Finally 2 consecutive days without much trouble. I decided to force stop the worries i have bout things that are not in my hands right now.
As i am not working much i decided to read as much books as possible and do excercises. I am even planning to get into a school which teaches kick boxing near my place.
Bad idea?
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Kick boxing sounds like a great idea! Stress relief and exercise all in one. Glad youāve had a couple good days!
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Yes, itās fun but right now i canāt afford it as i m not working much. I am going to increase the intensity of my regular workout routine, a friend who is a trainer is helping me doing this. So far, itās working great. My mood is a little more stabilized at least i am not thinking of killing myself always. I feel hopeless still but i am coping with it way better.
43 days sober.
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Hey Kristine,I hope you are going strong. Howās the aches and depression?
Whatās going on your side? Do you still get this hopeless feeling? How you cope with this low feeling if you have it?
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18 days today, itās going pretty good, things are getting better/easier. My husband has been keeping me as busy as possible, which helps alot! Did you get to a point where all you wanted to do is sleep? I know it usually causes insomnia but Iāve been extra sleepy the past 2 days, I dont know if itās from wothdraws or if Iām coming down with something or what. Hope all is well with you, too.
The first 2 months were all hopeless all the time. I did a stint in the psychiatric hospital because of it. But somewhere deep down I knew it would pass and just kept fighting. The third and fourth month got better on that account but I was still so anxious a lot. It was the fifth month that things started getting much easier to deal with. Thatās not to say that things didnāt get better everyday, but I had agoraphobia for those first 3 months or so and it made me feel like I would never be able to work or live a ānormalā life ever again. Now I look back at that time and wonder how I made it through, but know that I was a champ making it through without relapse.
As for now, I do get some of the hopelessness, but itās usually associated with a step down on Seroquel. I am slowly coming off it and itās a really hard, really frustrating process. I was diagnosed with Bipolar when I was drinking and on the benzos which ended up being the wrong diagnosis. Itās a really strong medication with terrible side effects, but it works really well for people who really do have bipolar. So I get really frustrated with the effects of withdrawal and the shifts in my mental health when we decrease, but I look at it the same as coming off the alcohol and benzos; it will get better and this is necessary for life. But sometimes I get really pissed and think itās unfair that I have to go through MORE withdrawal after all Iāve been through already.
So long answer short, at least for me, the hopelessness will pass. Just keep doing what you are doing, stay busy, and be proud of everything you are going through. You couldnāt get clean and stay clean without going through this shit. It will shape you and make you way stronger than you ever thought you could be!
Had really rough 2 days but today it is significantly better. Minor aches and pains are going away now, I can do things a little more spontaneously.
I donāt know how long it will last may be for a day or 2 but it seems i canāt do much bout it except keeping at it. Trying to keep myself busy with lot of reading, exercising etc.
48 days clean and sober.
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Glad you made it through. The hardest part of those post acute withdrawal months was when things got a little better then seemed to get bad again. But the bad days get more spread out and fewer. In the end, those bad days just make us stronger!
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Glad your here! 48 days, seems like forever doesnt it?! I know when i hit my 30 days it felt like a year lol. How it goes my friend?
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54 days clean. Finally, things are looking better. Restlessness is less. Feeling calm after long time.
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Iām so glad things are looking up for you! Thatās exciting! Itās definately a long process, but I think itās worth it. Iām struggling with coming of a bipolar medication, super nasty depression, but even so Iām super happy to be clean!
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Few hours left to hit the 2 months mark. Happy 
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Damn dude! Those days added up quickly! How are you feeling?
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I am feeling pretty damn good to be honest. Yes i am worried about restarting my regular works, money all the usual stuffs but itās not a overpowering thing now. Actually, i am saving so much money this days that i can pretty much do just fine with very little money.
A general feeling of wellness is there, negative thoughts are lowest (compared to last 4-5 years).
I decided to go extremely slow for at least 4 more months. By the time, i am trying to complete my first ep. I found so many unfinished recordings and ideas. Hope i can share some music here, very very soon.
It gets better, after all. Really really happy that I gave it a chance.
How are you doing Megan?
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Iām doing great! Coming up on a year next Tuesday and things are really starting to get much better. Reducing the Seroquel is hard, but this time around it has been much more manageable. Itās only been three weeks since I went down and the depression isnāt nearly as bad as last time. And everything else just gets better and easier. I was really starting to think that my life was just going to be permanent brain fog and confusion and lack of motivation, but in the last week things have become much more clear and my attitude and motivation have improved immensely. Itās happened so fast I didnāt really know it was happening at all! There are still things that suck, donāt get me wrong, but they are overshadowed by all this positive change. Who new?
I think you are making a wise decision about taking your time with work and such. If anyone can manage it i definately encourage people to ease their way back into the life we had when we were using. Getting back to that life sober is important, but running before walking is a huge stressor. Iām glad you can manage this financially. Isnāt it amazing how much more money we have!!?!?!
Iām excited for you to work on your own music. I know you have been a bit stressed about staying relevant in the industry, but what better way than to work on your project and produce something of amazing quality to put out in the world!
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I still have that anxiety but itās not outta control.
Advanced congratulations for one year.
Its really amazing how much we can save now.
I am really happy to hear that you are successfully tapering seroquil. I know how this feels in head but glad that you are managing it successfully.
I feel overall much happier and positive. There are small quirks here and there but thatās life. I am trying to accept and overcome those but surely not stressing myself over those.
And the music, well its long overdue. I am trying to put those out from 2012. I am hopeful that finally I am will be able complete it and release. Lets hope for the best.
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Thatās exactly what happened with my anxiety. At first it nearly killed me, then slowly or became manageable but still sucked, then much more manageable. Now when I have it I just shrug my shoulders at it and it goes away. But it doesnāt come even just once a day any more. Just a few times a week. I have no idea if it has actually gone away or if Iāve just adapted to it and it seems to not be there. Either way, Iām happy about it!
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I feel really lucky to have you guys. You all are awesome.
Thanks for the continued support Megan. You donāt know how much I appreciate it.
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So happy for you ! I would be honored to hear your music. I took a couple weeks off the app but I still thought of you and @keoH and hoped you were holding it downš
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