Well, today marks 160 days. I’m proud of myself but not as excited as I thought I’d be.
Honestly I thought it would feel different. Still lead by temptation everyday. Not as bad at the early stages but still get those whispers of bad influence in my head all the time and they never go away it drives me insane.
My boyfriend and I got into a huge disagreement today and I’m really sad about that but also sad that he didn’t realize the calendar said my 160 days!!
The weather is bringing such a beautiful day, all my friends and family are out enjoying it and I lay here in my bed in deep sadness.
Like, I want to get up but today doesn’t really feel like an accomplishment. Maybe I’m too hard on myself? Idk. Either way I haven’t been on here in a while as I deal with my mental battles in silence.
Probably isn’t healthy huh?
Just feeling lost and feeling like I’m missing out on so much in life for my 20’s. I thought stopping drinking would change everything and my life would go back to normal and things would be perfect. Not sure why I thought that would happen.
I can’t seem to dig myself out of this hole of depression.
Oh those great expectations of early sobriety…they hit a lot of us I think. And I know many a story of loved ones who didn’t know or celebrate a milestone. We do celebrate them here tho…so congratulations on your 160 days!!! That is some hard work.
It would be great if sobriety magically solved all our mental health issues, depression, anxiety…oh how I wish. But sometimes those very things were part of the why of our self medicating.
Your body mind and spirit are still healing. So I hope you will cut yourself some slack and be gentle with yourself as you continue on your journey. You are strong and brave and smart to make changes in your 20s. There is more to life than drinking and drugs…finding a community that supports you (like here or one in 3d) may help you feel more settled.
I am sorry you are feeling down. Many hugs being sent your way.
I am truly sorry you are feeling that way. I do understand about thinking sobriety and how hard I work at it Life should reward me with less challenges. Same challenges just not drunk.
I was in bed couple times in the past hour. Finally got up and took a shower. Then came here to TS to bitch about life not being fair.
Made myself laugh. Was worried I had misspelled FAIR. fare?
Funny how one’s mind works.
Congratulation 160 days. Although I personally think you can celebrate in bed all day maybe might be better to get up and smile.
First of all, girl…160 effing days sober!!! That is so fantastic! You’re doing it, one day at a time. I still take things one day at a time and some are better than others but those earlier days can be really rough. I’m proud of you.
So glad that you are reaching out when you’re feeling so down. I personally have trouble doing that when I am depressed and isolate myself, it doesn’t help one bit. Super smart move on your part to find some connection here, and I’m glad you know we are always here for you any time you need. Perhaps this is a new pattern you can work on developing to come here when you’re having those tough feelings? I know it’s better if I do that before I get really low and it can be hard to take that step at that point. But you did it!
Staying sober and working on recovery take up so much of our time, energy and emotional strength. People who are not in that situation themselves don’t get it like we do because it’s just not right in front of their faces like it is for us. That can hurt when we don’t get the acknowledgment of how hard this is and how hard we are working. Big hugs your way. Time helps and things get better, for real.
Have you tried listening to any recovery podcasts? It can help to hear other people talking about their experiences or educating on topics related, and some are pretty funny, too. It’s something you could do when you just feel like staying in bed or taking a break from the people and things around you for a bit. Feels less lonely. And I do hope you consider checking in with us some more! Miss seeing you around.
Congratulations on 160 days and wish you many more. It’s crazy how we have emotions now and feeling and its ok not to be ok. Just don’t stay there. Everyone i notice for me didnt celebrate my milestone but heck i got up and went and got a cake n didn’t share a piece. We have to be our biggest cheerleader at times. One day at a 1. Again Congratulations .
Well done on 160 days. Be careful, don’t let the alcoholic voice trick you into drinking again by using the sadness as a foot in the door.
I had to get professional help to overcome depression, and some of the symptoms you describe sounds very similar… The lethargy, lack of energy, not wanting to do anything or move.
If you can book an appointment with a doctor or with talking therapy I highly recommend taking that step, get some advice and tell them your symptoms. I think your drinking could have been masking this before, now you are in a position to help yourself and get help from others. Please do it, depression doesn’t just go away by itself (I used to think that, but it’s not the case) you’ll need some help.
I feel you. I keep coming here to talk about the same thing. 106 or 107 days now and still get the blues plenty often. Little things that shouldn’t bug me so much get me pretty down.
