This is good stuff!! 
Proud of you 
I have such a hard time with food noise and snacking and the occasional binge. What’s so frustrating is when I do good for a week or two and then binge. The food noise is always there though 
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Yay, I’m so happy for you that you talked it out!!!
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We call that the Compliment Sandwich at work
I’m glad you talked it out like two adults. It’s funny, I’ve had some kind of weird running dynamics with people too. I’m more like you. But I have come to understand that some people are more like your friend. Different expectations I guess.
And tell me about corporate America… it’s absolutely a circus where I work.
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That’s what my friend called it too- the compliment sandwich. I’m glad we talked it out like adults too. I have issues with confrontation, even if it’s like this was- just a difference of how we each saw the situation.
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Visited the dental hygienist today as part of my ongoing attempt to save as much of my teeth for as long as I can. Before starting the actual treatment we had a talk -on my initiative- about my fear of dental professionals, of how I tend to freeze in the chair when treatment gets underway and how this will cause my shoulder and whole arm to tighten, start aching and tingling badly. She asked me what I needed. I told her communication.
Talking about it helped, I didn’t tense up nearly as bad as with previous visits. My arm didn’t hurt half as bad. Another thing I tried to explain was how taking such bad care of my teeth for such a long time was actually a form of self hate, or to put it milder a lack of self love. Which she didn’t understand at first but which she came back to 15 minutes later, saying that actually she did recognize some of that in how she didn’t take good care of herself sometimes.
Three more treatments to go in the coming weeks. And lots of training ahead in better brushing and using other aides to prevent my teeth from falling out or rotting away. I do feel this was a pretty good moment in that struggle though. The talk we had at the beginning actually the most significant part. Communication and connection. The opposite of addiction is connection. Love.
Pic is an unrelated sweet memory, outside Buena Vista, Co, October 2019.
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Way to go facing your fears and taking care of yourself!!
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Checking in on day 114 smoke free, 93 binge eating free, day 48 snacking free.
Today I feel the urge to overeat as a way of compensating for having put myself into situations that were emotionally overwhelming. Being around other people, connecting, engaging, sharing space and energy — it was beautiful, and I’m deeply grateful for those moments of connection. And at the same time, it was a lot. Too many people, too much interaction, too much closeness all at once.
Eating too much numbs everything. I know this feeling. I know how I will feel afterward — physically unwell, emotionally drained, and still overwhelmed, maybe even more so.
Today I have time for myself. I’m glad I have space to be alone and regulate. And I’m grateful that you’re here.
Have a peaceful day everyone 
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Hi everyone first time on here and have enjoyed all the conversations. I am 5 days sober and struggling with the thoughts of drinking. I have returned to AA meetings for support but definitely have the God or Higher Power problem. I had a conversation with a dear friend and she shared with me that she felt unloved or accepted by God and that not believing gave her a sense of not wanting to live. This troubled me because I do not believe in god and do not feel that I need to be loved or accepted by anything but self love. She asked me if I felt separated or disconnected from the group and I do not feel that but when I hear that I have to have a higher power to relieve my alcoholism I shut down. I do not want to drink again so I started on a medication from my Dr to help my cravings. I believe that I can not get across the street by prayer, I have to take the action to get there and prayer has nothing to do with it. Trying to navigate the support of the AA program without having to swallow the higher power.
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Hey Erin,
welcome to the forum. I’m really glad you found us and this thread. And congratulations on 5 days sober, that’s an amazing start!
Personally, I don’t think you need a HP to overcome addiction. What you do need, though, is connection and support. I think the idea of a HP is often more about feeling connected — to others, to something bigger than yourself, to shared values.
I don’t believe in God anymore. I believe in humanism and in the incredible things we as human beings are capable of. Some might say that could serve as a HP. Since I don’t attend AA, though, I don’t feel the need to define one.
If you want to continue with AA, it might help to think about the values you believe in and let those guide you as your HP, if that feels right for you.
There are also programs that don’t use the HP concept, such as SMART Recovery. They offer many online meetings — maybe you’d like to try one?
I wish you the absolutely best for your recovery. Come always here befor you drink. We are in this together
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I think a lot of my struggles with “higher power” in the past have been caused by getting bogged down by words. When I hear someone talking about prayers, it just doesn’t do it for me. It isn’t something I can resonate with - however I do believe in the power of the mind, so I think of prayers as affirmations, mantras, etc. those are things which I believe do more good than praying to some bloke with a beard in the sky - even if the only thing actually changing is what I am naming it.
Like @DanielaJ said, a “higher power” could be connection. For someone religious, it might be a deity. But whatever someone else’s interpretation of a higher power is, it shouldn’t be used to invalidate your feelings or stop you from going to a 12 step group in order to recover from addiction.
Tradition 3 in the AA blue book says that the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Nothing about believing in god, nothing about believing in a higher power.
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Thank you sooooo much. I really appreciate that there is more than one way to skin a cat a they say!
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If you can look around all the god and higher power stuff in AA and the steps and find help in your recovery, congrats and please do. Totally. We all have to find our own roads. It’s just not my way.
I don’t want to discuss AA here. Not on this forum, unless I am personally attacked for the way I go about my re/discovery. And believe me I have been, on this forum. Only quoting tradition 3 is cherry picking - a practice I have been accused of more than once here, by people active in AA.
And I certainly don’t want to discuss AA on this thread, and even less the ways in which people can make a HP work for them. Read the first post for that please. This thread is aimed at people that find their way through their sobriety without a HP of any kind. End of. And also this thread wants to be a safe place from discussions about HP’s and related stuff. I understand you’re trying to find your own way, trying to make AA work for you, I believe in your integrity, I still ask you not to discuss HP’s on this thread. Thanks.
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Welcome! This thread is specifically for atheists/nontheists to discuss how they are working their recovery. If you search “higher power” you will find literally hundreds of threads where that is discussed and it could help you. We just want to keep this thread on track with its original intent. Thanks and welcome again!
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Thank you @Mno and @RosaCanDo for reminding me. I apologize.
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It’s OK Daniela. I wish we could talk about this stuff in a normal civilized way. I know from being here for 2442 days that is not possible. I would say let us start another thread about being in AA or using a HP without any notion of a deity but I’m not saying that because I know where it would lead.
This thread is not the place for that discussion. I feel protective of this space because the sole fact this thread exists angers people. Thanks for being here friend 
.
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That always just blows my mind a little.
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This thread doesn’t anger anyone more than the overly religious thread’s anger us sometimes. Everyone is human around that type of stuff
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Thank you Menno for protecting our thread. I am sorry you had to experience in the past that your opinion and values are not validated.
I am so glad you are here on TS and I got to meet you, friend
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We’re all human, but as far as I know none of ‘us’ goes over to any ‘overly religious thread’ to be angry at it. I sure don’t. I stay in my own lane. I wish people who get offended by some of the content here did the same. This is just the one thread. As the moderators always say, there’s a mute button. I do get irritated and triggered when overly religious and proselytizing posts spill over in the general threads like the check in. That’s something different though.
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