So I’m still maintaining my sobriety. I didn’t drink even though everything in my body and brain told me to get wasted. Not once did I think about dope though. Those days of having cravings for that crap when I’m stressed are long gone! I found some more stuff out about being betrayed. So not only did my husband put credit cards in my kids’ name he decided he was gonna throw me outta the house and make a scene. I usually keep my shit together during his outbursts bc that is what he wants is a reaction outta me. So I went home and got a jacket for my son’s football game went into my room and he flipped out told me he don’t trust me and told me to stay the fuck outta his room. I lost it. Tired of him talking to me like that. He’s done went off the deep end now. Due to alcohol and dope. Mainly the dope. So he started yelling at me when I stood up for myself and then kicked me out which he can not do cuz my aunt gave me the house to live in not him. Now I did leave for 7 months to get sober and he asked me to come back. My stupid ass did believing he would change but he didn’t, in fact he only got worse. I did leave before cuz I knew I wasn’t strong enough to say no to him or drugs. When I came back though I was changed. I had my divine intervention and a visit from the holy spirit. Now after counseling and my visit I understand why I have my addictions. So back to the incident. He threw all my shit I have here outside and told me I’m not coming back. And I’m banished from my own room. So he fucked me over in taxes this year, he had two incidents on the car insurance last year which raised my insurance. He told me he paid off all his credit card debt in February but when I came back in March he already had em maxed out and now I’m finding these credit cards in my kids names which has me so mad cuz he’s fucking up their credit. He don’t care and doesn’t think anything wrong with it. I don’t feel I’m being over emotional. I want my kids to do good not have to dig out of a whole their tweaker dad put them in!!! Then I find out that when I was in VERY active addiction he tried to get my daughter to put me in a nut house to get rid of me. Instead taking me to rehab he was trying to get rid of me. But tells me he never fucked me over or tried to do anything bad to me. Which is all a lie. And thank God my daughter wouldn’t go through with it. His sister told him what to do and he was all about it. We had made a pact that if we got to bad we would help each other but he didn’t wanna help me he just wanted rid of me. So after finding this out and I’m still in my house cuz Im not gonna let him throw me out again. Idk how to live in harmony with a hateful sneaky shady ass tweaker who cares about no one since he has fucked his wife and kids over and my guess is all this was for his dope whore. Now he is in “his” room and won’t come out when any of us are here which I’m ok with. But who knows what else he has done in our names. 
If my right arm became infected with gangrene and threatened the rest of my body with a slow and painful death, I wouldn’t hesitate to cut it off. Would life in the near-term be difficult without my right arm? Yes. I’d have learn to do with what I have left…my left arm. But, I’d be alive, and my left arm would grow stronger and more capable, and soon enough, I’d be able to function pretty well.
Maybe give this some thought.
Hi Yoda Steve. I get it I do. I left him last year and filed for divorce. He made my life hell. I was scared to death of him and when I moved back to be closer to my kids he started in on me again wanting me back demanding to know why all this happened. I snuck in town to my grandma’s and no one knew where I was but he sure did. As his wife he treats me and the kids like crap but when I’m not his wife it goes from crap to worse. He wouldn’t let me go so I feel like I have to stay in a state of misery until idk when. He declared war on our oldest son. So he went off on two ppl in his family in one day. Hes the one who is crazy not me. Yes I was when I was on drugs but not now. Everyday I feel myself getting better. I think that bothers him. I can not leave him he will hunt me and stalk me and make my life a living hell. I’m fucked. I can’t call the cops and I can’t leave.
OMG. Just my opinion buttttttt…
Cut him loose and don’t look back.
He will drag you down.
He sounds like he could have Covert Narcissism. They prey on emphatic people. Don’t be that prey.
Flush and wipe.
You get the gist.
So he makes threats and such? Record it. Document it.
He took out credit cards in your kids names? That’s called identity theft and if he used them, fraud. He uses illicit drugs around your children? This is a crime too.
In the short term, give him the impression he’s won. Tie the knot in the rope with which he will hang himself. Document everything. Build your case. Plan your attack and then execute. Go to the cops. File for divorce. Get a protection order. Take Krav Maga and if he comes at you, smash him.
This is a fight for yours and your children’s lives. He needs to be prosecuted for his crimes, or your kids will pay the price. Physical and mental harm, screwed up credit…and on and on.
File a PFA and send him on his way. It may cost alittle but he will no longer be able to be close to you or cops can be called and he will be arrested and charged. Your peace will be worth it so you can focus on your children and living life content at being the best version of you that you can be. If the house was left to you and he has no relations or name on any lease,deed,etc he has no grounds to be there. While filing for it if your aunt can attest to that with you. You can both go to the police station to file one and have the police return with you to clear him out. (This will not send him straight to jail or anything but he will be forced to leave and.to grab his belongings and not return or contact you or it will be a violation and he will go to jail. (if you call it in on him) It does not matter if he is the father or not for filing for this. I have a friend in a similar situation. His wife filed a PFA with the courts and kicked him out the house and they have a child together. All she has to do is call the police if hes ever around her if she wants. This will put the power in your hand and not his. Someone like that i would not want my kids to be around. Trama at a young age affects each and every person and what leads most of us here at substance abusers and you dont want to see your children go through this struggle and live this life. Forget about who he has before addiction or the good as that ships sounds like its sunk. If hes not concious enough to see the toxic and abusive behavior hes not even willing to accept any fault or that he has a problem. Which im sure having to see him this way hurts but its how it is and For u to accept too. Your an addict and understand that the first step is to accept it. then we have to take action toward it and willing to do anything we can to do it. Putting as much effort in getting clean as we did to score everyday is the only way to come out winning. Part of our sobriety is to not associate much or be close to users unless we can manage without being bothered. In this situations its only a matter of time for something to happen and threatening ur sobriety. You deserve better and so do your children. do it for yourself and them and never look back. You and your family will be so much happier. If your scared to be there alone with ur kids when hes gone and think he will be vindictive has a frend or.family member stay for a little while… i hope things get better for you so u can truely enjoy what sobriety ( that u have worked so hard to achieve) has to offer without drama.
Hello sobermommy.
Lawyer up…with the goal of separating yourself from him and recouping resources for yourself and children.
I have prayed for your family’s healing.