Crashing your thread to offer some suggestions…because I can relate 100%. I was stuck in the relapse repeat offender pattern for ages. Years! Not offering advice (because it always turned me off when people told me what I had to do) but I can share what helped me.
- I woke up and made a commitment every morning to lay my head down to sleep that night sober. I came on here to the checking in thread
Checking in daily to maintain focus #27 - I made my intention “public” on that thread, shared with the community to hold myself accountable. I spent hours and hours on here, reading, writing my thoughts, and just trying to get out of my own head. You can do in on paper, too, if you don’t want to do it here.
- I did whatever it took to not pick up - dump all the booze in the house, give my husband the car keys and wallet, sleep all day, change my driving routes so I didn’t drive by the shops I would normally stop in, call someone on my way home, buy replacements for the booze, especially sparkling water, Diet Coke, juice, and tea.
- I distracted myself as much as possible. Listened to sober podcasts or my favorite true crime shows, watched mindless TV, kept my hands busy knitting or coloring.
- I walked a lot. I have a treadmill, which I know is a benefit some don’t have, but I also walked outside even in the winter time.
You CAN do this. It helps if you can try to set yourself up to stay sober by doing a little pre-planning and being deliberate about your activities so you aren’t left to your own devices…the addict brain will try to talk you into drinking/using consistently, so have a plan to counteract it. Hang in there, and stay strong.