Have a look at some of the resources here & see if any of them speak to you. Don’t get too hung up on labels at this point - don’t worry if you’re an “alcoholic” or not (who cares? Is there a problem? Ok. Let’s deal with it.) - just listen in on some of the meetings, hear what people have to say, don’t feel pressured, just reflect:
Online meeting resources
Another area to look is here:
Resources for our recovery
Hopefully these will help reflect on some of the experiences you’ve had 