Starting over, again...would love success stories and support

[CaptainBly]

Hello, my name is Rebecca. I am 51 and have been drinking since about 14 years old. I have tried to quit many, many times for about 5 years. After a bad incident while I was blacked out I was really motivated and kept sober for 27 days when I relapsed and then 2 days later relapsed again. So here I am, day 1. How is it done? Please share your stories.

[Thirdmonkey]

Welcome. This place saved my life. Get really active here. Lots of advice to read, lot of success stories, a bunch of cautionary tales of failure. I found friends here…I found my life here.

[CaptainBly]

I had hard times at AA meetings in the past because I have a huge fear of being the focus, speaking in public and sharing in person. I found this community feed and am feeling really positive. I love being able to share but I fear people seeing me when I share.

[CaptainBly]

Here I feel more comfortable sharing, it feels safe.

[SinceIAwoke]

Welcome to our corner of the world. Here are a couple of threads that give details on what folks here have done to get and stay sober. Blessings on your house as you begin your journey!

2 years sober and what helped me to get there:

2 days ago I celebrated my 2 years sober again. Again, because years ago I had a long stretch of sober days too but relapsed after 5 years. My doc is alcohol. I started to drink when I was 16 year or so and it increased in my student days. I noticed I had a problem around the aged of 30 I guess. Tried to quit multiple times but couldn’t get more then 30 days sober Decided to give myself an ultimatum: 1 year. 1 year to get sober myself otherwise I would go to see my doctor and ask fo…

Resources for our recovery

There are so many helpful resources available to us on our sober journeys. I wanted to share this list for those who are interested in non traditional resources. Please note: I created this with alcohol recovery in mind and it is U.S. based as well. As a straight white past middle age woman, it is based on what resonated and helped me in my journey. Over time, I have added in resources for some other addictions (found at the end of this post), but it is heavy with resources for alcohol recovery…

[CaptainBly]

I read every single word. Thank you for your support and for sharing your inspiration and experience!

[SassyRocks]

Welcome Rebecca!!! I was 56 when I got sober, drinking and drugs since 15. It is hard, but it can be done. And day by day I found myself 6 freaking years sober. I still cannot believe it sometimes. I tried for so long. You can read more of my story below if you are interested. It really helped me to be here daily and read read read. Hope to see you around.

A lifelong drinker hits 1200 days sober

I spent more than 40 years drinking and using various drugs. It was all I knew. It was social and ‘fun’, until it wasn’t. My drinking wasn’t ‘fun’ or normal for a couple of decades, but denial and lethargy can keep you stuck…and that pull of oblivion at the bottom of the never ending wine bottle was my friend. I spent decades jumping from one addiction to another to avoid ‘life’ and my self…yet still I did all the adult stuff of home, family, work…the epitome of a ‘functioning alcoholic’…never s…

[CaptainBly]

Hi SassyRocks, wow! I relate to so much of what you wrote. I will be reading a lot more here, it’s very inspiring. For me, the “functioning” drunk worked for many years (I would like to think it worked), but took an ugly turn. I am so embarrassed by my actions in the past that sometimes I want to drink to forget. How stupid is that?

[JazzyS]

Hi Rebecca
You’ve come to a great community – I agree with @Thirdmonkey Do get super active here - read through the posts, talk out your urges so we can help you with them. I do find using the Checking in daily to maintain focus #55to be great to keep us accountable and also layout where we are mentally/ emotionally and physically each day.
I can understand that AA meetings in person can be a bit daunting. Have you tried doing the online meetings? You don’t have to turn on your camera or even talk until you are ready to participate. They do offer many that are running 24 hours. A go to app for most is In The Rooms.
The beginning is super hard so do find some support in real life and stay connected here. Also it may be helpful to change up your routines and have a go to activity or non alcoholic drink to sip on when your urges arise.
Yeah to day 1 - hope to see you around

[Sonny]

@CaptainBly

I had hard times at AA meetings in the past because I have a huge fear of being the focus, speaking in public and sharing in person.

I went to AA meetings for a little over a year. I always felt better after a meeting, but one thing I found odd is no one really commented on what people said. There was no discussion, confirmation, advice, etc. People just said what was on their mind and the meeting moved on like they didn’t say anything at all. Maybe it was that particular group, or maybe that’s the way they’re supposed to operate? I don’t have enough experience with AA to know for sure.

