Sober from Tramadol and Xanax, daily check in for motivation

sobriety

#142

I still get this sometimes. It sucks donkey balls. A sudden blinding flash, I stay totally blank for few seconds,then for 2-5seconds more i can see, feel but can’t decipher what’s going on.
I get stabilized around 10 to 12 seconds approx.
It throws me a little out of balance every time it happens. But fortunately i haven’t had this in last 4 days.
Congratulations to you, you are doing amazing. Best wishes. Please share as much as you want here.


#143

I will start stretching and go for a run to see how that helps, thanks for your input. I’ve never dealt with depression before this, so it’s new to me, I hope I can look forward to a “good day” soon. Glad to see your still doing good. And again, thanks for sharing things that work for you…


#144

You are welcome. Let me know how you feel.Also add up some Magnesium, iron, folate supps with a multivitamin.
Good luck.


#145

Almost at the 11 day mark. Exercising has helped me alot. Still feeling rough but that “rough feeling” is getting better, if that makes sense. How are you feeling now? Do you recall your first actual “good” day? I cannot wait for that day!


#146

Hey Kristine, sorry for late reply, I was stuck with some works. Well, i think you will start feeling a lot better from 2 weeks mark.

What bothering me right now is a weird low feeling. It is by no means extreme but its kind of constantly there, sometimes in the foreground sometimes a little nascent.I searched a bit on internet and found that tramadol is responsible for this and in general a lot of people suffer from a second wave of withdrawal which is not extreme but kind of nagging.
I am very happy to hear that physical excercises helping you. It certainly helped me a lot.


#147

That day is near than ever. What bout your depression? I hope it is fading away slowly.


#148

Yes, I feel like crying over more stuff than usual but I’m managing that pretty well, i guess. Although, I CANNOT sleep. Like, I’ve been up all night, tried laying down at 11 last night and I’m still tossing and turning. Thankfully, no work today! Hope your feelings get better, I am always an ear of you need to talk! I’m so thankful for this app! Hope you have a good day!


#149

Honestly i never felt that i will get proper sleep again. Specially at night, it felt like a stream of endless suffering. I totally feel you. But fighting it makes it more difficult, just do something instead. Read a book may be. It will be hard to concentrate but its harder to actually do nothing and persevere. May be start watching a web series which is fast paced.
Good news is, it’s just a few more days. You have already crossed the hardest part so you are strong enough.
Good luck.


#150

How ya doing man? Been awhile since I’ve checked in with you. Hope all is well!


#151

Hey ssup? I m doing good, how are you? I am just a little sad time to time. It’s a bit rough in personal life as well but i am not quitting.
Overall i am in a lot better shape. There are problems but i m not losing hope. 36 days clean. Fuck, yeah.


#152


Found this on Tumblr.


#153

I really appreciate the encouraging words!


#154

What you are experiencing is most likely PAWS. I don’t know what it’s like for the trams, but I do know with the Xanax it can last a year or longer. I still get it, actually been in a pretty bad slump with it for a while now. I’m at day 337. Sometimes I get super pissed about it, but then I just reassure myself that it won’t last forever, that I’ve gotten through it before, and that it’s all a part of healing and becoming stronger. Haha, sometimes I call bullshit on these thoughts because I just get fed up, but I still have a better handle on it than I did at the beginning.


#155

Day 14 for me. The past couple days have been pretty rough. Depression, aches all over, and team no sleep over here. I’m exhausted physically but mentally my brain just will NOT shut off. I’ve even been desperate enough to try to count sheep😂. Hoping for a better day tomorrow. Hope all is well with everyone and hope you all are staying strong. This is so hard. I have been super grateful for not having any cravings yet, though it’s still early and not saying I wont have any but knowing the hell I’m going through, I dont want anything else to do with that sh@!


#156

The worst part is when the onset happens, the simplest works feel like rocket science. Talking and negotiating with people bout work making me nervous at times. It causing a weird breathlessness and a stiff sharp neck pain after sometime.
Otherwise, I am pretty fine physically. Occasional twitches, aches are there so as occasional rls but its not that bad.


#157

For me, that breathlessness is caused by the anxiety that comes with not being able to string even two correct words together. I know all about those days. I’ve gotten to the point where I tell the people around me that I’m having a shit day and my brain isn’t working. They get it by now. It’s happening less these days, but still more often than I’d like. My doc and I are reducing one of the meds I’m on and hopefully that will help with the brain fog. But yeah, when writing a simple check (I’m a floor manager/server) is complicated it makes me crazy.


#158

2 weeks. Congratulations. Physical discomforts will go away very soon, i hope its already fading.
I am having a lot of trouble with depression and anxiety myself. But its getting lesser with days though it is extremely slow tbh. But at the same time, if i compare with what i had 20 days back, i can see definite improvements.
I only get cravings when i have to take a decision or negotiate with people about work. On the other hand when i m actually working, (though at start its still rough and i get distracted very easily) it is generally pretty decent.
Only advice i can give you is get yourself as much physical activity as possible.

One thing i did frequently was getting on a bus/tube and travel as long as possible,getting down having a tea and smoke, walk a bit here and there,ckick some photos and come back. It’s effective i get distracted and generally felt better.
40 days sober. Yesss.


#159

I am trying to deal with it. Can you believe that i checked several times vefore sending a text message quoting the service charges which is freaking same for last 2 years? Incredible. But it is what it is. My Doctor advised me to not take any demanding work at least for first 3 months.
I am doing that. Just taking up small works but this can’t go indefinitely, i need to make a plan to get back to regular work.
Hope it will get better for all of us.


#160

It does. I ended up off work for 5 months but was able to jump back in to my high demand job pretty easily when I went back.


#161

I just fear of disappearing from the market. And being not relevant anymore due to a gap.
But a lot of clients and associates are keeping faith as well. I am definitely missing some opportunities but i am getting back my life, ny freedom.
Anyway i would have blown up all the cash plus some more to buy pills.
Zero is still better than negative.