I made it through my first day of being sober after many many relapses. I’m hoping I can stay disciplined and stick to it this time! I only struggle when I am home alone or in social event settings. I hate being in my own thoughts and I drink to numb the pain of my struggle in life. But I know longer want to push away my problems and feelings by drinking. I really want to get through this once and for all
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That’s right! We can embrace the problems and feelings by living honest, open, and willing. Then those problems and feelings will somehow seem welcomed.
Good to have you here with us.
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Oh, also, have you looked into Internal Family Systems? That and mindfulness exercises are key for me in forming good relationships with the voices in my head.
Right on, Megs. So glad you’re here and wanting to do life differently. I see you identified your known weak spots. I too had a difficulty with alone time & definitely being in my head was a bad spot. I learned by doing, and doing things keeps me out of this alcoholic mind. Social settings I avoided for the first 6 months. Didn’t eat at a bar/grill for the first year. Things I picked up from others in recovery and AA I’ve applied and it works. As long as I put in the time & effort to be helpful to others, stick to my program and be honest to all, especially myself, I know I can make it another day!
You no doubt deserve it as well. Time to treat yourself to a happy & healthy life!
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I have not! What is that?
This sounds exactly like me. We know ourselves and we both know we can not go back as it no longer serves us any purpose but destroying our livelihood. Find your will in your higher power. Talk to yourself in the mirror even if you have to. It gets better. I know I’m not going back to alcohol it’s taken away too much from who I really am not in on a journey to find the best me. You got this.
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First weeks are tough. It helped me a lot to make a plan for it. For example: you discovered that your hardest struggles are when you are alone ore in some social settings. So think trough what would help you in this kind of situations.
It used to be alcohol, but now you try a plan B. Make a list of things that can help, try them all and keep those that work for you.
I will share you a link to my own sober plan I made more then 6 years ago.
The first months of my recovery I walked a lot in nature. It helped me to calm down and get out of my head. Sometimes I listened to a recovery podcast like “recovery elevator” to find extra motivation.
First 3 months I avoided every alcohol related event. And even now I’m 6,5 years sober I think through which drink I want to order before I go to a special event that triggers me.
Hope you find something you can use in your recovery too and if not this forum is filled with golden nuggets 
All the best, Claudia 
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Great news. Don’t try to conquer the world.. just stay sober today and keep letting us know your progress 
Recovery is a “We” thing 
Welcome 
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Welcome to the best sobriety app on the planet, it’s great to have you with us 
This forum is jam packed with information, ideas, support, suggestions and humour, you just need to dive in and read, read, read.
Sadly, this isn’t the full solution to our addictions 
We need direction, a program of recovery and the desire to work that program to the best of your ability.
I found mine in AA over 21 years ago and haven’t looked back once.
AA isn’t for everyone, but there are many other flavours of recovery program available today, F2F meetings and online meetings available 24/7.
When I first started it was AA or nothing, please find your local AA group and give it a try, do a few meetings before you make any decisions about it.
If you don’t like it “we will gladly refund your misery” and you don’t have to go back.
The voices in our heads are annoyingly real and I’ve found they keep on harping on about our failures, guilt, mistakes, embarrassments, social blunders and regrets.
They never talk about our successes, our compassion, the help we’ve given to others or the many good things we’ve done 
There’s a saying, 'the past is history, the futures a mistery, it tells us to live in the present, it’s the only thing we can do anything about.
You can’t change the past you never could and you never will be able to do so 
We will not regret the past nor wish
to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
That is one of my favourite passages from the BB of AA. We can always learn from the past, but, just don’t dwell on it.
From your post you’ve made the right decision and you don’t want to go back to being the main character in your very own alcoholic nightmare.
For your first 3 months at least don’t go into wet places ie bars, restaurants or anywhere else that sells booze.
Avoid social functions where there’s alcohol available.
Try and work out what your ‘triggers’ are, places, people, old routines etc.
If being alone is a problem try something new, a new hobby, going to meetings, learn a new skill, get a cat or dog which gives you a responsibility and you’ll never be alone 
Really anything to keep yourself busy.
I walked a lot in early recovery and mean a lot, going at a brisk pace so I couldn’t hear the voices over my laboured breathing, I still walk and I’ve always got the company of my 2 dogs Aengus & Dylan and maybe one of the catz will tag along
So, I think you’ve got the right mindset to do kick the booze for good, but you can’t do it by yourself, alcohol is far
too powerful, you need help, get it wherever can find it.
You’ll definitely get help here, keep coming back and it only works if you Work it.
I’d wish you luck on your sober journey, but luck has nothing to do with it.
It’s a daily battle you can only win by going to bed sober and please remind yourself “it’s only for today” and it’s always “One Day At A Time” (ODAAT)
Stay strong and stay sober, it’s always the first drink that gets you drunk not the last, so if you don’t pick up that first drink you’ve got a good chance of staying sober ODAAT.
&
Welcome. Home alone and social settings were danger zones for me too. For home alone time I made a schedule that started with some recovery work (reading quit lit, an online meeting or something) and then planned out what work, cleaning, Netflix, etc I would do. And to bed early. For social stuff, I avoided bar related stuff and met just close friends at coffee shops, etc. Later when I wanted to try rare evening stuff, I made my focus the food and keep my glass of ginger ale always full.
You can do it!
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“Don’t try to conquer the world.. just stay sober today”
Yes!
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