Welcome @smkenne 
You are not alone. Many of us have been in the same situation, ashamed and anxious. It does pass as you get clear, but it takes a little time.
You’re in the right place to stay safe though. Talking Sober is full of people just like you who want to be clean & clear, who want to feel acceptance about themselves. It is possible, one day at a time.
The checkin thread is helpful for many people:
Checking in daily to maintain focus #39
The gratitude thread helps too!
Daily Gratitude List. Gratitude The Air Of Recovery
And just scrolling around, finding some threads you like, sharing, reading connecting. You’re in your space here. You belong. You’re a good person and you deserve to have a safe, clear life where you accept yourself. 