You’re not alone. Jumping into the lake (it’s good weather here for it lately) helps me a bit. Getting good sleep helps too but it’s really hard for me to get any quality sleep at all.
Stopping drinking ends what would have been the future consequences that drinking would have caused. Past that mental health and personal relationships are different aspects of life.
Feeling sad is normal sometimes. But if you are feeling depressed for a long time, I would recommend medication and professional help. I have had medication for depression for 1,5 years and I talk with a psychiatric nurse once in two weeks. Psychotherapy I haven’t needed. My life isn’t so fantastic right now, I have money problems and my job ends next month, I have to move at my parents. I rarely feel actual joy anymore but still I feel happy about my life. I believe that the medication is helping me. I still want to live without medication some day, as soon as I have my basic needs secured (job and income at least).
There are other things of course wich are important like exercise, nature, friends, diet and so on. I’m interrested on changing my diet into more healthier way, they say it’s good foor the mind too. I eat so western and heavy now😅
Great to see you posting Lys and congrats on your 160+ days of sobriety!
The expectations in our sober journey are so wild. I know i read up on what others were doing / feeling and thought for sure i would be the same. Little did i know that each of us is different and has different experiences on this journey. I do know that even though i am not where i mentally thought i would be, i am so much happier not being in the dark Stuper that was my previous life.
So sorry that you are feeling this way. It is ok to feel sad and i’m glad you were able to post about it here. Hope that it helped writing it out. May also be helpful to talk to someone in real life. Sometimes our reasons for drinking / using in the first place need to be sorted out and that is not a very easy task.
I do find that my loved ones are very supportive but have no idea of my journey or what it is that i go through. This is why i rely so heavily on this community. Cause here i am around others who get the struggle and are able to help me get out of my own way and keep pushing forward.
Here for you friend - hope to see you around. Sending much love to you and big hugs
Living without alcohol gives us the ability to experience all phases of what human life is about - yes, that means sad, angry, glad, grateful and everything in between.
The longer I was sober, the more I came to enjoy the various emotions that arose as I went thru life. It makes me real.
When I feel sad I journal or I color in my journal coloring books and coloring books that I have it helps me calm down when I’m sad or when I get angry
I can relate to your down mood. I just made it to 1000 days and actually am going through the worst hole since I started my sobriety journey. This is after I decided it was time to start a relationship, that obviously failed. I ran into myself so badly. I thought I was on track, felt good, had done therapy and all. Now back to depression, loneliness, anxiety, sad sad sad. But no drink. Yes, I went back to therapy, have some things to work on again…
I also thought in the beginning that just stopping drinking would do the trick, but along the way realized there is a lot more work to be done. I recommend therapy, get to know your self better. It takes time and effort.
Thanks for sharing! I’m 1 day and 16 hours in. Know that you’re not alone in your feelings, how you’re handling them, or your respective.
Today, I’ve felt resentful… Was I really that bad? Will the anxiety ever leave? Maybe everyone else that’s “concerned” are jealous losers? Then my mom called me, spoke to me about perspective. She wanted me to know her and my dad are proud of me. My dad even came on the phone, told me he is here for me and that he loved me.
The thought of people are actually proud, they don’t think I’m a horrible human. Everyone wants me to succeed… I would like to give you that same message.
I’m proud of you, it’s tough to express yourself. I’m glad your sharing and if anything know they your story actually help give me perspective. Thank you and hopefully your sadness lifts
I’m sorry that you are feeling like that. Achieving 160 days sober is a huge accomplishment, and you should be proud of yourself, even if it doesn’t feel as exciting as you expected. Dealing with temptation and the whispers of bad influences can be incredibly challenging, but it’s commendable that you’re persevering through it.
It’s also understandable that you’re feeling sad about the disagreement with your boyfriend and that he didn’t acknowledge your milestone. Communication is key in relationships, and it might be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with him about how you’re feeling. That’s if you haven’t yet.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and it’s okay to take things one day at a time. You’ve already shown strength and resilience by making it this far, and I believe in your ability to continue moving forward, even through the tough days. Here’s to 160 days.
and wish you many more. It’s crazy how we have emotions now and feeling and its ok not to be ok. Just don’t stay there. Everyone i notice for me didnt celebrate my milestone but heck i got up and went and got a cake n didn’t share a piece. We have to be our biggest cheerleader at times. One day at a 1. Again Congratulations 
.