I’ll just say, both times I attempted to quit for good, not just take a break to recover, (this is time #2), something traumatic happened in life that led to the decision. Both related to alcohol. It took that second strike as well as health problems to really wake me up and realize I may not make it through strike 3 alive.

I’m kind of new here myself and it seems like a good place to get support and advice from people who know what you’re going through. I won’t totally discredit AA since there’s a certain something you get out of seeing and hearing people talk in the same room that you don’t quite get online. I just wish it was more of a discussion group than a listening group.

[CaptainBly]

You’ve hit on the head. I have been dealing with a lot of trauma. My husband was emotionally, verbally and, at times, physically abusive. We divorced in 2005. Drinking is a norm for me. Who else do I have? What else do I have?

[SassyRocks]

I hear you and understand. It really is easier to just keep doing what we do (did) …hiding our true selves away in fear and guilt, shame and embarrassment. We can chamge tho. You can change. Believe in yourself.

[SoberWalker]

Hi Rebecca,

Welcome here!
You will find my story in the info @SinceIAwoke already left here.
“2 years sober and what helped me to get here” is my story
Still sober, almost 5 years now.
Read here all you can would be my advice. Read and try all the tips you find. Keep the ones that work and trow away the rest.
It will leave you with a toolbox filled with many things you can do to remain sober.

See you around

[J_Lo_Ste]

Having a good safe place here is a great way to start

[TrustyBird]

@CaptainBly

Who else do I have? What else do I have?

You’ve got us and you’ve got a fresh start ahead of you. Welcome aboard.

My first few days I read everything on here that I could to distract myself from drinking thoughts. Stack up some sober days with us and reach out when you need support. You have made an excellent choice.

[CaptainBly]

Did a lot of reading last night and it was extremely helpful. Yesterday was a little hard. I have been diagnosed pre-diabetic and so along with drinking I have to make a huge lifestyle change with food as well. So I had to go to grocery store yesterday, twice. The grocery store is my hot spot. Entire aisles and fridges for wine. I go a different direction to avoid that only to be heading straight for the deli, which smells of deliciousness. I would have caved but the line was too long. I left successful. Same thing happened when I had to go later. I actually ordered someone at deli but they were out. That gave me the chance to rethink and I left again successful.

Both times I sat in parking lot afterwards trying to “think through the drink” and realize the connection between booze and food. God was with me yesterday, giving me strength.

I read here for a long time last night and it truly helped.

[TrustyBird]

Well done! You flexed your sober muscles which means they will be that much stronger next time they are called into action.

Think through the drink is probably similar to my favorite technique which is to play the tape all the way to the end. If I am trying to talk myself into one (just one, right?) drink I visualize myself at every step of that process until the end. That first through 3rd, 5th, 8th drink is less appealing when I visualize myself slurring or driving drunk or struggling to pay bills in a year or seeking out joy in my life again.

Keep reminding yourself why you started. Then work for the health and happiness that you are craving. Well done!!

[CaptainBly]

Just one… I always think I can get the buzz I need from a little amount. Of course, once that drink is done the buzzed me needs to feel a little more. Like you said, 1…3…7…9, etc. Then the slurring, drunk driving, falling down, spending money I don’t have, struggling with bills, constantly. I spent all of my IRA on wine and pot. It’s a deep, dark, stinky pit. I’m feeling strong today. Spilling all of my skeletons and reading other shares is tremendously helpful.

[TrustyBird]

I try to remember all those things and the reasons that I have quit. Then when that tricky little voice tells me that I can have one drink, which I can, my mind can remember that even if it is one on a singular night it always ends up with all the drinks I can hold. Alcohol and I are no longer friends. I try to think of it like people who can’t drink caffeine because it messes with their sleep. I don’t drink alcohol because it messes with my life.

@CaptainBly

Spilling all of my skeletons and reading other shares is tremendously helpful.

That is the beauty of this place. You can think that you are alone or a monster but it turns out someone has been exactly where you are before and has made it through. Keep reading and keep spilling.

[CaptainBly]

Day 7 and feeling good!!!