Dang, it hurt to read this, so I feel for you @Hvitrafn Alcoholism is HARD. We have to fight it, but we can’t do it alone. Have you found any type of support group or people you can lean on or turn too for support? Many folk have successfully become sober and are now living life in recovery as members of the AA community, have you tried or considered AA? Could be helpful. Very good idea to eliminate ALL alcohol from the house. No need to tempt and torture yourself. Make this journey as easy on yourself as you possibly can, and don’t forget your why - write it down. Why do you want to be sober!?? Then you can always come back to this. I find writing notes, letters or journals to myself help a lot. The words that find themselves on the page and insightful and encouraging and give me strength to keep moving forward.
I wish you well, and remember that despite the fall, we just gotta get back up and keep moving forward. Keep growing. You can do this.
Love that saying!
Stay strong… You can do this…
Going through the threads on here…just seen this one.
Last night…when I hit 24hrs, I was so glad that I felt the urge to reward myself with a drink!
Never feel alone when your here,BC you never will be day or night someone is always here to lend an ear ,or some good advice or kind word,stay alittle longer get comfy your finally where ya meant to be my friend,keep reading it really does help you to understand.
Coming back to my original post after a while.
I feel very differently now, I was able to not collapse my willpower yesterday when I felt the sleepwalking liquor store buyer try to take over. It’s the first time that I really was able to shut down what has previously been impossible to resist.
It’s taking a lot more work than I expected but my month has been mostly successful and I’m learning every day. Today is day 7 AF and the month so far has been a total of 17 days alcohol free- with one 16 day stretch. And each of my 3 lapses has consisted of 2 to three shots and then my sobriety soul kicks the rest down the sink. Maybe this is tapering? I’ve been reading about that and it doesn’t appeal, deliberately. But when I think of the past- with 400- 600 ml of Vodka every day…I cant believe I did that.
I dont even like the smell or the thought of the taste anymore. And the thought of those anxious thoughts coming back- ugh. No. Thanks to everyone for helping so much. I dont feel scared, only resolved that it’s possible. It used to feel impossible.
Your doing great Rob - turning that fighting spirit into a force of positivity.
Good to see you working on your sobriety Rob. You’re moving in the right direction. Indeed I don’t think tapering works. You are steadily moving towards total abstinence though, with some hiccups along the way. These hiccups are very dangerous and it’d be better if you didn’t have them . But if you use them to learn and move forward they are not all for nothing right? Keep going, you’re on the right path and doing great!