I had to reset my sober date. I am really having a hard time with staying sober. I went 24 days and then had a bad day and drank. I feel so ashamed this is soo hard.
Maybe try a meeting might help wish you well
What is your plan ?
There is a huge difference between not drinking, and recovering.
Not drinking is good of course, but it doesnât change a thing about the reasons you were drinking⌠usually, we used to run away from something like negative emotions.
Whatâs your plan to deal with those reasons ?
Welcome back Sarah, itâs hard I know. We know something isnât helping us but we go to it anyway - like water flowing across a riverbed. The waterâs been flowing there so long that it goes there by default.
Getting sober is about changing the way the river flows. It is possible to change where a river flows - it is possible to build dams and dykes, to redirect the water - but it is impossible to do it alone. (Not even beavers can do it alone, and theyâve got those huge teeth to help them!)
Itâs also impossible to change where a river flows if you donât have a plan. This is where sober supports from groups help (like these: www.AA.org or Online meeting resources or www.InTheRooms.com or other alcohol / addiction recovery spaces). Groups and their programs connect us with people and methods that help us change the way our river flows.
Take care Sarah and donât give up. All humans get just one day at a time, and you do too. Just focus on today.
Do you mind if I ask what happened on the bad day you mentioned?
Hey Sarah. I totally understand the shame, Iâve been there before also (many times). Resetting sux and yep those early days are haaaard. Are you working a program or have any supports around you?
Building up support really helps, I created like a âtoolboxâ which included things like going to AA meetings, getting involved on this forum, lots of self care, having a friend I could call, deep breathing and running. Lots of running and walking lol.
I also took it ODAAT (one day at a time), I still do at 3 years sober. But in those early days, I would focus ONLY on the next 24 hours and sometimes it would be taking it hour by hour to get me through it. Pledging each morning that no matter what, no matter what , that just for today I would not pick up that first drink. And the next day I would repeat it and eventually it became easier and I found healthier coping mechanisms and supports to help get me through.
So to answer your question âcan I do thisâ? Hell yes you can do this!!! Donât give up trying and keep finding things that will help get you through these bad days, you totally can do this. Tomorrow is a brand new day xx
I would just like to remind you that drinking and using was a big part of our lives and when we give it up we have this hole in our lives and is no longer complete. Even with drinking as sucky as our lives was, it was our life. So when you give up drinking drugging or whatever your poison may be, you have to replace it. Let me repeat that you have to replace it with something else.
A hobby walking going to the gym joining sober clubs were sober. Folks get together and go bowling or go to the movies. Bottom line is if you donât change your routine and replace your drinking with a non-drinking activity, we will relapse guaranteed. I lost 10 years of sobriety and itâs taking me over 4 years to get it back.
Early in sobriety, you need to make drastic changes to your daily routine and I mean drastic changes. I gave up some of my best friends left to my job. Moved into a new place not to get away from my alcoholism because it travels along with us. I just had to get away from people who didnât have a problem with drinking like I did. I just couldnât hang out with him anymore.
Hang in there. I promise it does get easier but at the same token we can never ever let our guard down. Our addiction follow follows us around like a criminal. Just waiting for us to make a mistake so he can steal our sobriety; forever.
You also must come to grips with the fact that you can never ever be a social drinker or drink again.
Weâve all been where you are. Just find what works for you and work it. Best of luck to you!
This is an excellent post, thank you