Still not sure if I'll do it

I’m pretty young, 22, and alcohol pretty much keeps ruining my life. I did a lot of stuff for my age, travelled all around the world, finished my Faculty and now I’m about to go follow a Master at one of the top Univerisites in the world. I’ve had a problem with alcohol since I was 15 years old. I don’t remember more than 2 weeks in my life since then without drinking.
Drinking itself may not be a problem, but the fact is that everytime I drink I usually end up heavy drinking. 5 500ml 4,8% alcohol beers are nothing for me. I tried to stop a lot of times and everybody kept telling me that I drink way too much.
I made people upset because of alcohol, almost died a few times, and did a lot of things that I really regret. The worst of them happened 1 month ago when I started drinking and then went for a drive. It almost got me to jail because of the high percentage of alcohol in my blood.
I always end up having the worst of hangovers, regretting my life, having a severe anxiety, feeling very bad and losing my self confidence. The worst are the periodical suicidal thoughts. I really need to change my life and prepare for what’s coming with a sober life.
I really hope I’m going to stop it for real this time, as alcohol is gradually ruining my life more and more.

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You can do this, have some faith, trust and believe in yourself @TheFauchet…! :muscle::wink: Addictions are when you can’t control harmful behavior. You can though, and you know that deep down in your heart and mind! Remind yourself: you need and deserve this for yourself if you truly seek liberation, freedom and happiness. The past no longer defines you now you’ve come this far, one day and way or another you know you want to let go and move on with your life, to grow and shine! Stay with us and see how far you can come if you actually care and try to :slightly_smiling_face: Give this place a good browse whenever you need it, so much to learn, motivation, family-like support, advice etc… Make your sobriety something important and meaningful to you! Where you’ve failed before, try something new - replace the ‘void’ with different, proactive, healthy and positive things! This growth you’ll find touches on most aspects of your life, not just quitting your addiction. Be there for yourself when you need it most my friend… We’re always here for ya, be strong and persistent, keep your head up and you WILL feel the changes within you in time! :innocent::pray:

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Welcome T
Sounds like me in my early days. And I just kept drinking. What a waste. I was chained to the bottle for 45 years. But now I’m free. I’d say better late than never. But really? I don’t know. I wish I didn’t wait so long for this freedom. It’s fucking awesome.
Here are two good threads to start:

You got a chance to have your whole sober life ahead of you one day at a time. Imagine that? No headaches. No hangovers. No jail time. No black outs. No embarrassing shit you can’t remember you did the night before. It sounds heavenly.

Hope to see you around. While sober.
:pray:t2::heart:

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Congratulations for recognizing that you would like to quit drinking and that you should quit drinking. As they say recognizing you have a problem is the first step towards helping yourself.
There is lots of help here for you.
You really will never regret the fact that you quit drinking.
I quit drinking when I was 27.
I never felt like I missed out on anything, I never missed drinking. It just became history in my life. No more hangovers, no more headaches, no more lots of stuff. Alcohol would’ve ended up killing me.
Lots and lots of help for you here and direction on how to also get help in your 3-D life should you want it.

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It’s important that you get help for your suicidal thoughts. I don’t know where you are but lots of places there are hot lines and things like that. You may be able to judge how serious they are. It’s something that you can talk about here, although this is not a suicide support group, There are people here who can help you get the help that you need.

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If you’re younger, you may feel that AA meetings are a bit overwhelming. You’re an academic, so clearly a reader with an analytical mind.
Have a read of This Naked Mind, by Annie Grace. It’s what finally got me to stop drinking after 30 plus years.
Good luck on your journey.

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I was told that I’d be digging my own grave wish i wouldve have the mindset that you do at your age. I continued digging more than 25years and found myself pretty deep almost to the point of no return. The alcohol is what really played tricks on my mind contemplated thoughts of suicide because I believed there was really no other way out. But there is a solution to my drinking problem, just avoiding that first drink. Reach out ask for help there are means necessary, just certain steps we need to take to get the help we need. Wish you well in your recovery. :pray:maybe try inpatient treatment or counseling? Recovery groups like this one here can offer lots of support and suggestions to how we’re able to stay sober.

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You probably need to rethink this one a little bit :point_up_2:. None of the above would be happening if you were sober so….

The good news is you don’t have to live like this anymore if you choose not to. I, like you, started off drinking really young and didn’t really know what life was without a drink in my hand. It turns out that life is wonderful without the black outs, the anxiety, the trouble I got myself into, the relationships I ruined, the jobs I lost and the list goes on.
I don’t have to worry about alcohol being the cause for any of those anymore, it’s on me now and sober me is pretty decent.
You can do this!
You sound like you have a very bright future ahead of you, well done for addressing this problem now. I wish I had and I can assure you that it only gets worse if left unchecked.
Keep coming back here and checking in, we’re all here for you.

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Thank you all truly for your great advices, people. Couldn’t ask for a better counselling at this moment, never had the opportunity to seriously talk to somebody about my alcohol problems in real life, but this definitely helps - knowing that somebody is having the same problems I have and dealing with the same struggle I deal with. I live in Eastern Europe for now so alcohol is everywhere in every form, but I’ve really decided to change something. It’s not going to be easy as my thriving for alcohol usually manages to overwhelm my sanity and motivation, but I need to end this.
Once again, thank you all, looking through your encouraging messages really gave me hope.

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