What. Should. I. Do. I cannot seem to function without alcohol and piles of it to boot. Nobody notices much because drink, or no drink, im gentle, unselfish and quiet, except for my music sometimes, and the music is always Ave Maria. Then my family knows…when Ave Maria goes up 100 decibles!! Anyway, my poor little body sure knows when i dump a pint or more of spirits into it. Of course, there is something behind this drinking thing,. My whole life has been a personal tragedy, no drama intended but it just has been, supposed childhood (never even had a childhood) and all…but when tragedy struck my most loved one, well, then, enter Mr. Alchohol. Big time. Now i want to get rid of Mr. Alcohol but man, does he have a stranglehold on me! Has anyone ever totally been unable to function without this guy (Mr. alcohol) and how do they push him away and still keep functioning???
Welcome. Glad you are here. And I hear you. How do we extricate ourselves from the mad relationship with addiction? Life is suffering, and who wants to suffer? So we struggle against that and turn to things that bring us comfort, at least for a little while. But it’s only temporary. So we use more of the thing that brings us comfort , then more, and before we know it, we’ve gotten caught in the mousetrap.
Everyone has to find their own way. But everyone needs tools to get and to stay sober. There are lots of resources here. And support and love. Without judgment. You are not alone and you can this. 
Welcome D
It takes a lot of hard work to beat this cunning and baffling disease we have. The only medicine we have is to not take that first drink. The most important drink. If that first drink hits my throat all bets are off. I change into a different person that I don’t like. I couldn’t stop drinking all by my self. I had to get support, help, and knowledge.
Have a good read around.
There’s lots to learn. We got to change. And changing our lifestyle is hard. Being active on here every day has helped me a lot. Along with many other tools.
I hope to see you around.
