Well this week has been pretty shit but went to help at the soup kitchen last night and been onto a Recovery Dharma meeting this morning, which has helped.
Gloomy grey day here, not been to the allotment all week so going to pop down and just do a little bit, so I can say I’ve done it.
Looking forward to chatting to a friend later who I can be a bit gloomy with, I know we will laugh too. Am very grateful for that.
It’s that time again!
The sun has been shining here the last couple of days and despite some good news and nice things happening I’ve been feeling pretty gloomy.
Rather than making myself feel bad about the fact that I just want to stay inside and hide from the world, I am going to put some music on, have a cup of tea and do a jigsaw puzzle that I have ignored for a while. My table is against a South facing window so I will get some daylight and find some calm.
Have really been enjoying my sober weekends. So much more relaxing and clear minded.
Went for my run this morning, and it was the first time in a long time that my back felt great while out there. Usually Saturday is an “off” day but I was feeling good, and I was right. Put up a good pace, too.
Going to watch some English football, work a little bit, listen to some music, play some music, and cook. Going to visit my Dad tonight as he is headed back home to Ireland in the next week or so and I won’t see him again until March. I wish I could go visit (was hoping to go back for Christmas) but of course it’s just not the right thing to do, not at this time. I’d have to quarantine for all of it anyways since I’d only be able to go for 7-10 days. I can be patient – I’ll get back next yr.
Tomorrow is likely similar. Run depending on how the body feels, work depending on how much I do today, and then from noon on it’s American football. That’s what Sundays are for.
Have a lovely weekend, everyone.
Working, but on the way home. Have managed to get in the garden at work and sort out the veg and flower beds for winter.
Still got more to do.
The reason you’ve got more to do is because you spent half your day drinking coffee and taking pics !! 
I have a rare half day alone today and I’m going to spend some time preparing for dinner tonight, maybe rake some leaves, and spend as much time as I can outside. It’s a bit hazier today but still lovely and warm. My old dog has been a bit rough the last few days, so he’ll get lots of cuddle time. I’m looking forward to the mental and physical space to myself, and not for the reasons I used to (drinking without having to hide it). It’s a good feeling.
Headed to the mountain for a trail run.
I got up at 6am, which is sleeping in for me. Haha. Putzed around the house and read on TS for a bit. Made some coffee and my plant based smoothie.
It’s nice not having to rush out and run super early, to beat the heat anymore. It’s finally cooling down here in Phoenix.
I usually make brunch for my wife and I, after I get home from the trail. After that… it’s anyone’s guess. No real plans and that’s typically how I like my Saturdays.
Ended up leaving the house to have a wander and see what shops are still open now we are on lockdown. Bought some nice bits for a fancy but comfort foody lunch. Cheese on toast with olives and sun-dried tomatoes (thanks to @TMAC for the tomato inspiration!).
Haha, not!
Three beds weeded and five plants planted.
I think that’s quite enough for a Saturday thank you very much!
We can’t all go skipping along canal towpaths on a lovely autumn day now can we? 
Oh that looks tasty 
Ah but I wasn’t meant to be working anyway ! 
. Didn’t quite skip. My hips are old 
Haha yep I took a bite before I took a picture 
Today has not been a great day. I don’t know why. Nothing bad happened. I felt bored, and dissatisfied, and restless but without any motivation to do anything much.
I cried a bit, moped a bit, then went up to bed and had a nap. It was lovely and feeling much better now, albeit a bit disoriented from waking up in the dark.
Just a reminder to anyone struggling this weekend… It’s ok to be bored, it’s ok to be upset, it’s ok to go back to bed for a bit. It will pass and it’s not worth drinking over 
Anyone else cruising through a shitty day like a sober boss?
(Happy people also welcome 
)
Apart from the nap that sounds exactly like my day today, it just felt like a bit of a non day ? Glad I’m not alone. Maybe it’s in the stars , but yes… absolutely no reason to drink… this too shall pass. I am glad you’re feeling a bit better now.
Siand, you described my day to T. I’m feeling better now and going to my usual women only AA meeting tonight. You’re right, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this kind of day, it will pass.
I just realised when I was having this meltdown earlier, that I’ve got what I need to be safe and secure. That’s enough. An afternoon in bed isn’t an afternoon wasted if it’s what I want to do. It’s just an afternoon in bed!
Glad to hear you are feeling better now too. @adeygaga49 definitely something in the stars but we will get through it together 
“An afternoon in bed isn’t an afternoon wasted if it’s what I want to do. It’s just an afternoon in bed!”
Exactly @siand but something in us makes us feel guilty and I refuse to do that anymore. Yes if I’m wallowing in self pity that’s a different thing but sometimes our body and mind know best what we need. 
Hmmm I do quite a lot of wallowing Sometimes just got to go with it!
I think for a lot of people, especially people in recovery, we are so aware of all the time and potential we’ve wasted that it can feel really important to cram everything in, to always be smashing it and ‘achieving’. But then of course we forget that just getting the basics right in looking after ourselves is all we really need to achieve. Until we get that right the rest is just stress!
Sian you and @adeygaga49 have hit on something that’s been on my mind a lot lately. The thoughts of wasted time that get tied to regret. I’m working on not slipping past regret and getting caught up in guilt and shame. It’s miserably cold and damp out today and I started out ouchie and menstrual, but I managed to get a few chores done and then back in bed with a mug of earl grey, an electric blanket and a couple of sweet pups. When I saw how much time had passed at one point, I felt that shame in my gut and told myself to knock it off, I’m enjoying this way too much to ruin it now! I think it’s another lesson in living in the moment and appreciating the chance to do these small comforts for ourselves when we need or just want to.
