I’m currently on Step 7 in the Big Book and I’m noticing how not humble I am! Has anyone experienced this? It’s like the moment I identified my defects they starting becoming way more obvious (maybe this is due to new found awareness?) and I’m finding myself so overbearing and annoying.
I’m trying my best to hand these things over to my highter power and to stay positive about myself.
Often I say things to seek approval/validation which translates into me talking about myself to often etc.
The main defects I’m battling with are control and selfishness which often overlap.
I’m just looking to hear any advice/tips/experiences on finding humility and letting go of old traits and coping mechanisms that no longer serve us?
Thank you and hope everyone is having a nice weekend.
when ready to take step7 , we say My Creator,I am now WILLING that you should have all of me,good and bad ,I pray that you should now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.grant me strength.as i go out from here ,to do your bidding Amen after this step 7 is completed . the point here is WILLINGNESS, The next two are action steps 8/9, thought your sponsor would have explained it to you ? hope this helps wish you well
Think @Ray_M_C_Laren has it right. Not that I would know, still scratching at step 5 here and boy do I sympathize with your post! Lately with my defects dragged into the light, I feel like I’m the most annoying person I know. Haven’t let them go yet and not sure if it’s my behavior or awareness that’s amplified. Just seeing them goes a long way in the willingness to change though!
I take it on a day to day, already doing a little daily inventory each night. “Where did I still act poorly? How could that have been better?” Then let it go and try doing better the next time.
(Also, do you have a sponsor to help you through?)
Being humble all the time is hard. As addicts and alcoholics we are selfish and self centered to the max. Well I know I am, which has gotten better with time. But I heard a statement at a meeting related to humility. And remind you, humility and humiliation are 2 complete different things. Anyways, “Not thinking less of ourselves, but thinking of ourselves less often”. Also, “I’m not the center of the world, I’m just a part of it”. These 2 quotes hit home for me! It brought me back down to normal level, not putting myself on a pedistol and thinking I’m special or unique. I had come to realize, I’m just like everyone else. And when I realized I was not unique, the real work began.
With time you will change and become the person you are meant to be. In the mean time be mindful. Think to yourself, how can I help someone today? How can I be of service? Start helping others in any way you can. Volunteer if need be. Doing things to get out of self, will open your eyes, it did for me.
Bring the topic up at a meeting.
Hope this helps! I’m here to talk any time
Step 4 you can list cause and how it effected you made a list this would be taken over to step5 ,you can sit down with your sponsor and this is a important step i always tell my guys pocket your pride and make a good foundation for the of the rest of the steps , this program isnt hard to do once its done practice the last three in your daily life .
I am not working steps, but I had a huge realization the lsst couple days that I’m a fraud. I am selfish, irresponsible, and mean. I go around acting like I’m great and I do a good job of fooling people, I get a lot of kudos for the work I do and how much I’ve accomplished, also what a great person I am. But it’s all a sham. I do and say awful things in the shadows. I just now have seen the depth of my denial. I am seated humbly before a giant fortress of lies that I have been living inside of for years. It Feels Amazing and I Love It.
I have been incredibly selfish and did not even realize it. I always justified it with something that was not quite true. All I think about is myself. Seeing this for first time is like being told the meaning of life, it is spectacular
Oh @L3AH - how familiar these feelings are to me. These realizations smacked me really hard and left me shattered for a while. Still figuring out how to put myself back together in a way that is honest and caring - and that is not all wrapped up in the quagmire of insecurity and egocentricity that has been my life for a long time. Baby steps…