I have known I’ve needed to get sober for awhile, but always have a reason not to. I get the shakes really bad by about 1 pm and know that even one shot will help that, but I’m a terrible binge drinker and never stop at one. My tolerance is so high, I don’t even feel half a bottle sometimes. I feel like I don’t even know how to stop. It causes issues with my partner and I’m at the point I don’t even think I could do a road-trip. I’ll fill up water bottles with vodka or white rum so no one can tell and my closet has more bottles than the recycling bin. How were you able to start? With the amount I consume daily, I’ve read you can’t stop cold turkey. How do you limit it until you can? I’ve been honest with my partner a few times and relate the feeling to an itch that can’t be met until I’ve had a few shots. I just don’t know what to do.
Hello 
Welcome to the forum, great to see you here.
You’ve done to hardest part; recognising you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and being honest with yourself & those closest to you. Now to get a plan in place to tackle it.
From what you say, reaching out to a healthcare professional is important to determine whether you need to taper your drinking, or whether cold turkey is safe. As you say, cold turkey can be extremely unpleasant and even dangerous in some cases, so it’s important to seek help.
There’s loads of really good information on here so read around. There’s a thread that compiles all the essentials, I’ll try and link it… Welcome to Talking Sober (TS)! 2024 Update!
Hope to see around X
I’ve definitely been thinking about how to find a health care provider to help. I grew up in an extremely rural community and have never had insurance. I’m 27 and just feel lost on starting the journey. Alcoholism runs in my family and other events in my life have just lead to it being “an easy alternative” to the pain.
Are you in the US? I don’t know the system very well (I’m in the UK). There are lots of knowledgable people from the US on here that will be able to point you in the right direction though.
It is hard starting the journey, but you’ve done it. You’ve started by admitting you need to tackle this, and coming here. Those are big first steps.
I think there are many here, myself included, that can identify alcoholism within their families. I think a combination of nature and nature has affected our attitude towards alcohol. It’s time to break that cycle now x
I appreciate your kind words. I am in the US. It already has felt nice just reading some of the other posts. It’s felt like my dirty secret for so long because I can hide it well for the most part. But the habits I have, the bad nights, and the ways I’ve hid it, so many others have been doing it as well. As silly as it may sound, I’ve just felt so alone in all of it and crazy for the ways I’ve been acting.
None of that is silly at all. 
Addiction is responsible for both the feelings of isolation and the need to hide the situation. To numb those uncomfortable feelings we drink (or use our DOC). And so the cycle continues.
I’ve read many times that connection is the opposite of addiction. We need the support of a community. There’s many options - AA, Recovery Dharma, SMART Recovery etc. This forum has been instrumental in my journey X
It was reading the stories on here that made me realise I could do it too x
Welcome to the forum. I second @Louloubelle’s comments. I hope this community will be helpful for you as you embark on your sobriety journey.
Thank you. I know every day is a new one, so trying to make this one better.
I was thinking about going to my first meeting in a couple of hours from now.
Amazing, yes go !! There’s no better time.
Keep us updated 
X
Thank you so much and I will. It starts in about 2 hours, so I’ll update after that.
Hey Kelsey, welcome to the family.
I can relate to everything you said, i was drinking from 7am til 4am everyday 1 to 2 litres of rum and a lotta weed. I would even mix with apple juice so nobody could tell and I work 8 til 5 as an electrician this whole time. It feels shameful and it is. The hardest part is the decision. You hear that going cold turkey is dangerous and that for me is the only way I felt i could do it because going to detox and rehab means I wouldn’t be able to provide for my 5 kids and partner for weeks or months. I tried to limit but that was completely unrealistic for me. Ive done cold turkey in 2021 though it never lasted more than a few months, I know how hard that turkey was. The fear of going through that again has kept me from trying again for almost 2 years now and up until last week I did not think it was possible again. For me the final straw was that my best friend of 30 years passed away last month inconclusive in his bed alone. He went rehab 3 times and it didn’t work for him and I believe he actually drank less than me. After he passed I basically doubled up on the amount I was smoking and drinking and could see myself suffering the same fate as my bro. I was so angry with the world I was taking it out on everyone including my partner and kids, on my last day of drinking I was in a big arguement with my partner and said and done way too much, In my drunken rage I walked past a mirror and saw myself for the first time in a long time and that was it for me. I made my decision that I wanna live, I been cold turkey almost 6 days now and I feel like absolute shit, haven’t eaten hardly anything since. Wasn’t eating much before but the drink kinda got me through the days. Sleep is a rare luxury now and my body feels like it is at 20%. But my mind feels great, it was the best decision I have ever made I don’t have any cravings because have genuine hatred toward alcohol for what it has done and I pray that I never do. I think cold turkey is possible for some but If you can, try get medical advice and assistance.
Well done for speaking out and seeking a resolution.
That’s exactly how I’ve been for awhile now. I’ll start drinking before 8 some days and just keep going all day long. With vodka and rum I’ve found it too easy to hide. When I go out with people, I’ll fill a water bottle and find ways to drink it where ever. I’ve watched my family members do similar and now my grandpa only has 4 toes left. I never thought it would be me too, but no one ever plans to be an alcoholic. I feel like I’m going to have to quit cold turkey too, limiting alcohol is just not a thing for me at this time.
For me, I started bingeing after a crazy tragedy and it “helped” for a long time. But that was years ago now. I’m living with a partner now and like you just get in crazy fights where you do and say the worst things. He doesn’t have a problem at all and is usually sober when the fights happen. He’s been disappointed in me for months for saying I’ll change and never actually doing anything about it. I had about half a handle last night and woke up just hating myself. I know I can’t keep it up and I miss who I was before.
I just got home from my first meeting and am feeling more hopeful than I have in years. I met some really nice people and one girl invited me to join her tomorrow at another meeting and I said I would go. Thank you for your kind words and I wish you luck in your journey too.
I just got home from my first meeting and I feel more hopeful than I have in a long time. Everyone was really nice and I had a girl invite me to join her at another meeting tomorrow night. Thank you for your words. I really do appreciate it.
I’m so glad that you found it positive and supportive 
X
Well done made afriend already buddy up get to meetings meet new sober friends wish you well
Glad to hear the meeting went well!
I can relate to a lot, hiding alcohol in bottles, hiding bottles in drawers and cupboards, sneaking drinks on the way to the toilet, etc, as so many members here can. You are not alone, or crazy. This is what addiction is.
I hope you will continue with meetings and that they help you. 
Well done on wanting to change. It’s not easy but then again is anything worthwhile easy?! I was like you 5 months ago. I couldn’t go cold turkey but wanted to stop so I sat my husband down and asked him to taper me. I used to start drinking wine from 7am so I started on day 1 with a 440ml of 4% beer at 8am and had one every two hours. I asked my husband to buy them for me and distribute them, told him I couldn’t be trusted to leave the house on my own without my phone or cards and then pushed back the start time of my first drink until I had 4 beers from 5pm for 3 days and then I stopped. It was hard for the first 3 days (shakes, panic) but got easier quickly. It took me 10 days in total. I’m in AA, I can’t do it on my own! I wish you all the very best in your approach to sobriety. Big hugs X
Good luck on the road ahead!