That is what got me a few times trying.
Plus I drank beer when I got hungry so I’m hyper aware now!
Thanks for all your help.
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Thank you. But I relapsed again two wine bottles smh
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But you’re here right? 
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Definitely I am thank you
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Having some cravings but I plan to stay busy today busy today and hopefully they quiet down. It’s definitely not easy though 
@Cammy43 how you hanging in there?
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Hang in there Briella 
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It’s happening…I’m 15 days in, feeling great and now suddenly I’m trying to come up with a plan to go to my dealers house🤦🤦🤦
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Thank you for coming and checking in. Just play the tape, don’t make that plan. You’re to far ahead rite now, remember the super crappy feeling the first 4 days. And also look at the good better days you have been having here lately. I wish I had some crazy better advice here for you, I’ve been struggling a lil here myself lately but just remember absolutely not a damn thing good is going to come or happen if you do go through with this, you’re going to feel good for what ? A couple of hours and are you even actually feeling good. Things are stressfull rite now, but using is only going to add to the stress. Something must be bothering you that is making you want to use, I would focus on what’s bugging you and work on fixing that instead
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Dont pick up!! Be strong!!! #ThorStrong
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It’s ok Cammy! like Aaliyah said “dust yourself off and try again”. U can do it girl!!
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I’m so glad this worked out well. As I was reading this thread I kept rooting for you to stop listening to that voice. I equate that voice with the devil and the devil is a liar! Good job on figh5that crave!! 
Thanks for the support. @anon60334405 as always you have great advice Thank you and I did make it through. To be totally honest it just didn’t work out and I’m glad for that. I also did like last time and my phone died and I just turned it back on now, and first thing I did was jump on here. I’m doing ok, made it through another day. Cravings still strong but doing ok. Thanks for the encouragement have a great night everyone.
I know this is going to sound all technical but for me it helps to understand my disease. It doesn’t serve me immunity by having knowledge of it but coupled with all the other great advice here it just might help to combat this thing. After all we’re all fighting for our lives here
So I try to remember that the phenomenon of craving is the physical part of this disease. Not the mental part. When I put any amount of alcohol in my body I then lose control of how much I will consume. Therefore unleashing my disease on myself by consuming alcohol.
The mental part. Which is where the disease is centered ( in our minds ) is called the obsession. My mind will try to convince me that I can drink again for the right reasons. And that I will somehow not suffer the consequences of my physical allergy. In other words: well I’ll just have a few. A nice buzz would be good but I’m not going to drink myself into oblivion. This is the obsession. If I only had craving the solution would be simple. Don’t drink. If I don’t drink I’ll never suffer the reaction my allergy creates.
So for me when I still suffered from the obsession to drink. I knew I was only combatting 1/3 of my opponent. That’s an easy fight to win for anyone right? Not for us. But at least it levels the playing field.
The 3rd part is what’s called a spiritual malady.
Short description: irritable, restless, discontent.
My mind uses this malady to justify or affirm my diseases influence that drinking this time is justified.
At the end of the day I haven’t made the choice to drink. It was my disease that convinced me I made that choice. Used my self against me.
I always remember that I don’t know when my binge is going to be done.
If I put that monkey on my back I don’t get to pick when it gets off. Could be a week, 6 month, a year or more.
I hope this makes sense. It helped me in early recovery.
This applies the same to addiction. I work both programs. Mostly alcohol lately
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Wise words Mike. You have an encouraging personality. You ever think of getting into life coaching or counselling, or maybe some type of youth centre work / community organizing work? You’d be good at it.
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Wow @SobeeDad that just made me really think about my addiction a little different, makes me think maybe I haven’t completely accepted that I have to give this over to something bigger than myself, that I really don’t have control. I’ve been using an app to work on the steps and reading the big book, replacing alcoholic with addict of course, I think I need to kind of revisit and recenter myself with steps 1-3. I appreciate you reaching out, your post was very deep and relatable and helpful. Have a great night 
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I agree, He would be great at that 
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Thank you. glad it’s relatable. In the big book from doctors opinion to page 23 is about the allergy of the body (craving) from page 23 to page 43 is about the obsession.
Additionally if you would like to read something I wrote more extensively. Scroll down through the threads. I wrote one called: If you’re new this threads for you.
I had to give it to my higher power to overcome this thing. So excellent job with recognizing that.
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Thanks Matt, I appreciate this. See the thing for me is, I’m much better at being encourageing through message and txt. But if I was to try in person, I have a hard time thinking of the rite things to say. I’m sure with practice I could be good at it, and you opened my eyes on something new maybe I could try.
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It’s tough when the person’s right in front of you. I feel the same way sometimes - I can express myself well in writing, but when I’m in front of people I get self-conscious. But I’m learning, I was lucky when I was in school to have some good leadership & communication mentors and I keep looking for mentors today. Communication is a learnable skill 
You know what though - service & helping others is part of the 12 steps; one place to consider might be some type of service work for addicts in recovery. I bet you’d feel confident speaking with them.
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Unfortunately, and I’m not kidding when I say this. In my town there is no recovery place, there is no rehab center. There is a place for a.a meetings, and the last time I went there was only 3 ppl that were older and way more experienced then me. We have a population of maybe 3000 here, it stinks. I really do feel like I’m meant to be more. This town is full of ppl who only care about drugs and alcohol, I seriously don’t know anyone who doesn’t drink or do drugs. And I ever try to express getting sober, and anything I get attacked and quick. Ppl do not like it, my town is seriously a fucked up place
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