If your ok, your ok, if not your not, when you figure what works keep going with that no pressure, its like the current in a river you can fight it or go with the flow trying to swim up stream will get exhausting.
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Wow what a thread, I’ve taken a break from meetings,only a week or so,only done online this time around…
.I get what I need from the meetings,the rest I leave there,
I got a sponsor early days and I’m in touch with her almost daily and doing step work, occasionally,it’s enough for me, at the moment.
Whatever works for you at the moment dude… don’t get down about it… it’s not the meetings fault!..
It’s gonna be alright so long as you don’t pick up
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Do you sponsor addicts? And if not, how come if not.?.. have you done the steps all to 12?..how many times?..just asking
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Just dont pick up and use, simple. If meetings trigger you dont go, you liked the one the other day just go to that one or ones like it, find the ones that work for u and leave the rest
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Do you do what works for you, I’ve been na meeting for the past 2 years and I have found nothing but love, and acceptance. I’m in the UK, also try not to over think it all lots of ppl will have lots of suggestions but what counts at the end of it all is what keeps you sober, sometimes that means trying on alot of diffrent hats to see what suits, wish u all the best
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I gave it 15 years. No miracle.
I stopped going and it was easier not to use.
After writing that, I wonder if I have found my own answer. I do not think the program helped much. I just wish I had a personal friendship with one or more people who understand what addiction is like. I think that is probably more what I want this time.
As I have said many times, I think what I need is not so much the program but friends who know what addiction is like.
It is probably misusing the program to take part for social reasons, but it seems that a lot of people have made friends in the program, so…
It is not anything said that I find triggering. It is just being around people who have used. I still find that gets me thinking about using.
To be a sponsor you have to do all the steps first. I never got far because the step actions I was given by my sponsors were financially out of the question. (Yes, I know now that not all sponsors give step actions–but I did not know that in the 15 years I was active in the program.)
I do not know how I feel about the program, but I have someone willing to take me through. He is just doing a questionaire, which I think is better than the other ways of working them.
He also said I could call him if I think I might use. Every other sponsor said to me the exact opposite, so it feels like it is against the program. I know others here have had similar offers, but it still feels like it is “wrong” that he said it.
I do not know where any of this is going.
But meeting really do make me feel so alone and hopeless.I am not sure if any possible benefit is worth it. Even after a “good” meeting last night I found myself looking up crack on Reddit. I do not know why, but I doubt the reason was good.
The miracle is life, the fact that were living. Im an addict and know what its like i can be a recluse when i want to be but i enjoy being out and getting sum sunlight being among the living, i know what its like to isolate and just want to crawl into the darkness
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I know I need to stop myself when I have an impulse like that. But it happened quickly
The trick is learning how to change the mindset, sounds like your aware of it happening and how to change it, thats great! reaching out asking for friends is out of our confort zone sometimes but its a natural human trait to be social
Then I guess the miracle happened when I gave up on the steps and meetings. The last five years have been pretty good.
But I am on a medical treatment that has made me feel more sexual desire and that is bringing drug cravings with it.
Since so much relaspsing was connected to meetings, I don’t think they are the best idea…but I do not have another one.
A miracle happened when you where born into this world, given your life😇
I think it is the confrontational part of the program that makes it hard for me. I am usually the last to leave a party, so I am especially social.
But in regular settings, no one is going to tell you everything you are doing wrong. I just find it difficult to speak when at any moment that stuff can fly at you.
You heard of a story about 2 wolves? A white wolf and a black wolf, they live inside of us all, which is the dominate one? The one that you feed the most…
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I think you may be right. Maybe I need to stop going to meetings since that seems to feed addictive thoughts.
I just need to find another way to meet addicts whom I can talk to one-on-one. The possible benefit of connecting is not worth the definite negative wolf I am feeding by attending.
Try writing down some of the stuff you think your doing wrong and save it for reference. The only thing i hear that your doing wrong is picking up and using, the other stuff just, well you decide. A decision or choice or an excuse
The confrontational part is inside you, which wolf are you going to feed is up to you, could feed them equally? Or let them devour themselves? Or just let them be a peace with one another
That is a good idea. But I am not picking up and using. I have not in at least five years. (My use was so intermittent that I am not sure exactly when the last time was. But at least five years for sure.)
I just did a quick list. I will probably do a more considered one over the weekend.
I do think that attending meetings is a problem since it nourishes the fantasy of using. I think I need to avoid ANYTHING that does that.
There are a few other things as well but they are very easy to eliminate.
Thank you. This was great practical advice.
No I meant the confrontational part of the program. I think it is a problem overall. It is hard for anyone to open up if they know that any share or personal conversation can open a confrontation.
I can handle conflicts in myself. But I need a more supportive, less judgemental environment to grow. That is why therapy was more useful than the program.