Hey guys,
So I have a huge 3 day rave coming up in a few months and am wondering how do you guys deal with staying sober in those situations? The rave is going to be in Las Vegas and for my friend that means partying. Do any of you out there rave? If so what is your best advice for saying no to temptation in an environment like that?
Thanks in advance.
Hey 
I used to go many years ago. Not often but I have. I did attempt to go to 1 in recovery early early on. Personally i hated it 
I just don’t bother going. But some people can attend and not use. I dont take the risk tho. It’s not worth it to me to risk my recovery. But like I said, some people can handle it.
If we hang around the barbershop enough, we’re gonna get a haircut… I’d stay away
I used to go to music festivals before, a rave for me is an old street corner, an old place, I’ve had some time now and I think I feel ready to attend one, however one of my reservations is that I want to listen to one of my favorite DJs with substances, I am aware that it would be to throw everything down, but it is my truth despite having 3 years clean, and being able to be in places where they are consuming alcohol and marijuana, I recognize that my head is powerless to places and people.
What would I do in your situation, assist with my security ring of trusted friends who know that I can’t use and will take care of me. but I am aware that it is a great risk and more so if you do not have much time to clean. Many times I have thought “what if I relapse now that it hasn’t been that long”, I deceive myself believing that it is better to relapse now that I am almost 3 years old than it is later in 10 years, I am honest with myself I have thought about it, but it is better my commitment to myself to live a new clean lifestyle, and I have to be disciplined I force myself to be disciplined in it.
I would still like to know what others think, because a rave is a place where I want to attend again.
My main dilemma is I’m not 100% sure how solid I’ll be. Maybe I am one of those people who is resilient enough. And if I’m not, idk. Financially I’m very invested already into the rave and there’s no going back.
Well said… the only problem is I’ve already bought the ticket and room for the trip which was not cheap. So from a financial standpoint there isn’t any turning back
I’m definitely going to ask my friend for some guidance. But if she wants to party herself, I can’t really rely on her to support me in that way. Not that it’s her responsibility or anything but it’s just going to be us two out there.
It hasn’t even been a month yet and that’s a thought I come across pretty often too. But I really want to stick to my journey as well.
I Understand, Luna. Please be careful and simply remind yourself that you don’t have to drink or get high anymore. Hugs
Correct your decision, responsibility to stay sober so don’t expect help from friends. You can still enjoy yourself. Thing I find is that you cannot enjoy things for as long when drinking and bed times becomes attractive earlier in the night.
But you wake up feeling really good knowing exactly what went down the night before
Umm, there is always a turning point, there’s always a choice. You’re making into an external natural truth what in reality is a priority to you. You’re choosing to go, despite not being sure regarding your sobriety, partly because you want to get your money’s worth. (Instead of perhaps selling the room and ticket or just mark it up as a financial loss) That’s a perfectly fine argument, just let’s not make excuses. A big part of sobriety is being honest with yourself. If you go, you take a big risk you’ll relapse and it seems to be a calculated risk. No, your friends who’ll naturally want to party and take drugs won’t be able to keep you sober. You won’t be able to keep you sober either if you still crave an environment where it’s normal to take drugs to enjoy it fully. You’ll want to take drugs and drink. That’s to be expected. Let’s just face that. It comes down to your priorities.
I’m thinking if the rave is close by your hotel room, you’re rooming alone, not with fellow ravers, and you can withdraw as much as you need to (cos that’s what raves are all about, right, not being limitlessly immersed in the crowd), you might do that? And only go during the day, not the nighttime, if it’s multiple days? Just some suggestions. I don’t think it’s a great idea.
Wishing you the best, however you decide, stay safe and look out for yourself!
I didn’t go anywhere there was going to be alcohol for the first couple months of sobriety. It’s not worth the risk. I personally would take the financial loss and back out. Sobriety is more important and there will be plenty other opportunities in the future.
So, if you’re gonna go, how do you make it through with your sobriety?
Im just kind of thinking what I would do.
know what to expect. There will be booze, there will be drugs. Some people will want you to buy some, some people will want to give you some. Some people will try to give you some without you knowing. Figure out what to say in each scenario. Have some go to repsonses ready, like “I’m pretty im allergic to that” then quickly change the subject, or just walk away.
have an exit strategy. Tell your friends before hand that if need to, you will take off. Be able to get home alone if needed, like, don’t rely on others to get you where you need to go.
mental preparation. Remember, no means no. For them, for you.
I will say, if it were me, I’d consider not going. My sobriety means more to me than any amount of money. If I had to give up $5,000 or my sobriety, I’d ask whom to write the check out to without question. It’s only money, it can be replaced; I can’t be replaced, and breaking my sobriety, I could lose it all. Something to think about.
I’m with Smitty on this i wouldn’t hang out at the barber’s shop and expect to not get a buzz. But in all honesty its ultimately your choice, do take care of yourself and be aware of your surroundings. Ive come to learn about myself in certain situations where I’ve reached that jump off point i could’ve turned back before leaping head first into the deep end. If you believe your solid in your sobriety you can have all the fun with out the substances to enhance the event.
just take it easy and be carefull out there, dont hesitate to just say no if your peer pressured
Lots of great advice here already.
