a solo mum with next to zero support.
There is the option of online meetings. They run 24/7 so you can jump on when the kids are occupied at home or asleep at night. You don’t need your mic on and you don’t have to speak, sometimes just listening can be a big help to us.
The flying sober link includes details of the women’s only zoom meetings, if that makes you feel more comfortable.
I sometimes brought my young children with me to meetings. Gave them the ipad with headphones plus the old timers used to help out with occupying them for me also x
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Hi Clemmie!
I’d be happy to talk to you and check in with each other. I don’t have kids so I might not be able to relate to that aspect of your life but I am very busy in other aspects of my life. More so, I was a drinker like you when you mentioned hitting up people at night after/during drinking - people I barely even talk to! For me, it would be random people I went to high school with (10 years ago!) that I haven’t spoken to since. I would be so embarrassed the next day I’d either come up with a lie like wrong number or block them and never respond.
Anyway, just wanted you to know the feeling of embarrassment passes. It took time for me but that really has been the key to feeling better. Time heals!
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I am day 5 sober, this is not my first attempt, my drug of choice is wine.
What has helped me these past 6 days is this app, CBT, ice cold water when The cravings set in and at night just before bed, I use a hypnotherapy app for alcoholism. This has got me through these last 5 days so much easier this time around.
You’ve got this and you’ve got a great community here!
Good Luck! 