Thanks for that. I needed to hear that. I am a mess right now though and you’re right I need to focus on my health and sobriety.
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Like @anon12657779 said, get back to the meetings. Sounds like emotions are running your thinking right now & that’s a dangerous place to be. I encourage you to get some distance from this “friend” and focus on your sobriety right now. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. But right now it doesn’t sound like you’re in a good place to be in any kind of relationship with someone in active addiction. It sucks. It’s not fair. It’s hard. It’s confusing. It’s sad. All of that is 100% true. But what this doesn’t have to be is a doorway to a relapse. You have tools because you’ve made it 365 days. Get out those tools and take care of YOU!
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I want to be clean enough to not act on my emotions, I can’t shut them off but I don’t have to act on them. I likely cannot trust my emotions at this stage of my sobriety
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That’s what I am saying!! Who knew 11.5 months could be such a shitshow?! Thought I would be totally ok by now? Haha
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This was definitely a lesson! I thought I could handle it all? Nope! I am in no condition to be involved w anyone like that. Feels like I walked right into it. Glad to still be sober but it’s been a lot of tears.
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That’s the biggest part of the year milestone funk, a year isn’t actually that kind yet we expect to be fixed by then. I’d encourage your to type milestone manned in to the search function at the top and you’ll find it’s perfectly normal
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Tears are not all bad you know? Cry the tears then take what you’ve learned and move forward. Tears mean you are human! That’s a good thing friend. 
I’m heading to bed. Keep us posted on how you are doing so we can cheer you on! This too shall pass. Night.
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Yeah you’re right. Where are my boundaries on this? Ugh?!
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It’s a very important thing to remember, or emotions are all over the place especially romantic emotions and notions. It’s why rehab romances are such a big thing and one of the biggest causes of serious relapse 
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Just get yourself back to AA as soon as possible, stay away from romantic connections after you have actively worked on your recovery for a minimum of twelve months, stick with the women at the meetings and don’t risk your serenity for anything or anyone. Life throws up enough bumps in the road to deal with, if we add extra drama or allow other people’s dreams in then we have no chance😀
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It’s like you have just snapped back in to recovery reading your last comment, if you have been trying to help and deal with someone under the influence like that then I think that you have done really well to stay sober 
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It’s been an emotional shitshow. Really difficult. And really sad for me!! Because I see myself in him. All of this is emotional torture but just trying to get through it.
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Well I was actually thinking about this and how it impacts my marriage. My emotions have been all over the place these last 30 days but that doesn’t mean that I have to let them rule me. I’ve been drinking away my feelings for a while now. But being sober means I have to deal with them. And that means I have to deal with issues in several relationships. Biggest one of course being my marriage. It’s just a good perspective to remember - emotions during recovery are volatile. Some days I’m thankful for my husband. Other days I try to blame him for making me drink. The truth/reality is somewhere in there. Just have to remember that my feelings aren’t always based on reality. Ok… Enough from me. Sorry to hijack your thread @Erinie. All the best to you!
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Right now my feelings are a mess! I don’t know if that’s normal? It’s very frustrating. Going back to AA though ASAP. Have to get through all this. I don’t like feeling like an out of control emotionally unstable person…at least I am not drinking though which I know is worse but I tend to forget how bad I was.
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It sounds like your aware enough to give it time and get a true gauge on things and figure them out the right way.
I was half asleep and just nipped on for a second 
it’s been worth it though, happy we could help by chatting with you @Erinie I’m going to sleep now I’ll hopefully catch up with you again on here. Have a good day/night wherever in the world you are.
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I’m in Texas in the US. It’s 10pm and I’m really going to bed now. (Been saying that for 30 min). Glad you popped on here @anon13078412. Sleep well. All the best to you @Erinie. Saying a prayer for you to feel peace and comfort as you navigate all the feels! Hugs 
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Thanks everyone…I am on the West Coast. Trying to just chill.
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I am still sober. And the friend reached out. So there is that.
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Glad you’re still sober! Did you get back to AA like you had mentioned? I’ve never been but I am thinking it might be time to give it or some other program a try. Still sober here too!