Day 4… and I’m not going to lie… it’s not as easy as the first time
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Life has just been…. Very overwhelming and seems that I have very little control over a lot of things
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I never used to understand why people said it was a “progressive disease” until I experienced more and more difficult times coming back from a major relapse. It is my experience that it gets harder each time to feel better and recover both physically and mentally in the short run, let alone the long run. It sounds cliche but I hold on to the thought that I never have to feel that way again. Nor do you. We’re here with you, my friend. Hang in there and it WILL get better.
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I am understanding that as well… this last time was a pretty big relapse. So many things I regret while going through that. Yet I still have that thought when my days are bad that there is a way to “make it better”… but that is a complete lie. I’m just trying to remind myself of the why and the feelings and emotions that I had afterwards
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Those are good things to keep in mind. Have you tried writing anything down to cement it in your mind and to refer back to when you need a reminder? I always have my lists handy in a pinch.
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I think I do need to do that and see exactly why I am choosing sobriety
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It’s really helped me. It even helped me to write down the reasons that I drank and what I perceived as how it was worth it to me at one time. Rather than ignore how I thought it was helping me once, I could mentally confront that and challenge it by countering with why that was not true and why I choose sobriety, just like you said.
I’m just so glad you’re here with us, too. My PM is open anytime, too, chica.
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Thank you Rosa 
I’m going to start writing things down and I so appreciate you being there for me
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Anytime. Sending love and strength your way, amiga 
Get after it, you can do this.
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I am definitely trying to work on the things I can control but unfortunately I do struggle with this and have struggled with it my whole life. I am in therapy for a number of things and that is one of them.
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Totally agree,no recovery is the same and my view is you believe in yourself end of story only person who knows you well enough is “YOUR SELF”.
Higher power or not ,god or not…
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Here’s hoping you got some rest tonight Jess 
.
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I like the sound of this. It’s very true. We know ourselves best and we are responsible then to show up for ourselves, too. We can lean on support and assistance from other people, services, treatments, etc., but it still is down to us caring about and for ourselves.
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This is so great to hear.
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Hiya…so glad to be here. I’ve been sober for 130 days now, I am slowly getting back to my old true self before I met face to face with gambling addiction. I have visited 3 GA meetings since I quit, but it’s not my cup of tea…we have different views about the core of addiction and how to accept it, me and them, and while it’s not a problem for me, it is for them. I hold only myself responsible for each relapse I’ve had in the past and think I have control over (most of) my actions, not a higher power. I should mention this is my first true attempt to quit gambling, because the previous ones I didn’t really want to quit forever, and therefore I failed. This time I felt and knew I hit my personal bottom, so there were two choices - drown or save myself from this. I chose to save myself. I will be happy to exchange some sober life thoughts here! 
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Unfortunately, from what I can see, it’s a program available in Canada and US only…
I’ll look into that, thank you!
SMART has a big online presence too, including online meetings. Maybe an option when they’re not around where you are. They aren’t here in the Netherlands. And welcome to thread Sophie!
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Hey, so I like the idea of this thread a lot. I grew up in a religious home but me myself is not religious. There’s just way too many questions and concerns but that’s beside the point. One of the things that made rehab really uncomfortable for me and I seemed to have nobody on my side was the whole ideal of “God”, “him”, a “higher power” and now that I’m trying to get back into AA meetings, there a group I’ve started to attend every Wednesdays and the group of people are amazing because not only is it about sobriety but it’s about bettering yourself as a whole and I’ve met a lot of great people but again the constant use of god and a higher power and being told to pray really turns me off and makes me not want to attend the meetings anymore but I don’t want to just chicken out. I guess I’m just not sure what to do when it comes to the subject but I don’t want to just miss out on meetings unless there’s a non religious group meeting I’m not familiar with? I have no clue and I’m not too sure how active this thread is, I will definitely read past comments and soak in some new knowledge but hopefully I’m able to find some friends out of it and a solution about it IRL issue with AA.
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