I was clean for amonth, then 14 day now again after 14 days I relapse… Will try even harder this time, but this pattern of relapses is going on for years now…
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Today is a good day to be sober and clean. You’ve done it before. You probably encountered everyday challenges and fell back into long established patterns. The only remedy you know.
Here is a treasure of other patterns. Lots of people we can learn from. By reading, interacting.
Welcome 
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Its hard to break the cycle, I know. Believe me I know. Since i came to this community though, ive stayed sober for a year. But before… it was years. Now that i feel much morr stable in my sobriety, these are the things i noticed upon reflecting on my past failures:
- My environment. This included the state and cleanliness (or lackthereof) my home, the company I kept (both friends and family) and who my support system was (no one at the time)
- My routines. I thought about my patterns and what would take place before and after each relapse. A fight with my fiance or parents, some dumb thing at work, i searched for my triggers and have since found ways to ease my emotions when those triggers come up.
- What i would do for fun. Back then… for fun i drank. I have put a lot more energy into my hobbies and things that bring me ioy and it helped me a lot.
Journaling has also helped. Even if its just a couple sentences a day.
You got this!
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I believe in you @Hopelo 
glad you’ve picked yourself up and owned your relapse .start again today and learn from your yesterday s ,recovery is a journey of self discovery discarding old habits for new and healthy ones, believe in yourself be kind and give yourself positive thoughts
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Mabe try ameeting new mindset needed wish you well
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What are you doing besides just trying not to pick up? I abused cocaine, pills and alcohol for years and managed to abstain for months at a time. What I discovered was doing this alone never got me any solid time nor did I do any work on myself. Now that I’m actually working a program of recovery, I’ll be celebrating 5 years in a few days. Something I never imagined and hasn’t come easy. Life sure has been challenging, but not once did a drink or drug cross my mind.
According to AA, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. Do something different by participating daily in your own recovery.
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What program of recovery works for you? Todeay I deleted almost 600 contact from my phone annyone I connect with my problem (and a lot of useless old numbers:) so this tme I m wven mire serious to stay sober, we will see…
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Deleting numbers is a great step forward. I did the same and I felt like it solidified my commitment to a new way of life.
My recovery program started with an intensive outpatient program for about 3 months. Then I transitioned to Alcoholics Anonymous (Narcotics Anonymous doesn’t have a lot of meeting options in my area). I then got a sponsor and started working the 12 steps. Those steps have been life changing for me and still are. There are many other programs out there if AA or NA aren’t for you (SMART, Dharma Recovery, Celebratory Recovery etc).
Wishing you the best on your journey!
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Willpower can’t do it friend. You gotta find something beyond yourself…beyond your own self.
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What do you mean , exactly?
Higher Power.
Like Lisa and Ray have said above, an AA 12 step program working with a sponsor is a game changer.
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I also agree AA is a great resource. They give you tools to stay sober 1 day at a time. I am an alcoholic and cannot stay sober without a power greater than me. I am great but not controlling my drinking.
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I ll give this 12 step program a go… And at this moment i reslly belive i need some help fron higher power.
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not picking up can work for a short while, using negative force to repel using thoughts. then maybe we can get by for a bit by being non committal about using, not caring one way or another.
HIMO, lasting long term sobriety can only be maintained and furthered by embracing the positives of being sober, enjoying the gratitude it brings, and relishing in the basic good ness of life,
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On this note… i wanna tell you this because no one told me for a long time and going to meetings was hard for me at first. My spiritual beliefs do not align with traditional beliefs. I have a very eclectic view on religion. I wont get into it too much right now. You can message me if you’d like to know more. Long story short, i do believe in god but not in a traditional sense. Its a whole thing lol
The first few meetings i went to were very strict and adamant when it came to religion. It almost triggered a relapse for me. I felt rejected and like i wasnt worthy of sobriety because of my beliefs. @Aussie_Tiger worded it best. Believe in something bigger than yourself. A higher power of some kind. What helped me was finding a nondenominational AA group where all religons were truly accepted. There are tons of them out there. My first few groups were recommended by my mother in law who is lovely but very religious. She was insistent that i become catholic and had to be rebaptised and all that to get sober and face my demons. I love her for her support but it was too intense for me at first. I just wanted to let you know step one can be very overwhelming for some people but there are groups out there that are very open minded and accepting 
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How are you doing today 
Went to a funeral and relapsed again… feel like shit, still determant to make it work… again no alxohol no drugs no just one or two than go home, this stuff is either to strong or i am too weak, altough i am no weak pearson, but this shit seems to have my number
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Keep at it you will get there. Look into getting a sponsor!
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Neither! Sounds like you’re just like me and thousands of others. We are powerless but only after we take that first drink or drug, it never stops at just one or two.
Keep that determination going and never give up. Maybe you can come here and ask for help next time you’re in a tempting situation.
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Day three… This time i am going to make it!
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