This, to me, is the core of not only this thread, but the forum as a whole.
A place where we often show up, first with our desire to be sober and maintain sobriety - then, with our vulnerability as we unpack and share some of the hard stuff of recovery and our lives when we werenât sober.
Where we are challenged too sometimes, ideally with kindness, to be our best, or better, selves.
Where we share our journeys - the hard days and the celebrations!
I have often felt so seen, on this forum. Understood in all the right ways.
I mean no disrespect to anyone, but when I see anyoneâs selfie?
It matters not how you look to me! Itâs just so damn good to see you!
To see you here.
To see anyone here, and not out there.
Onward, friends. Itâs good to see you.
Thanks to all who make this a safe space to share our inner and outer selves.
I feel I need to say something since it was my selfie that brought the responses and even being flagged as âinappropriateâ by some members. Which then made me so uncomfortable, I deleted the picture.
I came to this forum looking for support, I needed a place outside of Facebook, where people truly understood me. Where I could receive support, and where I could also give support. I read posts and comment trying to give those who are hurting or feel alone some hope, to let them know theyâre not as alone as they thought. I post my own stories and struggles, in hopes of receiving support back, or as a means of sharing my own bit of wisdom, Iâve gained along the way.
I post selfies because like many of you, during my active addiction, I didnât feel pretty. I didnât feel good about myself. I didnât feel healthy, I now do. I do not post for male attention. Honestly, getting comments from females is way more gratifying. I want some pretty queen to tell me Iâm pretty also. Lol.
It is not womenâs responsibility to make sure every man finds their outfit appropriate. Or every woman for that matter who wants to shame other women. Feeling as if we have to ask âdoes this outfit test well with the jury. Like we didnât learn that in middle school where girls were sent home for wearing tank tops with straps thinner than two fingers. Like it isnât made clear every time we put an outfit on us that we need to be âmindfulâ and âresponsibleâ for the men around us so as not to let them assault us and ruin their own lives with the same two fingers they once used to measure our straps in school. Yes I completely understand there are people struggling with many different addictions in here, however if this is going to be considered a safe place for all, as long as no guidelines are broke, we should never be made to feel so uncomfortable we canât post a picture because a man or woman might be triggered or make uncomfortable comments, due to an outfit someone wore to work that day.
If a bunch of long term members are telling you that your comment wasnât okay you might want to listen. Just to be clear YOUR COMMENT WAS INAPPROPRIATE. The more you defend it the worse you look.
OMW to my 1st H&I service position! Takinâ the message of Hope into a detox center ⌠the very same detox center where my journey towards Recovery began! Iâm. So. Stoked!
I read back through, and agree the reaction was inappropriate and over the top, no need for that here.
I do however think itâs pretty shitty for someone to flag a person that was brave enough to post a selfie because theyâre finally feeling good about themselves. Something many of us havenât felt in quite a while. Unless the picture was inappropriate, but Iâm gathering it wasnât. I also think that when something is flagged it should say by who. Not to cause confrontation, but maybe it would help if that person could offer explanation.
I disagree with this, there is zero chance it wouldnât result in conflict imo. However, when you flag there is an option to send a message to the person who you flagged or stay anonymous.
This space is for everybody, we are a diverse group who are all here for different reasons. We need to try and keep others in mind when we post. If someone feels a post breaks rules/ makes them uncomfortable they should flag it. It should kind of be our goal to not get a bunch of flags and error in the side of caution.
Iâd also like to add that Iâve been flagged a few times and understand how that feels as well.
I get where youâre coming from, but thereâs also people on here that just donât like certain people, and use the flags to put them down anonymously because they know theyâre not going to be questioned about it. I think we all know whatâs really inappropriate and what isnât. If someone decides they donât like the gym selfie thread and throws a flag Everytime someone shows off some hard earned muscle in a tank top, weâre not gonna have a thread. I personally would just like to know if I did something wrong instead of feeling like I was being bullied. Just my opinion
I guess Iâm pretty liberal. But I will say that if and when I decide to throw my first flag at someone, Iâll make sure they know who it came from and why.
Ahhhh!!! Those are crazy big! Iâve always had an unreasonable fear of swimming in the ocean bc of what might be in there with me This did not help it!
This did not help it!