Something I used to do was to have a sober buddy. Not necessarily someone to stay sober with you, but a friend you can trust that’s there with you who knows you’re staying sober now, serious about it, and who you trust to be an additional voice if you’re going to get yourself in trouble. Talk to them about it in advance. Basically someone just to look out for you if you’re about to not look out for yourself. Just the fact that someone else there knew I wasn’t to drink was a deterrent for me - I didn’t want my friend to have to speak up. Pride was a good thing in that case.
And if temptation gets really bad - remove yourself. Go back to your hotel. Sometimes we gotta miss things to protect our sobriety. Over time that becomes less and less, but at the start, it’s important to remember the priority.
Hi Luna - this is a really interesting question you bring up, thank you! Actually the question of sober / dry music and time together comes up pretty regularly here; you are not alone. (For example: Sober Bar, good idea?)
I understand. It feels like an obligation, if not to your friend, then at least to your money, right? Like who are you to spend money and not use it?
“Who are you?” That is really the question here isn’t it?
In recovery we always ask that question (one day at a time). We’ve been numbing ourselves out for so many years that, especially in early days, we don’t really know quite what to do. What do we do for fun, sober? What do we do for friendship, grounded and clear and present? What do we do for ourselves, when we’re not numbing out with our DOC?
It’s one day at a time, a little trial effort and enjoyment at a time. For me I’ve experimented with sketching and woodcarving; socially I’ve been more purposeful about working on friendships: I invite people for walks, I organize murder mystery dinners at my house (have you ever done one of those? They’re awesome & lots of fun). I explore things that speak to me.
Who are you then?
It’s a good question to reflect on here. To help you out I’ll make two observations, just the way things seem to me here:
There is always a choice. Choices are always about giving something up, and choosing something else. The reason we make the choice is because we decide one thing is more valuable or more important than the other.
You’re a good person Luna and you deserve a safe life where you are present, living your life, in a way that you feel good about. You deserve that 
Take it one day at a time and remember: the important thing is to be aware of yourself and your needs. If you take care of those, the rest takes care of itself
If you have any reservations at all about using, you are setting yourself up for the perfect opportunity to do it.
All it takes is a moment to act upon that reservation.
Years ago, in early recovery I had a friend who was having a bachelor party. I felt like I needed to go. I had recovery friends phone numbers that I could call if I needed to. I was able to go and stay sober. It wasnt that fun. watching everyone else get loaded wasn’t fun. I didn’t stay long.
A rave party, at least when I went to them usually had a cover charge that included drugs.
Las Vegas would be filled with alot of excuses to participate. Its Sin City. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas would all give even the slightest reservation a reason to get bigger. Add peer pressure to that and it could get bigger.
My friends who still “party” love to tell me I wasn’t that bad. Being in a rave environment would not be in my best interests for my recovery. I feel out of place when I’m the only one in any kind of setting who isn’t getting loaded. If I’m close to home it’s easy to leave. If I’m in Vegas I’m a lot more likely to start thinking one-time won’t hurt. Its Vegas!
I went to Hawaii. I paid for the trip with money I had saved not drinking. I went with a date. I had a tiny reservation about drinking with her if she wanted to. I did.
The tiniest reservation about using will get you loaded when the opportunity happens.
It’s too risky to do drugs at raves because you never really know what you’re getting. One time could be your last time.
It sounds like a bad idea to me.
We can go anywhere sober. We have to protect ourselves. Ultimately, I am responsible for my recovery.
After the bachelor party I stayed sober for a long time. I ended up drinking again. Reservations about drinking got me that time too.
Reservations will get you loaded.
I get that you’ve spent the money but if your sobriety is lost is it worth it??
I might suggest go to Vegas but skip the rave. Do something calmer by yourself if you have to.
I guess for myself, I would ask which is more important…money already spent or my sobriety. For me, 100% it would be my sobriety. That said, it is your life and your decision and you definitely have lots of good suggestions here already. I will add my suggestions, choose as you will…
Not going. Think of the money as your final loss from alcohol and drugs. Just another bad decision when the drinking and drugs took over.
Go to Las Vegas and the minute you start worrying, obsessing, feeling off or nervous…get outside, get on here and ask for help…then get to your hotel room or someplace more peaceful (Vegas…hmmm) and remember why you wanted to get sober.
You cannot expect your traveling friend to have your back…kind of vice versa since you are the sober one. Take that job seriously and keep an eye on your partying friend…but do not jeopardize your sobriety for their party.
Drink only your own bottled water and unopened waters/soda/seltzer. Stay hydrated. Dance awkwardly and lovingly sober!!!
Go to Vegas…don’t go to the rave…do something else that isn’t going to mess with your sobriety.
Here are some ideas on fun things you can do sober in Vegas, not all of them are expensive…
Wishing you all the best. 
Since use decided on going… the only things I could maybe suggest is taking “breaks” away from it if u can, just a quieter spot if possible to recoop if u need a break. Maybe phone numbers for supportive help if u need to chat. And then trust ur instinct and gut… if u feel like ur going to use, it is okay to walk away when I hae gone to functions where people were getting wasted (I never go anywhere where there is drugs), I just leave early. It’s weird bcuz I can never stay fot that long. I just can’t handle the behaviors and speech and whatnot now that I’m clean lol
