Sober without god. An atheist / agnostic / humanist thread. Please be respectful!

[anon9289869]

[icebear]

30 days! Way to go @anon59754122!

[Mno]

[Thirdmonkey]

Congratulations

[anon59754122]

Thank you guys!
It means so much!!

[RosaCanDo]

I was a bit hesitant to put this in the mental health memes thread, but it really felt right to me. I do want to link to it here and I’d be interested to hear your thoughts. (A side note, this was shared on social media by a friend of mine who is a chaplain at a hospice).

Mental health memes and discussion (Part 2)

This is one of the popular sayings out there that has screwed with my mental health significantly. I’d pin this under toxic positivity, because it has lead me to feel so much guilt and shame for wishing that some horrible events had just not happened when people have told me there is a “reason” for it, especially if it’s described as outside of my ability to understand. Sometimes, shit just happens and there is no meaning in it. That’s not to say that in retrospect we can’t find meaning in some…

[SassyRocks]

I can understand your questioning of this statement and it being detrimental to your mental health. Of course we can look back decades later and see that if X hadn’t happened, then Y would not have been possible. In the same vein tho, if X hadn’t happened, perhaps an entirely different Y would have happened.

I guess for myself, when I hear the statement, ‘everything happens for a reason’ … I see it as someone trying to comfort themselves or another from the reality that life involves great pain…to push away the pain…versus allowing it to flow into and thru us. Our birthright is not happiness and ease, nor is it pain and suffering…it is all of it.

I am reminded of this from Pema…

[RosaCanDo]

@SassyRocks

Our birthright is not happiness and ease, nor is it pain and suffering…it is all of it.

YES! This is so important to me to understand and live by. Thanks, Sassy.

[SassyRocks]

Me too Rosa…tho I forget often. Let go, or be dragged…always.

[Mno]

I was born in 1965, with the shadow and burden of the Holocaust and WWII still hanging over Europe like a dark cloud. And over my family and myself too. And being slightly obsessed with that history since I was a small child I find and found it totally impossible to see things that way. I understand believing the opposite, that nothing happens for a reason, might be hard for many. It’s how I see things though, as for me the alternative would be so much worse. And I can still fight to make my life and my world, and that of others, as good as possible.

[OldDogNewTricks]

Coming up in 11 months sober without god! A few days away.

[Dolse71]

God, No God. All I know is before I worry about what other people are thinking I better take a long hard look at myself first.
I’ve got enough in common with other addicts and alcoholics to keep me going for a little while.

[siand]

I know I am late to this, but this really struck a chord with me

@Chiron

Some may not even realize how obviously their behavior has changed, or even really understand why they suddenly feel so different about you.

I remember my boyfriend telling me he was religious some years ago. We were both very drunk. I lost my shit. I think I felt like it would mean he wouldn’t be able to be with me any more, or couldn’t want to be with him any more. That seems so ridiculous now. My perception of religion was so narrow and I let that lead my emotions.

We’re still together, it’s fine.

[siand]

@Dolse71

I’ve got enough in common with other addicts and alcoholics to keep me going for a little while

Yes! That is why I love this forum, being able to engage with and learn from people whatever their approach to sobriety.

And cool to have spaces for each of those approaches, as well as the more general crossover everything goes threads

[Mno]

Good to see you Kai! And good to see you sober too!

[RosaCanDo]

That’s great, Paul. I agree with you in principle, but I’m curious what compelled you to post this in a thread for godless folks looking to make some space for ourselves in a forum that’s got a lot of god going on? Your post feels like a critique at best, and kind of a slap in the face at worst.

[Dolse71]

not at all it was me thinking out loud about myself. This God thing is a sensitive subject and I’ve sat on both sides of the fence. 48 years I laughed in the face of anyone who believed in a god and now in desperation I pray every morning for the strength not to pick up a drink.
So yep I would do well to look at myself before i voice my opinion.

I’m definitely not in a position to be slapping faces.

[RosaCanDo]

Well, it can be quite difficult for folks who go against the vocal contingency to carve out their space, so we/I may be protective of it.

[Mno]

Paul, good for you. I respect you as a person and I respect how you do your recovery. But what your posting about is off topic for this thread. See the first post. This is a thread for recovery without god. End off.

[Dolse71]

Anyway to keep on topic I got 18 months sober as an atheist, that’s the second longest I’ve ever been sober, and if I had known someone then with more experience than me who told me I was never going to be able to pick up one drink and it would be enough I would still be an atheist.
Whatever I’ve come to believe in is just another sobriety tool for me and so far so good but for me personally the most valuable thing I’ve had is the support of people like yourself and others who know exactly how I feel and think.