wow - that a quick drop… bundle up
lovely to see you SB!
1 Like
That’s a great healthy glow you got going on now…!
2 Likes
Thank you!! Good to be back on here 
2 Likes
Welcome!! I hope you find this community of some help and motivation to get what you need! How you finding your sobriety so far? X
Just remember, this is an open forum and while there are automated systems in place as well as a team of moderators, sexual preditors have come here and preyed on our members.
I don’t know you or your relationship with other members, so seemingly random flirtatious comments about peoples appearances is very concerning, not only to me, but i would imagine to others, especially victims of sexual abuse and assault.
Let’s keep this a safe place for all by keeping those types of flirtatious comments to yourself.
18 Likes
Rule #2 - Talking Sober Rules and Guidelines
If you wouldn’t say the same thing to your co-worker, boss, head of HR or the CEO of your workplace, probably shouldn’t say it here. And if you would… don’t.
Here’s some suggestions:
Instead of saying
Maybe instead say: Cool
Instead of:
Just mash the like button
And instead of:
Try: Howdy pal, nice to see you again.
Thanks for your understanding. Peace.
14 Likes
This, to me, is the core of not only this thread, but the forum as a whole. 
A place where we often show up, first with our desire to be sober and maintain sobriety - then, with our vulnerability as we unpack and share some of the hard stuff of recovery and our lives when we weren’t sober.
Where we are challenged too sometimes, ideally with kindness, to be our best, or better, selves.
Where we share our journeys - the hard days and the celebrations!
I have often felt so seen, on this forum. Understood in all the right ways.
I mean no disrespect to anyone, but when I see anyone’s selfie?
It matters not how you look to me! It’s just so damn good to see you!
To see you here.
To see anyone here, and not out there.
Onward, friends. It’s good to see you.
Thanks to all who make this a safe space to share our inner and outer selves. 
24 Likes
I feel I need to say something since it was my selfie that brought the responses and even being flagged as “inappropriate” by some members. Which then made me so uncomfortable, I deleted the picture.
I came to this forum looking for support, I needed a place outside of Facebook, where people truly understood me. Where I could receive support, and where I could also give support. I read posts and comment trying to give those who are hurting or feel alone some hope, to let them know they’re not as alone as they thought. I post my own stories and struggles, in hopes of receiving support back, or as a means of sharing my own bit of wisdom, I’ve gained along the way.
I post selfies because like many of you, during my active addiction, I didn’t feel pretty. I didn’t feel good about myself. I didn’t feel healthy, I now do. I do not post for male attention. Honestly, getting comments from females is way more gratifying. I want some pretty queen to tell me I’m pretty also. Lol.
It is not women’s responsibility to make sure every man finds their outfit appropriate. Or every woman for that matter who wants to shame other women. Feeling as if we have to ask “does this outfit test well with the jury. Like we didn’t learn that in middle school where girls were sent home for wearing tank tops with straps thinner than two fingers. Like it isn’t made clear every time we put an outfit on us that we need to be “mindful” and “responsible” for the men around us so as not to let them assault us and ruin their own lives with the same two fingers they once used to measure our straps in school. Yes I completely understand there are people struggling with many different addictions in here, however if this is going to be considered a safe place for all, as long as no guidelines are broke, we should never be made to feel so uncomfortable we can’t post a picture because a man or woman might be triggered or make uncomfortable comments, due to an outfit someone wore to work that day.
18 Likes
If a bunch of long term members are telling you that your comment wasn’t okay you might want to listen. Just to be clear YOUR COMMENT WAS INAPPROPRIATE. The more you defend it the worse you look.
12 Likes
OMW to my 1st H&I service position! Takin’ the message of Hope into a detox center … the very same detox center where my journey towards Recovery began! I’m. So. Stoked!
38 Likes
I read back through, and agree the reaction was inappropriate and over the top, no need for that here.
I do however think it’s pretty shitty for someone to flag a person that was brave enough to post a selfie because they’re finally feeling good about themselves. Something many of us haven’t felt in quite a while. Unless the picture was inappropriate, but I’m gathering it wasn’t. I also think that when something is flagged it should say by who. Not to cause confrontation, but maybe it would help if that person could offer explanation.
7 Likes
I disagree with this, there is zero chance it wouldn’t result in conflict imo. However, when you flag there is an option to send a message to the person who you flagged or stay anonymous.
This space is for everybody, we are a diverse group who are all here for different reasons. We need to try and keep others in mind when we post. If someone feels a post breaks rules/ makes them uncomfortable they should flag it. It should kind of be our goal to not get a bunch of flags and error in the side of caution.
I’d also like to add that I’ve been flagged a few times and understand how that feels as well.
11 Likes
I get where you’re coming from, but there’s also people on here that just don’t like certain people, and use the flags to put them down anonymously because they know they’re not going to be questioned about it. I think we all know what’s really inappropriate and what isn’t. If someone decides they don’t like the gym selfie thread and throws a flag Everytime someone shows off some hard earned muscle in a tank top, we’re not gonna have a thread. I personally would just like to know if I did something wrong instead of feeling like I was being bullied. Just my opinion
4 Likes
I guess I’m pretty liberal. But I will say that if and when I decide to throw my first flag at someone, I’ll make sure they know who it came from and why.
4 Likes
That flag wouldn’t be approved… as far as the the rules go, here they are:
5 Likes
Any selfie with a cat gets a like from me. Cats are some of my favorite people.
15 Likes
I’m a dog person myself, but I understand exactly where you’re coming from
3 Likes
Oh, dogs are my friends too. Dog pics get likes from me as well.
3 Likes
Great sober days Emily!
2 Likes