It’s terrifying, I’m terrible at it and wouldn’t recommend it until the third date at least 
but it’s really fun.
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… not that I’m dating currently (or looking to right now either thanks 
).
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I’d figure out her interests and go from there. Drinking can be a very insignicant part of casually dating-if you let it be. Your sobriety should always come first but if you look at drinking from a “normal” human’s perspective, it’s not a big deal if they are on a date drinking or not. I always have to remind myself to look at it from the other person’s perspective- and that is, a nice coffee shop with a fire place or a local band would be perfectly cute and ok for a date! Best of luck!
Cooking a meal together - what an awesome idea 
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So here is what has happened so far:
I joined an online dating website called zoosk and in my profile I mentioned that if you are an every weekend partier or barfly pass me by. I am a non drinker and go into my interests of camping, hiking, being outdoors hanging with my Kid’s honesty and integrity are important blah blah blah.
So I talked to a couple girls online and finally I meet up with one and we do at a coffee shop that was a midway point. It was an afternoon deal just to see how it would go.
I asked her out for dinner and she said yes do we did and dinner was over in less than an hour ( fast service lol that is unheard of). We went to an adult arcade/bar. We played games then sat at the bar and she wanted to watch the MSU basketball game. So we did and drank cokes and talked.
3rd date I cooked spaghetti homemade which was one of her favorites from talking with her. She helped me clean up and we went to a planetarium to see a show on night skies and walk the exhibits afterwards. We came back and talked. One of my AA books were on the coffee table and she asked about that I mentioned that I go for support in living life on life’s terms and to be apart of something that me as well as others. We kissed goodnight.
Date 4 was lunch at an out met for lunch walked an outdoor mall talked kissed a bit planned on dinner tomorrow.
Unfortunately she called on Monday of this week to cancel to say it will not workout. From what I gather her ex husband is an active alcoholic and will not get help. I’m not sure she wants to put shelf in a situation that could go back there. I’m disappointed but I understand. I just I said had a great time getting know her I wish her all the best if she changes her mind or just talk I’m around but I understand she needs to do what is best for her.
Sorry this is so long. I guess going into this dating thing I was just lacking confidence. I’m more of a hey whatcha think you want to this or this rather we are doing this kind of guy. So that is my dating story as of now. It is really my first sober online dating experience. At least I broke the ice. Thanks for all the advice I do have to keep in mind that meeting up for a drink means they can have one while I have a coke. Thanks again this website is really helpful.
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Just one more dating experience to add to this books…at least it was fun and right now that’s what you should be having!
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I don’t think you need dating advice at all 
Dating suuuuucks, but you handled it incredibly well. I’m sorry you made it all the way to date 4 before she decided it wasn’t going to workout for her. It’s unfortunate she doesn’t know how incredibly awesome sober addicts/alcoholics are IMO 
… they are my favorite kind of people 
Its clear to me she’s not the one, so be excited that you’re just one step closer in meeting her/the one. 
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Yes, but he made pretty good use of those 4 dates with all that kissing💋
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Oh so true!
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I think it sounds like you did marvelously! It takes time and patience. There are likely going to be a lot of duds or things that don’t work out for one reason or another, and that’s ok! If someone is uncomfortable with your recovery, it is good to know that sooner rather than later. Have fun meeting new people, having different experiences and learning. And trust your HP will bring the right person to you at the right time. Letting go of expectations in intimate relationships is where step 3 is big for me. Hand it over, trust the process and enjoy yourself!
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I have a back up plan if Im not married by 40!
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I see I’m not the only one 
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Bro you ain’t over 40
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No were thirty somethings and thriving but if im not married by 40 i have a back up plan and i see my friend @Twowaymirror does too! Were all about the love! P.s. you’re wedding will be on my birthday and it’s always fabulous out that day!
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Her loss butch😊your lady is out there.some advice ill give you which i learned the hard way is to not spill your life story in the first few months.ive done it repeatedly on first dates and"normal"people just dont understand how rubbish life can be to people they just think crikey she has way too much baggage for me.i make no point of explaining why im not drinking if asked ill say i have work tomorrow or im hungover i had a few wines last night or i actually dont like the taste(not a lie i dont like the taste of my life unravellingthrough booze)i find it funny if you go out for dinner you dont question why someone isnt having cake and abs wouldnt try to coax someone on a diet by saying"go on just have one big slice of cheesecake"it wont hurt…so find it bizarre it happens with drink.
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Comedy clubs. Indoor Rock climbing. Take her shopping 
… Im in ga so i would also like to do horseback riding… Hiking is big out here… Hmmm. Shows… Maybe like midevil times or something. Site seeing. Art centers. Mueseums… Parks… Maybe a lunch date in a park or something Creative and THOUGHTFUL… women love a man who not only suggest ideas but also takes control and plans spontanious things. Im in atlanta so im just thinking of places id like to go out on dates. Lol ferris wheel rides. Amusement parks… But honestly… i havent been out in a while due to my early sobriety. I just hit the reset button 
here we go again. Good luck on ur dating though. Just be thoughful. Thats the key
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So I’ve shared this much I will just continue on and see how far the the rabbit hole goes and you lucky readers get to find out too lol. So online dating is interesting. I find the more honest and true to self you are the better response you get. Seems simple right? Well not so much. You start reading profiles and thinking do I like to go out? Do I like to kayak? Do I like to bike ride? And I can say test to those but in moderations. I’m not lance armstrong, I do things when I find the time between soccer games, grocery shopping, food prepping, homework, house cleaning, the occasional nap you get the point. In reality yes I would like to do all those things but how active am I? I started saying I’m looking for that person that enhances my life not tries to completely changes it. I’m looking for that one that gets me out of my she but knows when to chill too. I ended up talking to someone that was just over 200 miles away and was open about recovery and where I am in life. It has been some of the greatest talks I have in a long time. As that is going good I meet someone at a meeting and we have similar stories. Though that one is tricky because the divorce is not final so friends it is. That is a sobriety killer if things go south. So to put it bluntly I just wore my skin and scars as is and said this is who I am and I am happy with that. Would you believe that is ok with some people? Stop rolling your eyes it’s my appifiany not yours lol. Anyways I thought I would share though I used it as humor it was truly a learning experience. My scars and past made me a better person today so I am embracing that person. The right person will see that. I love all of you on this website you helped me more than I can tell you. Have a great night stay sober. I read something funny posted. I’m not single I’m independently owned and operated.
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Bro dating sucks in general. I am 29 and have had woman also say it won’t work out cause I don’t drink. 29 or 40+ it doesn’t matter.
Man, @Butch. All’s I’m gonna say is thanks for posting all this. And that for what it’s worth I think you’re crushing it.
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