I’ve been sober a year and 5 months and lately things have been getting harder and harder. They say they first few days, weeks, months are the hardest. I’d have to disagree… This time has been the hardest for me. I’ve had a couple bumps in the road which is disappointing to say the least… I’ve come so fucking far and have so much to fight for and yet I feel like I’m going to start losing myself again!! I have the more then enough things to keep me motivated to stay sober but why, why are they not motivating me!?! It’s not that I don’t care because I do! I really do! It’s like something in my head is just not allowing me the gratification I once felt for staying sober, If that even makes sense… I don’t know how else to word it… Has anyone else ever felt this way?? Does anyone else ever feel this way?? Please tell me I’m not alone!!! Please help me talk some damn sense into myself because I know it’s not worth it!! I know I have too much to lose!!
I don’t. I want to go to meetings again. I really need to look into of they’re doing them in my area again, because I’ve tried the virtual thing and it’s so not for me.
First off, congrats on your year and 5 months! That’s huge.
Do you have a sense of when the anxiety started showing itself in your life? Do you have any way of tying it to any particular life event or stressor that has happened? You say that sobriety is giving you anxiety. Perhaps it is that something is causing you anxiety and you may not have coping skills to deal with it other than having used alcohol in the past. I only can speak for myself, I used alcohol to cope with anxious thoughts and feelings and then realized it was only causing more anxiety. When I learned ways to cope with anxiety through therapy and some self help resources, I could manage it better. I still get anxious, but not to the level I did while drinking.
Hang in there - alcohol is no help with anxiety at all. It will just make things worse.
Keep on keeping on!
I’m sure meetings will help! Being around other peers will help you get out of your head, for sure.
If you can, go to some meetings. My favorite is a women’s meeting I go to every Sunday. They say, “Meeting makers make it.” Also, getting a sponsor and working the steps would make it easier to stay sober. Good luck - I’m rooting for you.
I’m sorry your struggling Ursula. Do you do a daily gratitude practice?
I do it on here Daily Gratitude, The Air Of Recovery - #2220 by Butterflymoonwoman
Every day for the last 956 days. I’ve got so much to be grateful for when I’m sober. Writing it down each morning and sometimes twice a day when I’m struggling has retrained my brain. I find it to be my strongest tool. Come check us out if your willing. It’s helpful to read what others are grateful for too in their recovery.
Being active on this app also has been a sober lifesaver for me.
I hope to see you around.
Gratitude can have such a powerful impact on your life because it engages your brain in a virtuous cycle. Your brain has only so much power to focus its attention. It cannot easily focus on both positive and negative stimuli.
I know exactly how you feel!! I wish I could give you an answer but I can’t cause that’s how I felt 3 days after my 6 months without my weed and then hell broke loose and i lost it. Now i sit here 35 days again.
Everyone keeps telling me this is part of the process but i feel this part of the process never stops. I am on #6 release, so frustrating. I guess after 34/35 years of smoking day in and day out I will have these days.
I wish you the best and keep it up! You got this. You can do this. 