Starting again after Cancun

Before 2020, I struggled on and off with alcohol. Alcohol has stolen a lot from me. One DUI, hospitalizations, a trip to a rehab where I quickly signed back out, jail, broken relationships and friendships, tension with family, the inability to be the mother and person I truly want to be. But these were just spontaneous episodes and not daily life and for the most part I could function quite well. Until I couldn’t function quite well and black out and ruin my life in one night with risky behavior and decisions.

In 2020, I showed my ass off at a wedding reception. I was sober for 9 months. My relationship was in shambles. I broke my sobriety. I tried to hop back on, I was sober for 6 months and I fell back off. And then again for years, yo yo drinking and not drinking.

I went on a vacation to Cancun recently, all inclusive. I drank all 5 days. When I left I decided maybe it was time to jump back on the sobriety train. Nothing happened on this trip. I didn’t even get drunk once. I just feel like having all access did the opposite affect and then I realized how little fun it really was? I’m not sure.

Nothing bad or drastic preceded this new decision. But I downloaded this app and tomorrow will be my first full week not drinking.

I haven’t told many people in real life yet because I want it to stick first.

I think I’ve finally learned that alcohol doesn’t serve me. It’s not really that fun. It makes me desperate, stupid, unmotivated, tired, and fat tbh.

I’m just writing to write I guess. I’m actually quite happy and content about my decision.

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Thanks for sharing your story, congrats on reaching nearly a week of sober time and welcome to Talking Sober Harley!
I’ve come to realize that the most important thing missing in my life when I drank was connection. True connection to other people, and especially people who are in the same boat as I am. I found that here. I learned here that ‘we’re in this together’ isn’t a hollow phrase. It’s true. Drinking made me isolated, didn’t matter by how many people I was surrounded. Sober me learned I couldn’t and can’t do it alone.

I don’t know, that’s what your story made me think and feel and write. Welcome again, glad to have you aboard, and wishing you a great journey. :people_hugging:

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Welcome, I’m a little bit like you. Have been hanging around here all and all 4 years now.

With a lot of drinking and days ones in between.
Now I’m starting over again and is currently in day 35.

The best we can do is to try again and never give up.

Hanging around here has helped me a lot.
Just like @Mno says it helps knowing that you’re not alone.

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This is an important realization. Maybe you’re finally to the point of just really ready give it up and take back control of your life. Wish the best for you, and welcome to the community Harley. :v:

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Welcome, Harley, and thanks for sharing your story. TS made all the difference for me, and I hope it does the same for you. Lots of support and kind people here, so visit often if you can. I made a commitment to check in here every day and I’m now closing in on 9 months sober. Before TS, I had a yo-yo relationship with alcohol too. So glad you are here!:pray::heart: