Sober, but not as Happy As You Said

Im 31.45 days sober. I still suffer from anxiety. Not as bad…I will say that. I dont have a very strong support system. My mom n family dont give a shit anymore. Think my husband is there too. I dont know why I keep sober, But so far I have “I dont need it yet”. “Failure thoughts” yeah, yeah. I had a shit day today. I usually cry or medicate instead of talking. I hate talking, cuz no one fucking cares. At least here I dont have to watch you not care. I guess I feel tired and alone in my sober life. When I was drinking At least I laughed.


31 days is great!!! I went through a similar situation when I first quit. It was hard to find support and the people I quit for really didn’t want me to quit. I suffered from depression, anger and anxiety. I know a lot of ppl don’t like talking about AA but honestly it saved my life and my sanity. I stayed sober 3.5 years before I finally said what’s the point. I started to drink again and after 2 times of “controlled” drinking I got drunk again. I had to learn how to live sober. I had to learn that it was for me to live a better life. Now I am 607 days sober and have a great support system with people I have met at meetings in the program. It is the one place I can go where I don’t have to explain how hard it is to quit and all my fears. It is known. It is up to you but I just thought I would share what worked for me. You are doing great!!! Do this for you.


Thats crazy! those are long periods of sobriety. My 31 days :joy:. Ure amazing. Im in no danger of drinking rn. Im pretty tired. I keep busy all day. Only thing to do is clean n mom. no real time for me.

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I try to stay busy during the day. If I allow myself to sit and think too long my mind races. Drinking was the solution to social anxiety, racing thoughts and fear. Taking drinking away I had to learn how to live without my solution. It takes time but it does get better. My life is not perfect but it is getting better everyday. I have a support team that is there if I need them. I have ppl to call when or if I get that urge to drink. Your not alone. You reached out instead of picking up that is progress. One minute, one hour one day at a time. Hang in there.


Ty. I try. Rn Im pretty depressed. I have so much anxiety I Dont leave. Itll get better. Im just tired of it all.

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It gets better. With time it just does. I’m not in AA and I don’t have a group of sober friends. I’ve been sober four and a half years. I quit because I knew I was in a miserable rut and I was so tired of waking up disgusted with myself. Alcohol had become too big for me. I lost days and weekends to it. Even when I had it, I was constantly worried about running out. At parties, I found myself counting wine bottles, furious at hosts that had not supplied what I thought was enough. Friday’s at work were my favorite days, bursting with anticipation for a night of binge drinking regardless of the fights, damage, vomit and pain I was repeatedly inflicting on myself. I kept putting myself through it again and again waiting for the fucking fun.

Until I realized one day that it wasn’t actually fun anymore and that I did not want to drink anymore. And so I stopped. Early on in my sobriety,I would find myself wondering how long I would keep this up. It felt like an experiment. But I kept adding days. And then somewhere in there, I started feeling a little better.

Now, I can’t imagine going back to that dark place. My life seemed so limited back then. I kept throwing myself into the same pit over and over again. It’s crazy to me now to realize how much time I wasted being miserable under the guise of have fun.

For me, walking with a Fitbit everyday was a great tool for me— a complement to my sobriety, not a cure. Losing forty pounds while sober was a huge incentive to keep up sobriety. It also literally brightened up my world and expanded my horizons by walking outside every fucking day. I remember the first day I could actually smell roses on the corner of my block—almost a year into my sobriety. I had numbed my senses for so long I was missing out on all the simple beauty around me. Trust me, I’m no hallmark card. I’m still full of plenty of piss and vinegar. But sobriety has lightened up even this dark and brooding soul.

I’ve learned a lot about myself over these last four and a half years. Sobriety does that because all you are left with is you. No magic juice to shut up your thoughts. But it’s good to learn how they work through my problems rather than drowning them.

Keep it up. You’ll get there.


Well your life is what you make it. Just removing alcohol isnt what makes everyone happy. Its what we gain and turn your lifes into. We buy things for ourselves and stride to get better jobs or living situations. If you feel FOMO about drinking again you obviously didnt build yourself up at all. Maybe your just loosing sight in why you got sober or maybe you got sober for the wrong reasons. You are looking for gratification from others for your accomplishments like your looking for a pat on the back. If you did this for yourself you wouldnt care about what others thought. Instead why dont you treat yourself for your accomplishments and look for gratification within yourself…


So much truth @Alliecat.


I’m sorry you’re not feeling better but 31 days is really awesome.

Just remember that the only person responsible for your happiness is you. Maybe you can try some new activities/sports and you’ll meet new people too.

Please don’t give in. You can do this.

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I care, and a bunch of beautiful souls here care too.

Happiness is a choice, and it comes from within. All the booze in the world couldn’t make me happy, and it couldn’t make me less sad either.

I became happy, when I chose to be better. I worked on being better, and became happy as a result.

You can choose to be happy, by deciding to be better. To be better, you have to fix yourself. To fix yourself, you have to stop hurting yourself. Sober is the best place to start.


Sure it would be great if your family would support you I know that very very well. For my dad I was pure dissapointment and for the rest of my family too. But my “family” was highly toxic. I would have never ever made it while still having contact to them. After realizing that my real sobriety journey started.
This forum here is my main support system. And if you let us, we’ll be your support system too. Nobody gives a fuck? Wrong! We’re here to help.
Getting and staying sober is hard work, mental work. As Stevie said, happyness comes from within.


I had colossal support from my family to quit for years, didn’t do me a bit of good. I never did it for myself, I was content with being restless, irritable and discontented with life, blaming others for the way shit was.

We get sober for ourselves. I didn’t have any support from family this time around, aside from my wife who was also getting sober, and you know what I preferred it that way. I can only let down one person in this world and that’s me.

Family has come back around and I now have their support and it feels good, not because of their adulation but because I have my own respect for me, myself and I back. When you respect yourself, others will take notice and things just kind of work themselves out… at least they did in my experience.

Congrats on 31 days, takes herculean effort to get that far when you’re literally fighting the drink every day. Stop fighting and start living. You lost to alcohol, that’s all there is too it.


I just thought I would check in on you. I hope things are getting a little better. There was a lot of support from ppl I was reading some of the replies. It is your sobriety. Find what works for you and don’t look back. You are stronger than you think and life does exist without drinking. At least now I remember everything and think before I act. That is a lot less anxiety and worry if I have to apologize.


Youre awesome Thanks for sharing that with us. Im fighting the good Fight.

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Im really making an effort. It feels different this time around but I dont wanna fool myself. Every time I relapse The sober time in between gets longer and longer. I did 25 days the first round and 35 the second. I wanna beat it. I dont think about my next drink. Im repairing myself. :black_heart::black_heart::black_heart:

I really did. I feel tired. Being sober forces to take a look in the mirror. The real fun is watching me deal with every day life with out my crutch. LOL stumbling, fumbling, but sober. Its early in my struggle. But ive taken steps to stay sober. Thanks for always being there.


I def dont have fomo. lol. I hate gatherings. Im an solo drinker. I hate alcohol. U ask me me which is worst Meth or alky? Alcohol wins. Just legal. I beat meth n im still fighting alcohol 🤦

I broke up with my mom last year around may. Ive been fighting my alcohol binges since. it was hard ripping her away. I feel I helped myself though. I def drink less with her out of my life.

I hear that. Im 34 n I feel like Ive wasted so much life on bs. Im actually evolving with out alcohol everyday in my life. :black_heart:


What about alcohol appeals to you to continue? Im currious?