For me it is all about rigorous honesty, service to others, and connection to something larger than yourself. That is what worked for me.
And I think at base, that is what the 12-steps are supposed to delver you to.
For me, the program was about will power which did not work for me. However, my sponsors always refused to speak to me when I had the urge to use—and told me it would be wrong to speak to any addict at such a time. If you are getting support at such times that is great! I think that is what the program should do.
And it does seem to be changing. My sponsors were always hard-line old timers.
(I am working with someone in the program now who actually asked me to to call him if I thought I was going to use. You could have knocked me over with a feather.)
You can use this website to search for sober groups that aren’t meetings. I suggest a hobby like hiking or biking. They have ones that are specifically for sober folks.
Try volunteering at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. They always need help.
Take dancing lessons. I mean why not? Seems fun.
Find a community garden and grow some stuff. Talk to the other people there.
Sponsor is there to call anytime in need, you call them before u use or when you think you might use thats what they’re there for to help you talk, you off from the ledge.
I am involved in community projects and volunteer for service organizations. And everywhere I go, I am open about being in recovery.
But the thing is that people who have no experience with drug use often ask about it. I know also I must be around a lot of people who are recovering addicts—statistically that has to be, right?
But over the last twenty years, none have identified themselves to me.
I have had students ask for help with their addictions, but never a peer.
I do not understand this. Are people afraid of being outed? I even see people I recognize from meetings but they do not acknowledge that we are acquainted.
Not all see their role that way. Most of my sponsors saw their function as to get me through the steps. One said that he was not going to endanger his clean time by getting triggered by a sponsee.
I do not think there is anything wrong with that. It is important to know one’s own limits.
But there are different ideas about what a sponsor is supposed to do.
I think I misunderstood. When you said “sober groups” you do not just mean regular groups not organized around drinking. You mean groups for people in recovery…I think.
Not sure how to even google such thing. (None of my search terms worked yet.) But finding groups is a project I can work on.
It’s some kind of mind altering substance, I did not mean illegal…I did not mean to offend. Just that something you’re taking is changing the way you feel…
As a kid I remember a sermon a pastor gave. At the time it didnt make much sense. However, over the last 1198 days it rings true. He said…
“Someone once asked, why doesnt God perform miracles any more…there are still natural disasters, death from disease, ect, ect ect. I feel God doesnt perform those tiny miracles any more. He performs great big ones every single day. I have witnessed the miracle of an alcoholic getting sober. I have witnessed the woman about to commit suicide, suddenly stop. Those are the miracles he performs. He changes lives.”
Sometimes we miss the miracle. What I didnt realize as a kid…decades later that sermon could have been about me.
Ah,that’s really interesting …I found out the vitamin b6 can give you lucid dreams!..it’s also produced in the female body to produce iron and thus I found out that epileptogenesis ( that I have had a few times over the years and isn’t pleasant) is also because of this overproduction of b6
You are lucky. For me, meetings make me feel disconnected and alone. And even if you do feel connected…you go home at the end. Where you are still alone …except your addiction is still with you.
Online at least we can communicate as things go on…
I think I need to meet other recovering people, in real life, outside meetings and not on the internet, so we can connect.
…I found out the vitamin b6 can give you lucid dreams!..it’s also produced in the female body to produce iron and thus I found out that epileptogenesis ( that I have had a few times over the years and isn’t pleasant) is also because of this overproduction of b6 
