The chapter was written by Dr. Paul Ohliger, who died Friday, May 19, 2000, in Mission Viejo, California at the age of 83.
“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.”
“Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”
Emotional (not just logical) acceptance of one’s alcoholism is imperative to becoming well and preventing relapse. I needed reminding of this today because I’ve been blaming all my discomfort on my husband and his family and my two year old. It’s not right and I just realized I was doing it because I want to drink. Or die. Or whatever. But it’s not because I’m unhappy with my life or the people in it.
Thank you for sharing and for also sharing the ways in which you weren’t practicing acceptance, it helps to see I’m not alone with what I’m struggling with currently… Plus seeing you looking for ways to recognize and right it, is reassuring. I have been resisting acceptance with other’s realities because it leaves me without them. But it is better for them to go their own way. And the reality is I’ve been blaming others for where I’m at emotionally. All it’s left me is with a stunted growth in handing my feelings more appropriately.
Loving this interview! Here’s a great quote from it Q … In your Big Book story, you say that acceptance is the key to everything. I wonder if you’ve ever had a problem accepting what life hands you.
Dr. Paul … I think today that my job really is to enjoy life whether I like it or not.I don’t like everything I have to accept. In fact, if everything was to my specifications and desires there would be no problem with acceptance. It’s accepting things I don’t like that is difficult. It’s accepting when I’m not getting my own way. Yes, I find it very difficult at times.
