Sober Rosa Feels All The Feels

I’m so sorry to hear you’re nearing the end with your beloved furbaby. There is nothing I can say to make it easier so please just know my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. :hugs::kiss:

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Big deep breath. Since losing my baby dog, I’m struggling to feel connection to sobriety and recovery. I’m sober, but I’m sort of elsewhere in my headspace and I’m not quite sure how to describe it or what to make of it. The days this week have felt amorphous, and the fact that tomorrow is Friday comes as a bit of a shock. It’s early days in grief, so maybe I ought to avoid analyzing too much. I keep feeling like I need a break from the forum, and yet I’m here reading all the time still. It both feels like a safe space and somewhat triggering at times. I’m kind of at a loss here.

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Oh Rosa, I’m so sorry to hear the news. I hope you take some comfort in knowing that you made his final days as comfortable as they could be.

I think this is spot on. Remember, there is only so much pain because there was so much love. Feeling all those feels is the best way to honour that :sparkling_heart::paw_prints:

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You’re right. Big hearts with lots of love have lots of room to feel that pain, but I wouldn’t trade it. Overthinking is not a helpful trait in my case, at times, so I will keep focusing my energy on what helps.

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hugs Rosa… Im do proud of you. Sorry for your loss

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Thank you.

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Remember to be good to you… I would try to feed you if I was there…:heart:

Ha! I am the same for others. Always cooking and trying to take care of people. But my appetite is down the tubes. I have managed to eat a couple good meals in the last two days.

If you read up the thread a bit, there is some pondering to be had about why focusing on others is an avoidance technique…and something I am wanting to learn more about. It’s easier to help others than to help myself and it is part of avoiding my problems.

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Thank God for that. I saw your other post about not having an appetite. I didn’t realize why until I saw your topic. When I lose my appetite, its never good. Bad things happen to good people and it just hurts. I really am proud that your going with the flow of life and maintaining your sobriety.

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I am so very sorry for your loss, they are truly magical creatures and the love they give is pure and complete and special. One thing that has helped me find motivation when I am in deep mourning is to do something nice/good in my dog’s name. Say, a donation to an animal shelter, planting a tree or bush in my yard, painting a bird house, putting up a bat house or apiary, making a small memorial statue for the garden, painting a picture of something loved, collecting old clothes for goodwill, taking a nature walk and leaving a painted stone with my dog’s name on it, or making a special dish for a loved one with the explanation that you wanted to do something good to honor your dog’s memory. The idea is to take something sad and turn it into an act of love, and to keep doing that so that you full your heart and home with these acts of love in honor of your pet. I have found it to be healing while still allowing myself to mourn but not to hyperfocus on my sadness. Again I’m so sorry for your loss, there is never enough time.

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Thanks very much. I am doing some of that, and they’re all good suggestions. I’m managing well, and pretty proud of myself for the proactive way I am trying to confront my feelings and not avoid them. What I struggled with for a while was being able to just sit still and feel the loss, but I believe I’ve made somewhat of a breakthrough there in the last couple days. I am also being very careful to not sit too long, however, as I have a tendency toward depression. Today I had those, what I call, “flat” feelings, so I went out in the snow and then gave my dog Lupe a much needed bath, and I’m feeling better now. Thanks again for the well wishes and the suggestions.

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Here I am, back in mama mode. My little miss Lupe is depressed and it is heartbreaking. I waited a few days to see if she would eat on her own, but tonight I cooked some ground turkey and rice and she finally ate her food. We took her for a walk, which she would normally be bouncing off the walls to get to go and she was not into it at all. We cut it short when she was lagging behind us. Tomorrow we are going to try taking her out for a ride in the car and spending some time playing out in the snow. But I feel the pain acutely. I feel you, Lupe! It fucking sucks!

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Poor sweet Lupe… :cry::broken_heart:
Love to you guys…

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Thank you, friend. I feel for her so much. We’re all sad but at least she seems to understand that he is gone and isn’t anxious or panicky looking for him. That gives me some comfort.

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Your other dog missing him is a whole other level of sad I didn’t think of. Hugs.

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Trying to comfort our baby, she likes when we are touching her.

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I really didn’t know what to expect except that when we rescued her as a stray she was probably 4 months old or less, and she’s only known life with him since then. She’s 9 now. Of course it’s hard. So just like everything else we are taking a day at a time.

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Hugs and healing vibes to all of you :hugs:

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Oh @RosaCanDo, this breaks my heart. I had been meaning to send you this poem, knowing you’re a fan of Mary Oliver, as am I. Now I think it’s fitting for miss Lupe too. :orange_heart:
@CapriciousCapricorn - thinking about you too and the loss of your beloved friend.

The World I Live In

I have refused to live
locked in the orderly house of
reasons and proofs.
The world I live in and believe in
is wider than that. And anyway,
what’s wrong with Maybe?

You wouldn’t believe what once or
twice I have seen. I’ll just
tell you this:
only if there are angels in your head will you
ever, possibly, see one.

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